Its finals time and I'm takin the back seat

Hey everyone! I realize this probably isn't the right forum to post this question, but I suppose it'll be alright.
My MS1 SO just started finals yesterday and I knew this week was going to be a lot of me on my own and I was ready for that. However, I've recently come down with some kind of cold ad have been miserable. I know he doesn't have a lot of time, so I have tried not to bother him too much, but a part if me wants him to just take care of me since i feel out of sorts. I know he can't be as attentive as I'd like so I am finding that I have to just shrug it off. However, it is very hard to be the supportive and strong one when I just don't feel well. I became so stressed last night for various reasons and ended up having a panic attack. I felt responsible and guilty he had to take cate of me instead of studying. Throughout this process, I knew he wasn't going to be as free as he used to be, so I almost feel like a failure for messing things up so soon. The last thing I wanted was to be the naggy girlfriend, espeially during finals time. Sorry the post is so long. Does anyone have any suggestions? Thanks a lot.

[Pollyanna]

I don't have a great suggestion other than to say, figure out a way to be okay with the backseat. Find a way to enjoy doing things on your own, continue to live your life. Don't wait for the doc to do things or you will never do anything, seriously. It is different for everyone but for us there was much more free time in med school than at any other point during this process. Once you hit residency/fellowship there will be call, away rotations, etc. On the plus side, you will get stronger. And the very best support is iMSN. Come here often, post often, this place has gotten many of us through the rough patches. Good luck and welcome to the club!!

[Michele]

What she said. Also, if you are able leave town...go visit someone when he has big test. I'm not always the best at being by myself, so I arranged visits home to coincide with the times Russ would be busiest and unavailable. When you're sick it sucks and you just have to suck it up. And unfortunately kinda get used to it....because as your doc ventures into clinicals, they bring home more funks. But like Pollyanna said, we are the best support.

I took trips home during the rough spots, too.
Looking back, I wish I hadn't made as big of a deal out of some things as I did - but then, I also wish I hadn't let some other things slide. I don't know that anyone can tell you how best to handle your unique relationship. But we can all sympathize with feeling like we're taking a back seat to medicine sometimes.
When DH & I got married, I was not good at all about taking care of myself. Now my family is amazed - sometimes shocked - at the things I handle on my own. You just learn to do it.

I hope you start feeling better soon - being sick stinks. And good luck to your SO on the finals.

[diggitydot]

We were married long before med school, but I've always been of the thought that if this (whatever crap happens to be hitting the fan at the moment) is the worst thing that ever happens in my life, I'm doing OK.

MS1 is a HUGE life changer. It's going to take some time, flexibility, and maybe a little ingenuity to figure out your footing. Hang in there and feel free to swing by here when your head is ready to pop.

My only advice; stock up on the Dayquil and wine.

My only advice; stock up on the Dayquil and wine.

Yep. Otherwise find things to do outside of your relationship with him. It is what it is and sometimes it really sucks, when it does visit this site!

[Lala]

I agree with what everyone has said about how important it is to find things to do on your own, especially when your significant other is super busy with exams/call etc. I also wanted to tell you to try to not feel guilty that he had to "take care of you instead of studying". I understand why you felt bad, but at the end of the day, he is not just a med student- he is your BOYFRIEND, and that's an important responsibility too! Besides, he wouldn't be there for you if he didn't want to be.

Thanks a lot for the advice ladies!