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please advise!!

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  • please advise!!

    Hello!!! I hope everyone is having a great week

    My name is Nancy and I will soon be venturing into the life of being a spouse of a med student. I am very excited to say that we are moving from Michigan to California so that my fiancee can attend UC Irvine this fall. I was just wondering if everyone might be able to give a little advice for us. We (Andrew and I) are having an epic discussion on whether the military is the best route for us or if we should continue med school as civilians. I am of the belief that we should stay civilians, and he wants to join the military (in order to not have student debt and to serve his country). We are a very open and honest couple who work through all of our problems, but this is one that is stumping us. I dont have a lot of friends who can give me advice about what life is like when you're the spouse of a military doctor. I desperately would appreciate your advice on this and would love anyones thoughts, negative and positive! some questions that have been bothering me are:

    1. how dangerous is this?! is he going to be deployed? for how long? will i be a single mother for months on-end?
    2. will we have to move all over the country? can we pick where we go? what is the likelihood of us getting to move to our "choice"?
    3. what branch would be best to join if he did sign up?
    4. what is residency like in the military? does it pay more or less than civilian residencies? how are the hours?
    5. what is life like after residency for the 4 years that he must "pay back" in service?
    6. am i being too selfish by not wanting to do this?

    Again, please leave any comments. I am so grateful that this forum exists and that there are others out there that are in the same boat as I am. Thank you in advance! -Nancy

  • #2
    I don't have any advice regarding the military except that I wouldn't do it. There are plenty of military spouses who will chime in.

    Welcome, and look forward to getting to know you!

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    • #3
      should i post this in the ward section so people can see it more?

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      • #4
        We considered this route, too. Ultimately, we decided against the military. But my dude was entering med school smack in the middle of a couple wars, not when they were winding down. Completely different ball game.

        My best advice: If the military would be on the table even without all the med school debt looming, definitely consider it. I know several people who have great experiences and would do it again on a heartbeat. However, if it's only the looming med school debt that brings up the military, it might not be the best option.

        Med school is expensive. Do whatever works best for your family.
        Last edited by diggitydot; 06-04-2012, 09:18 PM.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by diggitydot View Post
          We considered this route, too. Ultimately, we decided against the military route. But my dude was entering med school smack in the middle of a couple wars, not when they were winding down. Completely different ball game.

          My best advice: If the military would be on the table even without all the med school don't looming, definitely consider it. I know several people who have great experiences and would do it again on a heart beat. However, if it's only the looming med school debt that brings up the military, it might not be the best option.

          Med school is expensive. Do whatever works best for your family.
          All of this. Well, except the considered it part...our circumstances allowed us to avoid debt without it (scholarship, employee benefits thanks to my job, etc.) and the military wouldn't suit my DH regardless.

          BTW, you might want to wait more than 10 minutes before worrying about too few responses, given that the time in the contiguous US is between 7 and 10pm right now.
          Last edited by spotty_dog; 06-04-2012, 09:17 PM.
          Alison

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          • #6
            No advice, but good luck and welcome!
            Veronica
            Mother of two ballerinas and one wild boy

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            • #7
              We did not consider the military because we knew DH was going to choose a residency that already required 7-8 years and didn't want to add a military commitment on top of that. That is one thing to consider, IMO.
              Wife to NSG out of training, mom to 2, 10 & 8, and a beagle with wings.

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              • #8
                This might've been our first post around here too. We opted out of it ultimately because the desire to serve didn't drive my DH. The pay was enticing, but it circled back to the lack of inherent drive to serve. We've got crazy debt, but we made the right decision. Don't do it *just* for the money.
                Wife to PGY4 & Mother of 3.

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                • #9
                  We went the MD/PhD route instead. I had to work all during med school, but we are coming out with just a house (with 14 years equity) and some consumer debt. But we've been in training for 14 years -- 9 years med school/phd + 3 years residency + 2 years fellowship.
                  Veronica
                  Mother of two ballerinas and one wild boy

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                  • #10
                    We considered this route and in fact my husband went through the application process and was offered the scholarship before we decided against it, ten years ago. He also had many years of prior service as a reservist including a deployment to Germany, and that's (partially) how he paid for his undergrad, so he had some knowledge of how the military works.

                    Anyway, I read him part of your post, and the first thing he said was "Make sure she knows that won't be a debt-free route, even though the recruiter might say that." Like your husband, mine went to a state school in a high cost of living area. (NYC in our case.) At least back in 2002, the HPSP would pay whatever your med school's tuition was no matter how high or low, but would only pay a fixed amount for your living costs. That fixed amount wouldn't cover him in NYC, so we still would have had to borrow some for living expenses, while the military picked up the relatively inexpensive tuition. As we crunched the numbers, the amount the military would covering for us during med school and residency was quite a bit less than we would be losing during the four years of payback. Although my husband enjoyed the military and continued on as a reservist for several more years, he was not willing to lose money to participate in the HPSP.

                    Definitely check into it, because like I said, this was ten years ago and lord knows lots has changed, but the "state school, high cost of living city" issue caught my eye. Definitely crunch all the numbers very carefully.

                    Best of luck to you in your decision!
                    Married to a hematopathologist seven years out of training.
                    Raising three girls, 11, 9, and 2.

