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I used to be cool...now I'm searching Craigslist posts for friends.

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  • I used to be cool...now I'm searching Craigslist posts for friends.

    Hi Everyone!

    I am super excited to find this community - I moved to Orange County, CA from Chicago 6 weeks ago for my husband to begin his Pediatrics residency. We got married on a Saturday, he started his residency on Monday (as in 2 days later). I am trying to remain positive, but the job market in CA is pretty dismal, my husband works 24/7 (duh), and I am seriously struggling sans job, car, friends, or family.

    I'm sure this situation will be better when I get a job, but at this point, it feels like I'm going to be biding my time for 3 years until we are FREE except for the fact that my husband wants to specialize in pediatric cardiology, so there's his fellowship after that...6 years of "waiting for things to get better" (plus 4 years of med school with the same mantra) feels totally overwhelming.

    I promise I'm not a total Debbie Downer - just dealing with a lot of changes at once, and hoping that I will start feeling "like my old self" again soon!

    PS - my husband's brother gave us a tandem bicycle as a wedding gift...i know he had good intentions, but WTF!? When my husband is home, he's sleeping, eating, or watching tv. Not suggesting that we take a MF-ing ride down the beach together. I am just imagining myself trying to ride it alone, like a total weirdo.

  • #2
    Welcome!



    PS - my husband's brother gave us a tandem bicycle as a wedding gift
    Dude...we totally would have been thrilled to get that as a wedding gift. We were actually talking about it today during our bike ride--I thought out loud how awesome it would be for DH to do all the pedaling!
    Married to a newly minted Pediatric Rad, momma to a sweet girl and a bunch of (mostly) cute boy monsters.



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    • #3
      Welcome! We'll be your friends! I'm cracking up about the bike! If it were something you'd expressed interest un, great! But who just randomly decides to get someone a tandem bike? Hehe!

      Anyway, some of the best advice around here us to try not to delay living your life waiting for the "better" years. Do all you can (while minimizing debt) to be happy now, and let the Dr. fit into your schedule when he has time.

      Looking forward to getting to know you! Post often!
      Laurie
      My team: DH (anesthesiologist), DS (9), DD (8)

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      • #4
        Welcome! The image on someone riding a tandem bike alone, just made me laugh at this early hour....I hope you find your niche soon in CA and that things look up!
        Danielle
        Wife of a sexy Radiologist and mom to TWO adorable little boys!

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        • #5
          Welcome!
          Wife to NSG out of training, mom to 2, 10 & 8, and a beagle with wings.

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          • #6
            Ok, so first off. . . you just *have* to set up a facebook page using the title to this thread. I'm sure you'll have millions of "friends" and become an internet celebrity. Heck, we should rename the iMSN FB page. . . You'll fit in just perfect around here.
            Wife and #1 Fan of Attending Adult & Geriatric Psychiatrist.

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            • #7
              Welcome, and congratulations on your marriage! You have definitely come to the right place. The folks here are amazing. I hope you get on your feet in CA soon, but in the meantime I think most of us here can commiserate with the feeling of riding a tandem bike alone!

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              • #8
                I used to be cool...now I'm searching Craigslist posts for friends.

                Welcome! I, in fact, saw a man riding a tandum bike up first ave yesterday alone- as in without a partner. He was handling it well but can't say I would not feel like a looser doing it! Lol!

                I second the not waiting for your spouse to do stuff cause you will never get to do anything or anything without lots of frustration.
                Wife to Hand Surgeon just out of training, mom to two lovely kittys and little boy, O, born in Sept 08.

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                • #9
                  Hi and Welcome!
                  -L.Jane

                  Wife to a wonderful General Surgeon
                  Mom to a sweet but stubborn boy born April 2014
                  Rock Chalk Jayhawk GO KU!!!

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                  • #10
                    Welcome!! I hope that things will start looking up for you. At least you're somewhere that has nice weather. I have a lot of family in Orange County- though I am not from there. I remember when I got off the plane in August in STL for my husband to start medical school, I was already depressed about leaving my family and CA and BAM I was smacked with all the nasty humidity. I thought I was going to die! Three years will go by fast. DH just started PGY4 of 5 [plus a year fellowship that he will be applying for this year] and it goes by faster than you think. Like someone else mentioned, enjoy life as best as you can. DH's G'ma lives in Corona del Mar. We love visiting Balboa Island. The Ritz and the Montage in Laguna Niguel have awesome beaches. Nice for a walk.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by DominiqueFKWR View Post
                      I am just imagining myself trying to ride it alone, like a total weirdo.


                      You will fit in here perfectly. If any person could ride a tandem bike alone it would be a med spouse. Welcome to the club...we totally get it.
                      Tara
                      Married 20 years to MD/PhD in year 3 of MFM fellowship. SAHM to five wonderful children (#6 due in August), a sweet GSD named Bella, a black lab named Toby, and 1 guinea pig.

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                      • #12
                        You don't have a car in CA, but you have a tandem bike with no riding partner? That's some kind of irony!

                        You're not a Debbie Downer--at all. Very common concerns and situation around here! (And by "common," I mean both the "ordinarily occurring" and "communally held" definitions!)

                        Welcome aboard!

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by DominiqueFKWR View Post
                          Not suggesting that we take a MF-ing ride down the beach together. I am just imagining myself trying to ride it alone, like a total weirdo.
                          LOL

                          Welcome Dominique! This is a great place to vent and chat and laugh with people who are going thru very similar situations! I'm still pretty new, but so far it has really made such a difference in my life and a positive impact on my relationship. I have a place to go and rant about this, or ask advice about that so that I am not always bouncing every thought off my SO. I am so glad you found it too! Welcome Welcome!

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                          • #14
                            Welcome!! Congratulations on your marriage! You will be in good company here with your concerns.
                            Wife to PGY4 & Mother of 3.

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                            • #15
                              and nice to meet you!

                              THANK YOU for starting my day with TWO laughs... you post title and your story about the bike.
                              Loving wife of neurosurgeon

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