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Happy to be here...

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  • Happy to be here...

    Hi everyone,

    I have been dating my wonderful boyfriend for about 2 1/2 years. He just began his peds residency in June in Philadelphia. I am finishing my MPH degree and hope to find an internship in the city (we live in Center City). It has been very difficult dealing with living together for the first time and also him beginning his residency. He is often exhausted and emotionally unavailable. Some months have been better than others. It has been very difficult trying to move to a new city I don't necessarily like that much (it is growing on me though!) and not having a job I care for...or knowing a soul. I don't like feeling so dependent and hate to think I am sacrificing my career prospects for a man who hasn't proposed to me yet - we have planned on getting married next Fall (2009) but nothing has happened so far! Anyway, sorry to unload but I guess that's what this forum is for...? Looking forward to having some support !

  • #2
    Re: Happy to be here...

    Welcome, post often - we've all been there!
    Wife to NSG out of training, mom to 2, 10 & 8, and a beagle with wings.

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    • #3
      Re: Happy to be here...

      You have come to the right place.

      Welcome!

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      • #4
        Re: Happy to be here...

        Welcome!

        Good to have another Philly member on board. 3 years and the city still hasn't grown on me :huh:
        Student and Mom to an Oct 2013 boy
        Wife to Anesthesia Critical Care attending

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        • #5
          Re: Happy to be here...

          Hi!

          I'm glad you found this site - it's been a great place for me to find other spouses/so's like me. My husband is also an intern. Crazy life, huh?
          Laurie
          My team: DH (anesthesiologist), DS (9), DD (8)

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          • #6
            Re: Happy to be here...

            Welcome! I lived in Center City a few years ago and it definitely grew on me. I wound up loving it. I'm sure it's crazy there now with the Phillies in the World Series! We're just outside the city now and I miss it. My husband started residency in June also. It's tons of fun isn't it?

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            • #7
              Re: Happy to be here...

              You're right - the city is def crazy with the World Series right now! As far as intern year goes, I am starting to look back at med school like the 'good old days.'

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              • #8
                Re: Happy to be here...

                Yeah, I'm being forced to watch the parade tomorrow with work colleagues. I'd rather stay in the warm office
                From my experience, Intern year is the worst and takes a toll on your spouse. They go from being in med school and having no responsibility to being dumped in stressful, sometimes life and death situations. We all know they don't get enough exposure or clinical time in med school. I know it's all part of being a dawkter but it's rough.

                I think the saving grace of our marriage has just been letting things go...It's not easy but in the end DH has very little control over his work hours, exhaustion, stress etc. :huh:

                Instead of talking about the negative effects his job is having on your relationship, try and get him to sit down and talk about what he's going through. I guarantee that it will give you a better understanding and maybe make it easier on you. I'm sure he is as miserable as you are, if not more so...
                I had this talk with DH in his intern year and I was shocked, I had no idea how down he was about everything. I was too busy thinking, yeah, it's tough on him but he benefits from it in the end. I bet half the doctor spouses on here when asked if they would do it all over again would say no.
                Student and Mom to an Oct 2013 boy
                Wife to Anesthesia Critical Care attending

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                • #9
                  Re: Happy to be here...

                  Glad you found us!
                  Charlene~Married to an attending Ophtho Mudphud and Mom to 2 daughters

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                  • #10
                    Re: Happy to be here...

                    Welcome, glad you found us. I love Philly! I live about 45 minutes away. I have been in this week for a conference and have had lunch at the Reading Market daily!
                    Luanne
                    wife, mother, nurse practitioner

                    "You have not converted a man because you have silenced him." (John, Viscount Morely, On Compromise, 1874)

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                    • #11
                      Re: Happy to be here...

                      I live one block away from the Reading Market Terminal! I LOVE it! Thanks for the warm welcome!

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                      • #12
                        Re: Happy to be here...

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                        • #13
                          Re: Happy to be here...

                          Welcome!

                          Kelly
                          In my dreams I run with the Kenyans.

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                          • #14
                            Re: Happy to be here...

                            We need to set up a Philly meet up!
                            Luanne
                            wife, mother, nurse practitioner

                            "You have not converted a man because you have silenced him." (John, Viscount Morely, On Compromise, 1874)

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                            • #15
                              Re: Happy to be here...

                              Welcome!
                              Veronica
                              Mother of two ballerinas and one wild boy

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