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HI from Cleveland!

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  • HI from Cleveland!

    Hi all! I decided I finally need to get on here and find what support there is for "the other half". I can't say I'm handling being married to a third year medical student well. I am way too needy! This is the second medical school move I've made. I first moved from CA to MO, and now we're in OH. I'm lonely and understand that I have to make my own life happen in order to make this a good experience, I'm just having a REALLY hard time doing it and it seems to finally be coming to a head this weekend.
    From the sounds of it, many of you have been in my shoes, which is really nice to know.

  • #2
    Hello!

    Welcome to the boards. I hope you find yourself here often...this place has been very helpful to me. I'm Jill, married to a third year Internal Medicine resident who will start a 2-year fellowship in ID in July.

    It really can be tough and lonely to get through medical training. For me I decided to deal with it by becoming involved in things I really enjoy...going to movies, museums, the gym...anything so that I'm not always home alone and sad. Elective months are so much better than unit months so look forward to those. I am also on the needy side but eventually I realized that I had to adapt to being to someone with a crazy schedule. Luckily I also have a crazy schedule so that makes it somewhat easier.

    What is your husband looking to go into?

    Good luck and welcome. Post often!

    Jill

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    • #3
      Welcome,
      The medical life is an emotional roller coaster. My husband is in private practice (15 plus years) and I find this site very helpful, even though we aren't in school, the same crazy schedule exists. I think the holidays make it worse, when you are really missing family & friends. Good luck, it will get better.
      Luanne
      Luanne
      wife, mother, nurse practitioner

      "You have not converted a man because you have silenced him." (John, Viscount Morely, On Compromise, 1874)

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      • #4
        Welcome! Although I've only been here a short time, I ALREADY feel so much better. Your note really struck a chord with me, as I'm sure it did with many others.

        My husband is a first year fellow--we have been married for almost 8 years, so we've been down the winding road--and wow--what an adventure! I am especially fortunate as are many people on this message board to have a VERY supportive spouse. Although I have had many moments of loneliness and self pity ( ), I found that returning to school was the greatest thing I ever did during the course of his training. We managed to maintain a LDR when I went to nursing school--he in IL and I was in MO....I even lived in the dorms as a married "non-traditional" student! To say I was terrified, nervous, etc about this social situation is really an understatement! But I can now say without reservation that the people I met during those four years are my friends for life. I grew (up!!!) so much during that time period, and so did our marriage. Plus, I got to be a crazy college student all over again

        Not to say you have to be away from your S.O. to make it through this time (and excuse the tangent I launched into!), but just a word of encouragement to not hesitate to try something new. I never thought I would return to school, let alone to become a nurse. Although it can be so difficult during this time, who you become may surprise you as well as everybody else!

        It's great to have you here!

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        • #5
          Pipsqueak,

          Welcome. So many of us can relate to the "moving around blues". At one point, we had moved three times in three years. Besides the emotional angst, it took a toll on finances. Currently, however, we are staying put in St. Paul, Minnesota for the tenure of my hubby's surgical residency.

          My hubby and I originally hail from Southern Ohio. Also, this board has a long term member, JLynnB who is in your region. Perhaps you all could talk about things to do and resources in the Cleveland area.

          Anyway, welcome aboard!

          kelly
          In my dreams I run with the Kenyans.

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          • #6
            Hi Pipsqueak!

            Welcome to a great community! And yes, we can all relate to how you're feeling. My bf is a first-year med student and we've had a lot to adjust to.

            I was born and raised in the suburbs of Cleveland, Ohio. Have you gotten to explore the city at all?

            Welcome again...look forward to hearing more from you...
            Sharon

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            • #7
              Thank you!

              Thank you all so much! I can't tell you how much better I feel having just put it out there that I've been so miserable lately. Not feeling so much self-pity today, just a determination to go out and see what's out there for me to do around here. I've joined a gym and a dog obedience class, which both should keep me happy and occupied. Also, last night we invited a couple to dinner (husband in residency and wife in my shoes), and made plans to go out with a woman I work with at the end of the week, so I'm pretty proud of the steps I've made in the last 24 hours!
              Thanks again for all your support. I truly appreciate it!

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              • #8
                Congratulations, baby steps - that is all it takes. Good luck and again welcome.
                Luanne
                Luanne
                wife, mother, nurse practitioner

                "You have not converted a man because you have silenced him." (John, Viscount Morely, On Compromise, 1874)

                Comment


                • #9
                  Hi from Michigan

                  Hi pipsqueak- I am also new to the forum. I am engaged to a 3rd year med student and just moved here to Michigan from MO- so I can totally relate. This year has been tough so far, but there are not so tough times also! We did the long distance relationship for about a year last year and I decided to move with him when he got his rotations here. Being away from family and friends is so hard to get used to. I started getting really"needy" the closer we got to the holidays. Sometimes we just have to give each other a reality check to get back into the swing of things. We try to schedule definite times together, especially during the really terrible rotations. We joined a gym together (we go together but never work out together!). I also had the hardest time meeting new people and getting used to doing things by myself. I can't say that I am over it yet (it's been 5 months) but it's getting easier. Anything you do to become more independent, I would love to hear- I am always up for ideas of things to do! Well, good luck with everything and I hope to get to know you better!

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