Patient in love with my husband!

I have been trying to deal with a sticky situation that recently came to light- a patient announced that she is having sexual fantasies about my husband, her gastroenterologist. We are happily married and there has been absolutely no personal contact between them other than in the office. He has referred her to another doctor, and has documented all information to protect himself. She is very distraught and keeps calling the office. So far she has not called our house or showed up on our doorstep. What do I do? Besides being really annoyed, that is! Any suggestions?
Kathy

I can't imagine what this must be like for you, but it sounds to me like your husband has done all the right things so far. By maintaining only a professional relationship with her and referring her to a different physician, and I assume refusing to see her (?), she should get the hint. Documenting any encounters - in the office or via telephone - is also a great idea.

I would make sure to have your husband let her know the next time that she calls (or shows up) that you and he are seeking legal counsel at this time and have been advised to effect a restraining order against her (whether or not that's true!). If her "affections" persist, follow-up with your local police department and with an attorney. This is not something you should handle without advice of counsel, since if she ever starts crying malpractice, you will want to have supporting legal documentation indicating that this woman is not stable and that this has been an ongoing obsession for her.

This is not a situation to play around with, or even to take a "wait-and-see" approach with. If he has made his position clear to her repeatedly, then she is being disrespectful and downright sick by pursuing him. I'm no lawyer, but I say play this one close to the vest. It's cheaper to pay an attorney now than deal with inflated insurance premiums resulting from her false allegations later on down the line.

Good luck and keep us posted.
~Molly~

8O
Wow, Kathy!
My husband has dealt with a few comments (and one attempted hand-hold 8O ) from a hospitalized patient or two but that is as far as it ever went. We block all anonymous calls from our phone (so the caller has to have the number come up on caller ID) because I keep forgetting to unlist our number. No one has ever called us, though.

That's kind of creepy! It sounds like she is mentally unstable, perhaps?
You'll have to let us know what happens.

Nice to meet you and welcome to the boards. I'm Nellie, my husband will start a derm residency next July, and we have a 3 1/2 year old daughter and another on the way.

[PrincessFiona]

Kathy,

Welcome to the iMSN...

Wow...It sounds like a really tough situation. The patient sounds like she needs some type of psychiatric intevention. Hopefully the new GI guy will be able to send her to the appropriate doctor?

It sounds like your husband has done everything possible to protect himself...and the patient...by documenting and referring her out. What a really uncomfortable situation this must be! Is your home number/address unlisted?

I agree with Molly that your husband might want to seek out legal counsel...this sounds like something that might present a problem and a procative approach is definately the best.

In any case, I'm really sorry that you are going through this...it must be really stressful!!!

kris

One more word of advice...

While I understand that your husband's instinct, both as a medical professional and as (I assume ) a nice person, is to be kind and patient with her and just hope that she "gets it," please remember that she may interpret that courtesy as romantic interest. So his best approach at this point is probably to be as blunt with her as possible, even if it means being slightly rude. Letting her down "easy" won't help him at all, and it may even harm him if she turns this into a "he-said she-said" battle. Which, given these circumstances, she just might.

~Molly~

thanks for the advice

Thanks to you all for your help- it really is nice to talk to someone about this! We have talked to an MD/lawyer at the Board of Medical Licensing, who also told us to "fire" her as a patient (referring her to another MD) and to document all contact. We also talked to a psychiatrist friend who is planning to see her. SInce the "firing" office visit Monday, she has called the office 3 times, very teary, and has showed up at the office at the end of the day, supposedly to get info about the psych appointment. We do have a listed phone number (under my name) but it is not a big place here in Maine, so we are "findable" without much work.
My husband is a nice guy, and didn't want to read about her suicide in the paper, so I'm sure she thinks he cares. He won't be taking her calls anymore, as he has referred her to his (female) partner. I do think she is in need of psychiatric help, although appears normal and holds a job, also is married. She does have a psych appointment soon. It hasn't gotten to the point of a restraining order but if she shows up at our house that would be the next step.
Does anyone know what are the chances that she would or would not be helped by talking to a psychiatrist? Are there any medications that treat people like this? There really isn't a lot of information out there.
A friend who is a lawyer told me also that this is very serious and his career could be affected, that as fast as the love is turned on it can turn to hate and "pay back" for dumping her.
Thanks again, Kathy