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Seeing a fairly new relationship thru the match

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  • Seeing a fairly new relationship thru the match

    Has anyone ever seen a fairly new relationship (9 mo.) through the match? (moving to new states, having to talk about moving (following) their bf to another state before we should have to deal with this subject) (especially when the other is a male who cant deal with 2 important decisions at once-residency and relationship)(we are both in our mid-late 20's). I know that things will work out how they are supposed to, and Id guess in my favor, its just hard to not know how things will turn out. I am also applying to medical school this June for the fall of 2004 and would love to be in the same state as him for as long as possible (during my application year at least) Any stories or words of wisdom would be appreciated.

  • #2
    The most important thing to do is to take it day by day. My boyfriend is going to med school in the fall. It was very difficult because he applied to a lot of schools that were very far away, and i had to think about leaving my friends and family and moving to a new city where i wouldnt know anyone. Luckily though, he got into a school close to home so he'll be around atleast for the next four years. I know that it gets frustrating and you want to know right now what is going to happen in a few months or a year, but just take it day by day and communicate with one another.
    I hope everything works out for the best!

    -Jessica

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    • #3
      new relationship

      Well, we saw a new relationship through searching for an internship position in germany (that's where we lived at that time..my husband is german born and raised 8) )...we survived that, our first year of marriage, moving to N. Ireland basically sight unseen, moving to the US a year later......and we celebrate 9 years in March.

      It is possible. I agree with Jessica that you need to take it one day at a time...be realistic about your expectations and look at this as an....adventure 8) if you can!

      I hope that you both get accepted close by!!!!!!!!!! Keep us updated!

      Kris
      ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
      ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

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      • #4
        Re: Seeing a fairly new relationship thru the match

        Originally posted by ls14
        (moving to new states, having to talk about moving (following) their bf to another state before we should have to deal with this subject) (especially when the other is a male who cant deal with 2 important decisions at once-residency and relationship)(we are both in our mid-late 20's).
        That all sounds very familiar from when my boyfriend was applying to med schools last year. He had started the app process before he had even met me, and on some kind of whim had applied to the University of Hawaii. Of course, several months later (and several months into our relationship) he gets invited for an interview there, when he still hadn't been accepted by any other schools. We were both sweating bullets that he would get accepted there and nowhere else, in which case I would not only have to ask myself "Do I want to move to a new city to be with this guy?" but "Do I want to move to the middle of the freaking Pacific Ocean to be with this guy?"

        In our case everything worked out on its own--he got accepted to school here in NYC and didn't have to move at all (well, actually he moved in with me ). I agree with Jessica that you have to take it day by day and with Kris that it's important to look at it as an adventure. Those were both essential attitudes to the process for me.

        Sorry I don't have a match story, this is the best I've got.

        Good luck!
        Married to a hematopathologist seven years out of training.
        Raising three girls, 11, 9, and 2.

        “That was the thing about the world: it wasn't that things were harder than you thought they were going to be, it was that they were hard in ways that you didn't expect.”
        Lev Grossman, The Magician King

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        • #5
          I have no match stories, but our lives are a day to day roller coaster. My husband is an attending (Pulmonary/Critical Care) and we each have two teenagers. The word schedule does not even exist for us. I cannot imagine surviving school & residency, but many people do it "one day at a time". Good luck.
          Luanne
          Luanne
          wife, mother, nurse practitioner

          "You have not converted a man because you have silenced him." (John, Viscount Morely, On Compromise, 1874)

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          • #6
            Thanks, I know things will work out how they are supposed to. It's nice to hear things that keep me rational about all of this. Keep them coming. The good thing is that we do communicate very well and everything about our relationship points to it working out.

            The next question, if it works out, is for all of the spouses of physicians. I know anything is possible if you try hard enough, but will we ever survive having a family if we are both physicians. Clearly him and I aren't at this stage, but just a discussion I'd love to have. Not that I won't still try if I hear negative thoughts 8)

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