Still trying to decide...?

[Beth]

He has said that he would like to maybe do the first 2 years at CSU and then he mentioned Lake Erie and Hiram, I believe. He has mentioned all of those other schools as well, but I don't remember if he was talking about undergrad or actual med school. He has thrown a lot of info at me and I listen, but I feel like those are details that will fall into to place if we decide we are going to move forward with it. He has mentioned NEOUCOM to me as well.
I appreciate the honest answer of-If we could do it all over again, we wouldn't.

NEOUCOM has a direct-entry BS/MD program, not a DO program. It's through Youngstown, Akron, and Kent. They're actually adding CSU to the mix, too. It's typically high school students and it starts immediately after they graduate high school in June. I honestly don't know how it works with non-traditional students. But the whole thing is worth a look, I agree.

LOL - I'd written MD and then thought "no, that can't be right!".

I appreciate the honest answer of-If we could do it all over again, we wouldn't.

Well, WE wouldn't for a myriad of reasons, the most obvious being that my husband went to med school because that's what his parents raised him to do.

I just think a lot of people paint "being a doctor" as THE pinnacle of working in the field, w/o truly knowing all that goes into it aside from having the smarts to get in to school. If the goal is to be able to help people, do procedures, make good money, have some job stability, then there are many more roads to get there than medical school.

[MissCrabette]

Since you mentioned it in a previous post, I'd caution you against Caribbean schools. Things aren't looking up for foreign grads since they're doing away with the possibility of a pre-match next year. You may think that's not important because your husband wouldn't have considered pre-matching anyway, but all the people who normally would've signed contracts outside the match are now all of a sudden competing with your husband for a spot. I'm really curious to see how this change will impact things, but it's a turning point, that's for sure.

Moreover, Caribbean schools are EXPENSIVE, and with few exceptions (SGU, Ross, and AUC), the loans are all private and with interest rates through the roof. I can't tell you how many students have had to scramble to secure financing after their current lender dropped them or when certain loan programs were completely discontinued. That's unnecessary stress on top of the stress of medical school. They are also quick to kick you out, unlike US schools, and in fact a large number of these schools function on the "weed out" principle. You always hope it won't be you, but somebody's got to fail. Their clinical spots aren't the best by a long shot, and they hang you out to dry when it comes to arranging electives. It's a hassle.

Oh, yeah, and you're at the bottom of the barrel when it comes to getting into residency. Do everything you can to avoid going this route.

[scrub-jay]

I appreciate the honest answer of-If we could do it all over again, we wouldn't.

I'm a relative baby on here, my DH is an MS3 (3rd year med student) and although there are emotional days (for me mostly), there is no other choice for us. This is all he wants to do with his life - there is no alternative, no back-up plan. If there were...I would have encouraged it. It is not an easy path, there are days on our current rotation where DH doesn't see our daughter at all and she stares/knocks on the front door while saying "Daddy" repeatedly. It is far from glamorous. I can't come up with an appropriate analogy, but medicine is ALL my husband will do. It is a bit cliche to say "it's a calling" but it is. I hope this made some sort of sense.

ETA: I am working full time to support us while we live 3 states away from any family and pay out of state tuition. We have one toddler. But at the end of the day - we are in this together, he might get the M.D., but this is our path.

[peggyfromwastate]

Dh graduated from a small college with no debt bc he went to a small college where he could pay for it all through scholarships. We got married after college- he worked a few years as a county health inspector before applying to med school He applied to 15 or so med schools and was very fortunate to be offered acceptances early. He took the military route bc at the time we already had 3 kids, but MOST Importantly he always wanted a career in the army as well. He tried to enlist out of high school but family drama kept him from boot camp!!

He was 25 at the start of med school, and we have never regretted the military route at this point but we are limited by where we can be stationed. We will be "paying the piper" soon by doing military payback etc etc. I am very grateful for the salary dh has had, the training he's received, and the free healthcare for the kids and me. We have 5 kids now- 3 have had surgeries (one has had 2 surgeries), I've had 2 complicated high risk pregnancies, our meds are all covered by the military including type 1 diabetes meds for my son, etc etc.
Suffice it to say I feel very lucky to be where I am.

