Hi everyone!

This is my first time posting in a forum, so please bear with me if I don't know where to post! I am currently dating a soon-to-be MS4 (three weeks left in 3rd year!) and I am curious about the world of medical significant others. We have been dating for 2 years, and have been long distance the whole time. I am moving to his city in about a week, so this will soon be over!

My boyfriend is currently trying to decide on a specialty, and surgery is at the top of his list. I am really anxious about residency in general, but especially so if he chooses surgery. I hope that I can gain encouragement from all of you who have gone through this before!

[diggitydot]

Welcome!

[ladymoreta]

Welcome! I'm no help - I did a little happy dance when DH said he didn't want to do surgery. Lots of people on here are surgeons' spouses, so you'll get some great advice!

[Cinderella]

[Meenah]

Welcome, glad you found us.

[Vanquisher]

Surgery sucks. Overrated. Choose again, but better.

[ladymoreta]

Surgery sucks. Overrated. Choose again, but better.

Fact.

[ides]

I don't want to be Debbie downer but I'm still bitter from our surgical training. Run the other way!

Welcome!

[GreyhoundsRUs]

Another surgery spouse here...if he can picture himself doing anything else, do that Otherwise, welcome to the zoo!

[diggitydot]

I think our biggest public service is dissuading people from going into surgery.

Sorry, Willow. I know we sound super pessimistic, but it comes from not wanting others to have to endure the special kind of hell that is surgery. A shit ton of docs and their S/Os barely make it through that speciality with their relationship and mental health intact.

We're kind of freakishly honest. And some of us have a vocabulary that would make a longshoreman blush. (OK, mainly me.) Please don't let it scare you off.

[corn poffi]

Surgery sucks. Do not want.

Welcome!

[niener]

I guess I'm not far enough into the process to be as bitter as I should about surgery, but my DH would be miserable doing anything else so for the time being I'm glad to be married to a surgeon-in-training . Welcome!

[scrub-jay]

Welcome! I'm no help - I did a little happy dance when DH said he didn't want to do surgery. Lots of people on here are surgeons' spouses, so you'll get some great advice!

Word.

[weeniegeniewife]

Surgeon wife here. My DH was born to be a surgeon and he couldn't imagine doing anything else. I think all branches of medicine have their fair share of rants and raves, so whatever your SO chooses to, I wish him well. We are in the attending phase and have been for awhile, and surgery definitely does not suck for us.

Welcome to our site! There are some really awesome med spouses and SO's here who will give you loads of advice and support. Stick around and post often!

Thanks for responding! I've read a good bit about all of the specialties he's looking into (I'm a crazy planner) but I need some real responses from people. He's been talking to the residents at his program, and they seem to think it's not such a big deal with the 80 hour week in place, but I'm still super leery of anything surgical. I know that the residents may not think it's such a big deal, but I'll be experiencing it from a totally different perspective, and if he chooses this, I want to be prepared ahead of time. Thanks again for your insight!