Available at 
Tweet
I've checked out this site for the past few days and it's been great to read what other are dealing with....it gives me some hope. However, I've been a little hesitant to post as don’t exactly fit the mold and I feel that I might be “jumping the gun” with my concerns. I’m a 26 year old engineer and my….girlfriend (not sure at this point what to call her) of only two months is a 26 year old 4th year med student getting ready to apply for residency.
I’m new to the game and I think I somewhat understand what I’m getting involved in. From the beginning she’s been upfront and honest about her schedule and concerns and what I could expect. Right now she is going through a difficult rotation which will be done on September 2nd, but in the last couple weeks she has expressed some pessimism and doubt as to whether she is ready to be in a relationship. I’m not sure if she is just stressed with the rotation as these comments always seem to creep up on a post-call day and then go away until the next post-call. Her typical sentiment is that she feels guilty about not being able physically or emotionally to give back to me the way I can give to her. I really don’t think with her it’s an issue of “do I want to be with him” but more “can I be with him” meaning can I be fair in this relationship, which I think she has been. I understand her feelings as I have dated in the past while working full-time and going back for an Engineering Masters’ (sometimes putting in 60 hour weeks, sometimes 80+ hours between work and school, not doctor’s hours but considerable). And I’m getting ready to start another quarter at school.
I really want to continue dating her as we have a great time together, even if she is usually tired/exhausted/drained. We were together in July during a light rotation and I do notice a difference, but the main issue is the stress and exhaustion associated with a bad schedule. During the light schedule she had no such concerns. I think she gives back considerably given her schedule, but I can’t seem to make her realize that I’m happy being with her and helping her out however I can and that she shouldn’t feel guilty. If I wasn’t happy, I would be gone already. I’m just wondering if there’s any advise out there for someone entering a new relationship with a med student….how to ease her guilt of not contributing as much as she would like to the relationship (sometimes I have difficulty dealing with it, but I know it comes in strides and I do deal with it), what I can do to be supportive and make her realize that I’m happy and want to be with her. Maybe she’s worried that I’ll be able to make it to residency, but not through residency. Is any of this valid concern for a two-month-old relationship?
Wow, sorry that was so long….Chapter 2 will be along shortly (kidding). I hope some of you made it all the way to my question and have some insight into my situation. I guess to be where you are now, you had to start somewhere. I look forward to any advice that will help me express my feelings to her, verbal or otherwise. Thanks.
Jason
I’m new to the game and I think I somewhat understand what I’m getting involved in. From the beginning she’s been upfront and honest about her schedule and concerns and what I could expect. Right now she is going through a difficult rotation which will be done on September 2nd, but in the last couple weeks she has expressed some pessimism and doubt as to whether she is ready to be in a relationship. I’m not sure if she is just stressed with the rotation as these comments always seem to creep up on a post-call day and then go away until the next post-call. Her typical sentiment is that she feels guilty about not being able physically or emotionally to give back to me the way I can give to her. I really don’t think with her it’s an issue of “do I want to be with him” but more “can I be with him” meaning can I be fair in this relationship, which I think she has been. I understand her feelings as I have dated in the past while working full-time and going back for an Engineering Masters’ (sometimes putting in 60 hour weeks, sometimes 80+ hours between work and school, not doctor’s hours but considerable). And I’m getting ready to start another quarter at school.
I really want to continue dating her as we have a great time together, even if she is usually tired/exhausted/drained. We were together in July during a light rotation and I do notice a difference, but the main issue is the stress and exhaustion associated with a bad schedule. During the light schedule she had no such concerns. I think she gives back considerably given her schedule, but I can’t seem to make her realize that I’m happy being with her and helping her out however I can and that she shouldn’t feel guilty. If I wasn’t happy, I would be gone already. I’m just wondering if there’s any advise out there for someone entering a new relationship with a med student….how to ease her guilt of not contributing as much as she would like to the relationship (sometimes I have difficulty dealing with it, but I know it comes in strides and I do deal with it), what I can do to be supportive and make her realize that I’m happy and want to be with her. Maybe she’s worried that I’ll be able to make it to residency, but not through residency. Is any of this valid concern for a two-month-old relationship?
Wow, sorry that was so long….Chapter 2 will be along shortly (kidding). I hope some of you made it all the way to my question and have some insight into my situation. I guess to be where you are now, you had to start somewhere. I look forward to any advice that will help me express my feelings to her, verbal or otherwise. Thanks.
Jason
Comment