This is really cool...I have so much to ask!!!

Hey everyone!
I am so glad i found this!! I have been really confused lately. A year and 4 months ago I started a relationship with my boyfriend. We knew from the begining it was not a typical relationship. I'm hispanic, he's jewish, I'm 20, he's 31...so on and so forth. But we enjoyed each other's company and there was (is) a lot of chemistry between us. So, yeah, things evolved into love and we started spending a lot of time together. I've taken vacation with his family and is all really cool. Now, he just got his PhD last year, got a job in Washington, DC and moved 3 months ago. I just spent a few weeks with him for new year's and it was great. My problem is that I can see how hard it is for both of us to be so far away. And I really don't know how medical school will affect us. I know my plan is to move there when I graduate next year. But what if I don't get into a Medical School in DC, or Virgina?
I can tell he is getting really inpatient...he wants a stable relationship and plan for the future...so do I...but I also want to become a doctor...and wouldn't want to hurt the relationship.

What do you guys think? How could I deal with this situation?
Thanks so much!
Karina

[Auspicious]

Hi Karina! Glad you found us.

My boyfriend is a first-year student, and we were together through most of his med school application process, so I empathize with your situation--it's a very emotional, exciting, and stressful time.

My thoughts based your post are this:

:arrow: First and foremost, realize that you may simply get into a med school in the DC area and everything will work out exactly as you want it to. Of course you want to think through all the possibilites, but during the application process our mantra was "Let's not get too upset over things that haven't actually happened yet." It's easy to lose sight of that when the immediate future is so uncertain.

:arrow: If he's getting "really impatient," that's not a good sign. Hopefully it can be chalked up to the fact that he just moved and started a new job and made the transition out of grad school and is therefore craving security more than he otherwise would. It must be hard for him and he must need a lot of patience and kindness right now. BUT he spent years working on his education and he moved away from you in order to pursue his career, and that sets a precedent in your relationship. You are absolutely entitled to those same opportunities. Your career and personal happiness are certainly as important as his. If he really wants to be with you and you really want to be a doctor, then he has to settle in for the long haul. Again, it's hard.

I'd tell him that you want to be with him and are going to do everything in your power to get to DC, and that's all you can do for now. If things don't work out that way, THEN reassess what you want to do at that point. A lot could happen between now and when this comes to a head at graduation time.

Good luck to you, definitely. Please keep us posted on how things are going.

Julie

[HeartRN]

Welcome, Karina! I think Julie summed it up beautifully. Take one day at a time and hang in there. Perhaps if you wind up in DC or VA, we might meet someday!

[houseelf]

Karina,

What a pretty name! Welcome to one of life's truths: Life is messy. Although we like to plan, things have a way of going the way that they are supposed to. The life of a medical family is particularly messy and sometimes you just have to let go and see what happens. Now, if I could take some of my own advice....

We wish you the best of luck with all of these developments. Hang around and we'll try to all get through all of these changes in our lives collectively.

Kelly

hi, good luck we can all use it.