BUT my dh has said many times that it's not worth it and that he wished he'd done a different route. He loves being a surgeon, but he feels that he has missed so much family time
and major milestones in the kids lives and he's not convinced medicine is worth that. And he hasn't even deployed yet!!! But he's had a total of 15 months away rotations etc that really depressed him.

He has worked with NPs who have been able to do lots of procedures- he's even said that he wishes he'd done that instead. And he thinks the CNRAs have a very sweet gig.

My advise is to research research research.

It's a tough career and med school is not the worst of it-- not at all.

Don't be afraid of the military stuff- great option for families. But again-- research it til you want to pull your hair out.

[Vanquisher]

If it was just medical school, then maybe I would have said it was worth it. If he thinks he would enjoy surgery or EM, then he should really, really, really heavily consider being a PA. PAs can assist in surgery and do a lot of minor procedures. PAs are the life force of a lot of ERs.

We really aren't trying to be discouraging or mean-spirited. My husband and I started medical school with a 2.5 year old. It was very hard on him and very hard on his father. We also had a daughter when my husband was in his last year of medical school, and we started his residency with her being an infant. It was brutal. It was not worth it. Whatever your dh's reasons are for going to medical school, and I am sure they are many and completely valid, he shouldn't dismiss other routes. Being a PA is a cheaper, easier (and not a cake-walk in its own rite), and more family friendly.

If all your dh can think about is being a doctor, and that is all he can see himself doing, then go for it, support him, and we'll be here to cheer you on and on the way. I am just going to tell you now though that all my dh ever wanted to be was a surgeon. Ever. From the time he can remember and ever since I've known him (15-years-old), he thought about and worked toward and did everything he could do to be a surgeon. He was a National Merit Finalist, he was our school's "Sterling Scholar" (aka king dork), he was president of the academic decathalon team, he was in 800 extra curriculars. In college he majored in Biology, worked as a health unit coordinator, volunteered, and had a kid and a wife. He rocked the hell out of his MCAT, but his GPA was just okay from a good school (he was very busy with the baby and a full-time job too). He got into one medical school. One. That's where we went. 2000+ miles from home. It was hard, but fine, doable. He matched at what we thought was a great residency, only it wasn't.

300,000+ dollars, 10 years (med school and residency only, doesn't include college), too many moves to count, a whole lot of stress and pain later, and NO WAY IN HELL would we do it over again. No way. The sacrifices and strain on our family was too great. It nearly killed us. Literally. We were so full of hope and love. We worked hard every day. It nearly caused divorce (and I love my husband more than anything); it caused severe bouts of depression in myself and in my son. What kind of job or money or prestige or career or anything is worth that? If we would have done med school again, he would have chosen a way different path than surgery (likely rads), but most likely he would have chosen a career in computers or PA school. We are a year out of training now. We are doing well. We live in a great house, our kids go to great schools, my dh loves his job as a surgeon, and everything is pretty great. It's life, but still great. My marriage is solid, my kids are making lots of friends, and we look like a great outcome. Truly happy. It was NOT worth it.

I'm really not trying to be mean. I hope you understand that this comes from a place of truth and concern from me, and I will not blow smoke up your ass.

I wish you and your DH all the luck in the world. Take it one step at a time and really consider if you are willing to take the toll on your marriage and your family.

[SoonerTexan]

I'm a relative baby on here, my DH is an MS3 (3rd year med student)

Ditto, but an MS2. So far, DH feels the same way as Crystal's husband--I cannot see him doing anything else and he truly loves it.

However, I don't know that we would go down the same path if he had started in a different career and decided to switch. I'm on board starting at 18 and being done by 32 (or 35 depending on the route), but if we were starting even at 25...I don't know.

