New to site, need advice or just an ear!!

I have been living with my boyfriend for 1 year & 1/2, we have been together 5 years. We graduated from the same undergrad college in 2000, though he is 4 years my junior. We have been through many things, including the deaths of his grandmother & grandfather (basically his parents; they raised and supported him financially). He has a BS in Psychology and wants nothing more than to attend med school to be a Psychiatrist. After several stops and starts, including a move so he could complete premeds, we are on a stop to handle his grandmother's estate. He decided he didn't like the Continuing Education program at the University, but wants to try another university in the fall. I try to be supportive but it is so hard sometimes. I know he really wants this, but I'm 29 and not sure how I'm going to be able to handle 6 more years!!
I do work part time and he has enough trust money to live on, but we fight already about where we are going...I'm terrified of life while he's in med school. I want children & to be married and all that stuff. And while it would be nice to be financially comfortable and a Dr's wife, I feel like we are so untraditional and this is taking so long, I don't know if I can wait for all that!
Sorry this is taking so much space, but I have never come across any other site where I could spout my concerns. This is very unique and speaks to my situation. I value any advice I might find here!

Hi! Sorry, I am not sure what your first name is. I'm Jessica and fairly new to the site too. When I read what you wrote, I just had to reply. My husband is a first yr Med student. I stay at home with our 2 kids ages 5 and 2.5 years. We are both 29 ( Did I actually admit it?? 8O ) When I saw that your concerns were your age and having a family while in school I just had to chime in here and say....It CAN be done! When we first got married 8 years ago, my husband was a business major. We had no plans for Medical school. We were running a retail business that he owned. He grew to hate it and went back to school full time and really starting thinking about Medical school. When he came home one day and told me I was so excited for him to know what he wanted but secretly I thought, how would we have a family? How will we afford it through school? How long is his undergrade going to take? That was about 5 years ago. And I voiced all of those concerns and we both talked about them and did what was comfortable for us. I am sure your bf is further along in his undergrade though. Since then we have had 2 kids and I have been home with them the whole time. He worked his way through undergrad owning and operating a house painting business. Some people really questioned us and wondered why I didn't work full time so that he could've gotten through school faster but it was a decision we made b/c we wanted our kids to not be in daycare that whole time. We felt the income I could've made would not have even halfed his. Anyway, my point is that now here we are. Some days are really hard b/c we get stressed financially and emotionally I don't have a whole lot of friends that can relate to be a med spouse (that's why I have you guys! ) But the outcome will be so worth it b/c he will get to do what he has worked so hard to achieve. AND I get to work so hard at what I am trying to achieve right now, being a good mom. I am not sure how your bf feels about kids. As I was writing this my husband walked in and I explained to him your concerns and he said to tell you that he is so happy that we have our little family and that it is a support for him. I am rambling but please hang in there. The best thing I think you can do is to talk talk talk to your bf and go through this time together! I really hope this helped and that I made sense.

Welcome to the site! Everyone here is so warm and helpful~

Jessica

[Meenah]

Welcome,
I am Luanne. I am a nurse and my husband is a Pulmonologist. I can't really offer advice on when to have children during training, because this is a second marriage for both of us. I had my daughters when I was 25 & 27. They are now 17 & 19. I am so happy I had them when I did, becuase now I am 45 and am really enjoying them (with a few tense months interspersed). My husband also has two, a son 17 and a daughter 20. Life is really a roller coaster no matter what you decide, but from what I have seen here on this website, anything is possible. Never give up on your dreams. I look forward to getting to know you.
Luanne

[houseelf]

Mushytushy (GREAT NAME! )

My question for you is, who is traditional? Really, the people that I know leading those seemingly cookie cutter lives have problems galore that are just hidden.

As another "spry" 29 year old, I know that the emminence of the next decade has the effect of challenging us to make us sure that we are on the right path. It sounds trite, but everything happens for a reason. The medical path isn't an easy one, but it is doable.

Best of luck and welcome to the boards.

Kelly

[SueC]

Hi, I'm Sue and I'm married to a first year fellow. We had our kids during residency, but we plenty of people who started their families in med school. Actually we have some very good friends who started their family right out of high school and they are now finishing a fellowship--I'm sure it was hard at times but they made it through and are doing fantastic! Anyhow, someone told me once and I believe this to be very true--time will pass whether you are in medical school or not--so in 4 years you'll all be 4 years older regardless of which path you take. Medical training does have its own unique set of challenges, but I believe most couples who have a good relationship can make it through.
Welcome to the boards, by the way!