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Newly engaged! Thankful for this site!

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  • Newly engaged! Thankful for this site!

    Hi everyone!
    I am Michelle and I came across this forum in a desperate search for understanding into the life I will be leading in just a few months! My financee is in medical school 4 hours away. We make the drive to see each other every weekend. I always thought "no matter how busy he is in his residency, it will be better than only seeing him 2 days a week, and all the driving." That was until 4th year started and he had his first month of working on call...120 hours a week! Only then did I realize "oh crap, this is going to be hard." So I'm hoping to connect with some people on here and find out what it is like to be married to a resident, and how you cope with all the time you spend alone (I'll be moving out of state...I won't know anyone!). Any insight you could share would be really greatly appreciated.

    Michelle

  • #2
    hi!
    .

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    • #3
      Many of us survived our spouses' period of indentured servitude...welcome to the community!

      RB

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      • #4
        and nice to meet you! Congrats on the engagement! When will you be getting married? What specialty is your husband applying for? Do you work or go to school?
        Loving wife of neurosurgeon

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        • #5
          Welcome!
          Wife to NSG out of training, mom to 2, 10 & 8, and a beagle with wings.

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          • #6
            WELCOME!!
            Brandi
            Wife to PGY3 Rads also proud mother of three spoiled dogs!! Some days it is hectic, but I wouldn't trade this for anything.




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            • #7
              Hey!
              Tara
              Married 20 years to MD/PhD in year 3 of MFM fellowship. SAHM to five wonderful children (#6 due in August), a sweet GSD named Bella, a black lab named Toby, and 1 guinea pig.

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              • #8
                Hello and Welcome. I am 3.5 months into my new adventure of having moved to a state where I know very few people to be with my Dr. Its can be rather lonely at times, but this site does help. If you ever need to chat, let me know .
                -L.Jane

                Wife to a wonderful General Surgeon
                Mom to a sweet but stubborn boy born April 2014
                Rock Chalk Jayhawk GO KU!!!

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                • #9
                  Wife and #1 Fan of Attending Adult & Geriatric Psychiatrist.

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                  • #10
                    Please click one of the Quick Reply icons in the posts above to activate Quick Reply.

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                    • #11
                      Welcome and congrats on the engagement! I'm another MSIV spouse, so we're basically in the same boat.

                      I keep busy, which helps. Plus most of my female friends are single, so it's totally comfortable going out with them sans DH. However, they're all in Manhattan, while I'm stuck up in the Bronx. So it also really helps to befriend other med-wives. They "get it", and also, in med school, tend to live close by.

                      And ditto all of MarissaNicole's questions.
                      Back in the Midwest with my PGY-2 ortho DH and putting my fashion degree to good use.

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                      • #12

                        Welcome.
                        Luanne
                        wife, mother, nurse practitioner

                        "You have not converted a man because you have silenced him." (John, Viscount Morely, On Compromise, 1874)

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                        • #13
                          Welcome!!!
                          Veronica
                          Mother of two ballerinas and one wild boy

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                          • #14
                            Thank you all so much! I'm still learning how to use this forum...I wanted to respond to everyone individually to be more personal, but can't figure out how. My financee is going to specialize in orthopedic surgery. He's doing 3 away rotations out of state over the next 3 months. Yikes! It will be the first real test of my sanity I think. I'd love to hear more about others' experiences like this. I don't know if most people also have had an "omg, i just realized that he/she is going to be like...REALLY busy. how is this ever going to work out?" experience too, but if so I'd like to hear about it (just so I know I'm not being ridiculous...some people in my life have enjoyed this little "come to" because it is a chance for them to say, "well, darling, what did you think marriage was going to be like???"). But I do think that medical students/residents/doctors and their spouses do have an added challenge, and I'm happy to be on a forum that can offer suggestions on how to handle it. Thanks again for all your responses, and please keep them coming!!!

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by mmart36 View Post
                              Thank you all so much! I'm still learning how to use this forum...I wanted to respond to everyone individually to be more personal, but can't figure out how. My financee is going to specialize in orthopedic surgery. He's doing 3 away rotations out of state over the next 3 months. Yikes! It will be the first real test of my sanity I think. I'd love to hear more about others' experiences like this. I don't know if most people also have had an "omg, i just realized that he/she is going to be like...REALLY busy. how is this ever going to work out?" experience too, but if so I'd like to hear about it (just so I know I'm not being ridiculous...some people in my life have enjoyed this little "come to" because it is a chance for them to say, "well, darling, what did you think marriage was going to be like???"). But I do think that medical students/residents/doctors and their spouses do have an added challenge, and I'm happy to be on a forum that can offer suggestions on how to handle it. Thanks again for all your responses, and please keep them coming!!!
                              To respond individually and privately, click the name and a drop-down menu will give you the option to send a private message. To respond individually and publicly, click "quote" at the bottom right of each message.

                              Anyway, also ortho here! DH got back Sunday night from 2 months of aways. I was swamped the first 3 weeks of July (a visit to my bff and two summer classes!), but after a while it got rather lonely/boring/messy at home so I was more than ready to have him back!

                              Are you going to be able to see him at all while he's at his away rotations? DH went to Chicago and Indianapolis. I loved my Chicago trip - met up with lots of friends and acquaintances and just wandered the city - but Indy, not surprisingly, had less to do. I spent much of that week with family and saw DH for only a few hours.

                              Yay for another ortho-bound MS4 spouse! Maybe I'll see you on the interview trail, haha.
                              Back in the Midwest with my PGY-2 ortho DH and putting my fashion degree to good use.

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