[Deebs]

If your DH is sure he wants to go to medical school, is there any option for him staying where you are and going to school there? DH worked as a firefighter/paramedic through all of undergrad and two years of medical school. While we still have 6 figures of student loan debt, it's certainly less than we would have had if he hadn't worked for those six years. It also helped him to know how to get Outstanding grades (which is the goal) in his last two years of medical school. He knew how to push himself to the limits very well, and do what it takes to get the job done. I guess the reason I asked is this - as much as my DH loves his job (he wouldn't trade it for anything), now he's a medical director for many fire departments, and we both really miss that career! Plus, we miss the schedule. But, if he can't see himself doing anything else, he sounds bound for undergrad with the eventual goal of medical school.

[Chrisada]

I'm with Pollyanna in saying if you all want it, then go for it! Remember everyone's experience will be different. Some much more difficult than others. Med. school was hard for us because we were young and newly married with a baby. During med. school you will have to work, take out crazy private loans, or go the military route. It is what it is. We are now in our second year into residency and we have a very happy family. Life is good in all honesty.

[Cinderella]

I have no advice to offer just support if you need it.

and to the group!

[Thirteen]

I'm with Pollyanna in saying if you all want it, then go for it! Remember everyone's experience will be different. Some much more difficult than others. Med. school was hard for us because we were young and newly married with a baby. During med. school you will have to work, take out crazy private loans, or go the military route. It is what it is. We are now in our second year into residency and we have a very happy family. Life is good in all honesty.

I agree with this
Welcome to our site, and stick around so we can get to know you. There's so much knowledge and experience here - it's a real, working resource.

[diggitydot]

I say go for it, too. My dude was a non-trad who took forever to get his undergrad, but rocked his MCATs and med school. Ended up in his #1 choice for residency and is currently being recruited hard for two different and very good positions.

Being a non-trad isn't easy, but it isn't impossible, either.

[ladymoreta]

Welcome! So much good advice already. I agree, it sounds like his decision is made, so we're definitely here for you! It's a long path, but 25 isn't old, and he'll have a higher maturity level than his fellow students (especially undergrad), which will help.

My only advice is to start planning now for your kids at each phase. Your oldest will be 13 when your husband starts 3rd year of medical school. He will be mostly unavailable to help with the newly-minted teenager. Your youngest will probably be easier, but will enter the teenage years during residency, when your husband will be working even more than he was in medical school. If you end up in a city far from your families, get involved early with a solid group of married friends so you won't be doing it all alone.

[moonlight]

Since you mentioned it in a previous post, I'd caution you against Caribbean schools. Things aren't looking up for foreign grads since they're doing away with the possibility of a pre-match next year. You may think that's not important because your husband wouldn't have considered pre-matching anyway, but all the people who normally would've signed contracts outside the match are now all of a sudden competing with your husband for a spot. I'm really curious to see how this change will impact things, but it's a turning point, that's for sure.

Moreover, Caribbean schools are EXPENSIVE, and with few exceptions (SGU, Ross, and AUC), the loans are all private and with interest rates through the roof. I can't tell you how many students have had to scramble to secure financing after their current lender dropped them or when certain loan programs were completely discontinued. That's unnecessary stress on top of the stress of medical school. They are also quick to kick you out, unlike US schools, and in fact a large number of these schools function on the "weed out" principle. You always hope it won't be you, but somebody's got to fail. Their clinical spots aren't the best by a long shot, and they hang you out to dry when it comes to arranging electives. It's a hassle.

Oh, yeah, and you're at the bottom of the barrel when it comes to getting into residency. Do everything you can to avoid going this route.

AGREE! AGREE! AGREE! AGREE! AGREE! This was our exact experience.

With that said, I have a friend that started out exactly where your husband is today. He bridged into a AS Nursing Degree (got his RN and started working) then bridged into the BS Nursing Degree. He saved YEARS by doing it this way because at each step they kept giving him credit hours for work experience. He wasn't able to get into a US school (because I think they discriminate against students that go this route and are over 30. He attended Caribbean med school and matched in EM in his home state.

I would get online and strongly research all the universities your state and in the area that have BS to MD programs. If we had to it to do all over again we would have done that.