                    “That was the thing about the world: it wasn't that things were harder than you thought they were going to be, it was that they were hard in ways that you didn't expect.”
                    Lev Grossman, The Magician King

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                    • #11
                      We didn't look into it because my DH was a FMG and from what little info we had at the time said that they military would not cover anything for Americans going to a foreign med school. Good luck, I know this is very stressful on you. Please let us know how things are going as you continue to look into it.
                      Wife to PGY5. Mommy to baby girl born 11/2009. Cat mommy since 2002
                      "“If you don't know where you are going any road can take you there”"

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                      • #12
                        First of all, if I'm reading your post correctly-- you are not married yet? That makes a big difference to the military in terms of the main perks-- health care and living allowance. My husband is military, but he went to the military med school so it's a little but different than the hpsp route. Namely the payback is longer and the pay benefits are better. But we will leave with some consumer debt and facing a LONG payback.

                        This question comes up a lot. I won't be at a computer for a while so my iphone response is very lacking, but I'd encourage you to look through posts in the military spouse sub forum in this site. Just search out hpsp-- it really comes up a lot!! Of course we all are happy to answer questions---

                        I will say that the people who are satisfied in general with their decision to sign up with the military are those who were always interested in being in the military even before considering the staggering amounts of debt. My dh was interested in the military as a kid, wanted to enlist out of high school but got talked into going straight to college, and even then the decision to go military was very very tough. We are happy with the decision ultimately, but it's not for everyone!!
                        Peggy

                        Aloha from paradise! And the other side of training!

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                        • #13
                          My DH is a military doc, and I promise to respond to your post at a later time. Short version for us is that we are looking forward to commitment being over in two years. We just completed a cross country move (2nd in two years). Deployment is definitely possible (one of my biggest fears). Anyway, sorry this is short, I'll provide more details sometime tomorrow!
                          Wife to a urologist; Mom to 2 wonderful kiddos

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                          • #14
                            Ok, I'm back! First of all, I see that you are engaged - are you getting married soon? I'm assuming that you'll be married by the time your fiancé graduates med school. Otherwise, yes, many benefits of the military will not be afforded to you. I'm also assuming that you are considering HPSP. Does your DF have an idea of what specialty he might go into? That could make a difference. I would not necessarily make the decision solely on eliminating med school debt. If he wants to serve, that's one thing, but often, military docs don't get paid as much as they could in private practice (again depending on specialty). It's possible that he could make more $ in private practice making student loan repayment not as daunting.


                            1. how dangerous is this?! is he going to be deployed? for how long? will i be a single mother for months on-end?

                            He could very well be deployed. I'm knocking on wood that my DH won't be, but I am well aware that it is a distinct possibility and it scares the crap out of me. Deployments are usually 5-6 months, from what I've seen. My DH actually got sent to Guam to backfill a spot for a month - the military can do whatever they want.

                            2. will we have to move all over the country? can we pick where we go? what is the likelihood of us getting to move to our "choice"?

                            Yes. No. Low. You can often submit a preference list on locations, but it all comes down to the needs of the military. They will put you where they want. They can break your orders and move you before the billet is up. This happened to us. Not cool to move across the country with a toddler and being 8 months pregnant. Pretty sure it sent me into preterm labor (fortunately it was stopped).

                            3. what branch would be best to join if he did sign up?

                            I guess this is personal preference. My DH is navy. There are some differences among the branches. The Navy can break up residency training with a GMO tour (often overseas). I encourage you to research this stuff because it gets complicated. There is a military forum on studentdoctor.net.

                            4. what is residency like in the military? does it pay more or less than civilian residencies? how are the hours?

                            My DH got a full deferment to do a civilian residency. Best thing ever for us. Military residencies pay more, but can tack on repayment time. Hours may be better in the military, but depending on the specialty, you may get better training (more experience) at a civilian residency.

                            5. what is life like after residency for the 4 years that he must "pay back" in service?

                            First 2 years for us were fine. In urology, military docs don't get paid as much as civilian, but it was still a huge pay increase from residency so we were happy. We were also living in So. Cal and loving it. Then, we got the news that they were breaking our orders and moving us. Our pay has gone down in our new location due to lower BAH (housing allowance), but our rent isn't that much lower. Also, while I like my husband's light schedule in the military, I know he would prefer to be a bit busier doing more interesting cases.

                            6. am i being too selfish by not wanting to do this?

                            No. It is a huge deal, one that must be thoroughly researched before committing to. There are benefits to being in the military for sure, but it definitely requires lots of sacrifice.

                            Keep those questions coming, and tell your DF to start asking nitty-gritty questions on studentdoctor.net. Feel free to PM me - I'm happy to help (the only reason i wouldn't respond is if I'm in labor, which could happen soon) Good luck!
                            Wife to a urologist; Mom to 2 wonderful kiddos

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                            • #15
                              We are Army. A main difference btwn army and navy is that most residents in the navy need to do a GMO (flight surgery) tour for 2 years after intern year of residency and before beginning residency. This cuts right into training, and can be a major PITA.

                              Before you get caught up in questions about deployment, residency, payback, etc, I would really encourage you and your fiancée to look at why you are thinking military HPSP. it really usually comes down to either having a burning desire to serve (my husband said that if he didn't go to the military med school he would have for residency, or later in his career-- he was quite firm that he wanted to serve). So if this is part of your DFs ultimate plan, and not just an idea of How To Make Med School Less Painful, that should be the focus at this point.

                              We have truly had excellent discussions here on this site-- when I was in your shoes 12 years ago I looked at student doctor for military info and was pretty much scared out of my mind. They are a little... Over the top at that forum IMHO.

                              And dh and I were just talking about this at breakfast (we r househunting so bf together!!! Yay!!) and we agree that even within one residency program at one training hospital, the experiences of one resident vs another can be vastly vastly different. Generalizations have their place, but this is a highly individualized decision with very real and lasting implications.
                              Peggy

                              Aloha from paradise! And the other side of training!

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