Greetings - new to medical school, new to marriage

hey all -
a brief introduction:
I'm 24, and will be finishing my MPH Spring semester, getting married, and then starting medical school in the fall. My fiance is finishing her degree one class at a time, and is working in the banking industry. Not the most exciting job in the world, but stable income is nice. I'm planning on working in my current lab during my first two years of med school, then breaking for two years to do a PhD. Then back to med school, and off to residency. My fiance and I both very much want kids, and sooner rather than later. She's a year younger than me, and we want to start trying to conceive our first child by the time she turns 30. So that gives us 7 years - just barely enough time to get through med school plus the PhD (if I can do the PhD in 2 years, maybe 3, which should be do-able according to my PI).

Obviously, my career is very important to me, but so is my soon-to-be wife (and future children). I was hoping that through this site I could get some help in figuring out how to balance the whole school/career - marriage/family thing. I have little problem making sacrificies for my chosen profession, but I really want to minimize the discomfort of my fiance. She deserves the best.

So, that's a little bit about me.

[mommax3]

Nice to meet you! I am Sally, wife to an OB/GYN currently halfway through fulfilling his committment to the Air Force. We are originally from Indiana, but did residency in San Antonio and are at Sheppard Air Force Base (otherwise known as "the middle of no where") in north Texas. We have three boys, aged 8, 4, and 1. My husband and I have known each other since we were MUCH younger -- we met when I was 12 and he was 10 and have been pretty much inseparable ever since, so it sounds like we have that in common with you and your fiancee.

We had our first child towards the end of 2nd year of med school, and of the three, that was the easiest time. Our second was born at the end of intern year, and our third was born 8 weeks after residency was over.

A lot will depend on the specialty you choose and your wife's career plans, but don't overlook med school as a time to have a baby. You will be able to be much more involved in the baby's life as a med student than you will as a resident, no matter what specialty you choose. Medicine can and will suck the life from you and leave you with nothing for your family unless you determine ahead of time that it will not be your top priority. Most of your time may have to be spent away from your wife/kids by necessity during your training, but never let the hospital feel too much like home if you can help it.

Just my .02! Again, it is nice to "meet" you -- send your fiancee our way sometime, too!

Sally

[Meenah]

Welcome,
My name is Luanne, I am an RN and my husband is a Pulmonologist. This is a second marriage for us both. I have 2 daughters 17 & 19 and he has a son 17 and a daughter 20. I suggest you introduce your fiance to this website sooner rather than later!!!! Sally is right , medicine sucks the life out of you. It is still doing that to us. Best of luck.
Luanne

yeah, I've been nudging my fiance over here, but she's a bit busy planning our wedding

In the mean time, I figured I'd try to learn a little bit about what other spouses of medical people have gone through.

[Rapunzel]

Well, I see from your profile you are based in Minnesota. Lucky for you guys there are quite a few people on this site also based in Minnesota!

yeah, I saw that there's a meeting in MN. Pretty nice. Seems my med school (U of M-TC) is somewhat supportive of medical spouses. I attended a lecture a few months back hosted by the medical school on surviving the medical marriage - nothing earth shattering, but interesting. I thought it was pretty cool that they invited incoming first year students.

[houseelf]

Adcadet,

As a Saint Paulite---welcome to the boards. Hubby is a third year gen surgery resident at the U of MN and we have a three year old munchkin. I hear that the med school here is pretty nice to their students and they don't have to pull crazy call schedules in their third and fourth years like some med schools require. Hopefully this gives you a little more cheery outlook. And then I can't suggest strongly enough to pick your specialty wisely. I'll leave it at that.

Welcome and join on in!

Kelly