New to this forum

Hello everyone. I stumbled upon this site while searching for support for significant others of doctors. My boyfriend of 4 years is a soon-to-be 2nd year ER resident over 3 hours away from me. We have survived the 1st year, but it has been quite a ride with many ups and downs. His schedule is so demanding, as many of you probably know. We try to see each other as much as possible, but it is really hard. I am not in a position to move there now due to my career. And he is not ready for the big committment (marriage). So, basically we are figuring it out as we go. However, I find myself lonely a lot, despite my moderately active life. I am anxious to hear more of your stories, advice, and experiences. Thanks!

[PrincessFiona]

Welcome

Mags,

Welcome to the group. It must be really challenging to survive residency AND have to work through the challenges of a 'distance' relationship. Three hours isn't too bad, but it isn't the same as being in the same town or house! Wow!

What is your profession?

kris

Kris,
Thanks for the welcome. This is the first time I have explored a mesage board/forum. Any tips or things I should know?
I am a social worker. I work for a hospital in behavioral health doing individual and group psychotherapy in an outpatient clinic. It is very challenging work, but I enjoy it and have great co-workers.
Long distance relationship is very difficult. I try to have a lot of patience, but sometimes I just miss him so much. He is very laid back, and is very focused on his career (he was the same way while in med school). I just hope it is all worth it!
Tell me more about you and your situation.
-Mags (Karen)

[Meenah]

Welcome,
I am Luanne and my husband is a Pulmonologist. I am a nurse. I work in the ER and Endoscopy. Our schedules are crazy, we never see each other and we are the oldies here. I look forward to getting to know you.
Luanne

[Meenah]

I'm sorry. That sounded really negative, I didn't mean that. This website is great. Yeah Kris!!!
Luanne

Hi Karen,
Welcome!
I am Nellie and my husband is doing a derm research fellowship and will start a derm residency in Portland OR next July. I work from home as a consultant. We have an almost 3 year old daughter and are expecting a baby in January.
Glad you found us!

Welcome to the site.

I am Robin and my husband is just finishing his internship year in 6 days!!! YEAH! He is doing anesthesiology so we have three more years here in San Antonio.

It must be hard to keep your relationship strong with the distance and the resident schedule. Come here anytime for support.

Your career sounds very rewarding and that has to be a great help to you with your boyfriend so far away.

Hope to get to know you better.

Robin

It is great to hear from everyone. Is anyone having a problem with this site? For me, it seems to going slow and in the wrong colors?
This is all new to me (message boards) so bear with me.

Is anyone else currently in a long distance relationship or was in one during your significant other's med school or residency?

Robin, congrats to your husband. How did you guys survive it all?

[migirl]

Hi Karen,

Welcome to the boards. A little about me... My husband is a soon-to-be PGY-2 in urology at the University of Michigan, we've been married for 3 years.

We did the long-distance thing during his first two years of med school, we dated for one year and were engaged the second year. He went to school in Washington, DC and I lived in Michigan so we were a 1-hour flight away from each other so we only got to see other about once a month of so. I always flew to see him, since he was always so busy, and then he came home for vacations and breaks. While it definitely wasn't easy, it is definitely doable. We made it a point to talk on the phone at least every couple of days, and email was another good way for us to keep in touch with each other. Our situation was a little different since we weren't just a short car ride away from each other, so our once-a-month visits were very special! In my opinion, our long-distance experience has made our relationship that much stronger because it forced us to really work at it. And while he didn't have too much free time, I think it actually helped him that I wasn't around then because he didn't have any "distractions" from his studying.

Hang in there, it sounds like you've been coping thus far... I forget, how long is an ER residency? 3 years?

~Jane

[SueC]

Hi Karen,
I'm Sue, married to a pulmonology fellow, and we have two girls age 3 and almost 2.
We were long-distance for 6 months while we were dating. It was tough but we got through it! This is corny, but schedules permitting, we would drive 1.5 hours Wednesday nights and eat dinner together. It seemed to make the week go by faster.
Welcome to the boards!

Hi, and Welcome. My DH is an ER attending in Ohio and we have 2 DD. Can't answer any questions about long distance relationships but can answer plenty about EM. Where is he doing his residency?
You will love this place, plenty of good adice and support.

Trisha

[SuzySunshine]

Hi Karen,
I'm married to a final year med student and we did 14 months of our relationship long distance too! He got into Stanford at the last minute and I had just started a new job so we managed through 14 months of being a 3 hour plane ride apart. The site is great, I've only been here a month myself!

Cheri