student whose boyfriend is applying to med school

Hi All!

This is a really great website and I'm really glad I've found it!
My name is Jessica and my boyfriend is currently interviewing at med schools around the country. It is a very stressful time for both of us! We are both seniors, and next year I will be teaching while he is starting his first year.

I am just really nervous about this new transition. We can't spend as much time as we want together now (because we go to different colleges), and it scares me because I know that in the future we will be spending less time together.

Does anyone have any advice for me or what I can do to make us both feel better about this new experience. And I was also looking around at the marriage questions, and I was just wondering if anyone had anymore advice on that topic.

Thanks!

[DCJenn]

Jessica-

Welcome!

We've tackled your questions a lot of different ways. Check out some of the answers in the introductions and in the General section. the first year of medical school is very difficult for some people. It's the year that is a 'weed-out' year.

Feel free to join us in the areas below!

Jenn

Welcome Jessica!

My bf is a first-year student. This a great supportive place and have touched on all aspects of the medical relationship so take a look around.

My best advice is to communicate w/ your bf. Talking about what you're both facing ahead will help to tackle it when it actually happens. Talk about how you're going to manage your time together. How often do you see him now?

Good luck...and it's natural to be nervous...I know I was (and still am at times)!

Sharon

Jessica,
My bf is a first year student at NY Medical College. I agree with Sharon that communication is definitely the most important thing.

Right now my bf and I are living together. For me, I think this was the best move because he does have limited time because of studying, but when he does take breaks from everything I am already there and ready to hang out! I know that in our relationship that if we were farther apart it would make things much more difficult, although it definitely can be done.

My biggest piece of advice to you is make sure that you find things to do in your area. Your teaching will help you make friends where you will be living, and hopefully you will have time to explore before you start working.

I must admit though, you already have a head start with all of this by finding this forum! Just being able to hear stories and interact with people going through similar experiences as you is invaluable!

Keep us updated on what going on!
-Sarah

[houseelf]

Jessica,

Welcome to the boards. Best of luck with all the transitions. I can honestly say that we have survived many bends in the road and are happy together. Hopefully, you will find the same is true for you.

Nice to "meet" you.

Kelly

Hi, Jessica!

My advice? Run away, run far far away! Get out while you still can!

Okay, I was just kidding! But seriously, I can tell you that the first year of medical school is exhausting, both physically and mentally. You are probably going to be tired, too, from acclimating to being out of college and working full-time, and your boyfriend is going to be finding himself neck deep in the most intense schoolwork that he's ever done. You're probably both going to be tired and in the need of nuturing a lot.

So! Not to be an echo, but I'm also going to recommend that you keep the lines of communication very open. Try to schedule times to have dates, but remember to be understanding when your boyfriend has zillions of study groups scheduled and notes to take and notes to pass onto classmates. Find some outside interests and pursue them, so that you'll have contact with people who are a little less distracted by school all the time. By having your own interests and activities, you will be able to do things that make you happy, which in turn, I think, will rub off on your boyfriend. If you depended on him to fill all your friendship needs (and I'm not saying that you do--just that this could happen in some circumstances), you're going to be pretty lonely and unhappy while he's in the Gross Anatomy lab AGAIN.

Med school is a tough time, but if you're both willing to weather the storms and keep a running dialogue, I think you'll be just fine. And you can always ask questions or vent here. Welcome!

JenL

Wow you guys are really great! Thanks so much for all the advice! Its really good to know that I can always come here and talk about things that I wouldnt be able to talk about with other people.

Since the holidays are right around the corner, anyone have any good ideas for a med student to be?

Thanks again!
You guys are great!

Hi,

Good luck with the future med student! I remember that the application process was very stressful for me because his top pick was in New Hampshire, and I'm in Ohio. We had already dated for three years long distance and I was ready to try out the idea of having a boyfriend in the same zip code as me. Luckily, he ended up going to med school at the same place I'm finishing up my undergrad. I'm not sure what would have happened otherwise! It's hard work being in a long distance relationship, and it's hard work being in a med student relationship! I would suggest talking to him about where he thinks you guys are heading, and then work from there. I think it's easier to have everything out in the open to make sure you guys are on the same page. We spend so many months talking about hypothetical situations, I didn't know what either one of us thought. I never thought that I would be the person that rearranged her life for a guy, but I knew that Brian was the one for me and that's the chance I was willing to take. You just have to trust that he would do the same for you. So now I feel like I'm rambling and not making sense and it's all because I'm working the night shift! (Well not working too hard if I have time to play on the computer, right?) The best advice? Stick around here and get lots of support from tons of people that have been through it all! And as for the Christmas present, a GOOD stethoscope, some scrubs for anatomy (careful, sizes run big!) or a book about being a doctor (the human side of it, not the technical/medical side ) are good ways to show you're supportive of the whole deal.

Kate