My partner and I are both women...anyone else??

[MsSassyBaskets]

Welcome!

[GreyhoundsRUs]

Hi! I don't know if we have any gay or lesbian members. Some people refer to their "SO" (significant other) as versus a "DH" (doctor-husband) or "DW" (doctor-wife). Not everyone defines their relationship. But, I think it is pretty safe to say that most of us are not in homosexual relationships. But, hopefully, you will still find lots in common with us! While I am sure that there are many issues unique to being in a lesbian relationship that maybe straight folks can't relate to, there are also many issues that are common to anyone supporting a medical spouse/partner, regardless of sexual orientation, that partners of non-doctors just can't relate to. Your gay and lesbian non-doctor friends just aren't going to "get" call schedules, but us straight folks here will know right where you're coming from! We physician-partner/spouses need to stick together!

Couldn't have said it better myself! I know a few lesbian friends who have a partner in medicine, and they are part of their local "medical spouses" groups (and are pretty active)! Stick around - we get it!

[MissCrabette]

Welcome!

[Thirteen]

Welcome to our site!


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[Cinderella]

and

[L.Jane]

Welcome! Jump in and join the conversations!

[Liisi]

Wow, thanks for all the welcomes!!! This is quite the active forum! I look forward to checking out the other discussions happening...

TulipsAndSunscreen (great user name, even if I don't know the story behind it), my partner and I met online, believe it or not! And not intentionally, i.e. not through a dating site - we were both members of a health-related message board and noticed we had a lot in common, so we started emailing. After a month or two of emailing every single day, we met in person for a picnic and a hike - and were so enthralled by our conversation that we unintentionally walked for HOURS without realizing it, then both went home exhausted! We kept emailing daily, and what's really touching to me now, looking back, is that she emailed me every single day for 3 months while finishing her residency. It means a lot to me that she made that time for me every day, despite being right in the thick of an incredibly busy phase of her life. That right there should have been an indication of her feelings for me, but we were both a little slow to realize that we were actually falling in love. Once residency ended, we spent even more time together for things like lunch, art museum visits, walks in the woods...and our feelings for each other just grew and grew. She was the only graduating resident in her program to not have a job or fellowship lined up immediately after residency, by choice - the other residents all thought she was crazy for it, but I was thrilled, because it meant we got to spend a lot of time together before she started working again.

As for what I do...I spent 15 years working with young children and got very burnt out. So when my partner and I met, I was doing multiple odd jobs, part-time, while trying to figure out what to do next. I was always looking for more work/hours, feeling a little lost and unfulfilled. But I recently made the decision, with my partner's support, to stop looking for more work and instead spend 25% of my time doing paid work (part time admin. assistant position), 25% of my time doing volunteer work and activism, and 50% of my time on all of the household duties my partner rarely has time for - cooking, cleaning, errands, taking care of our dog, etc! I'm calling myself an Activist Housewife. And it feels very strange... I never imagined myself as a housewife!! Nor did I ever imagine I'd be so financially dependent on a partner - in fact, before I met my partner, I was NOT looking for a relationship and was rather looking forward to a life of being single and independent. Love has a way of hitting you over the head when you least expect it, right? It feels strange to my partner, too - to have a "wife" who's home cooking her meals and doing her laundry... not what she expected, either. She had envisioned marrying a man with a career of his own!! So, it will take some getting used to! There's no real "model" for us to follow - we're making it up as we go. And despite the difficulties of her workload and schedule, what's important is that we're so happy to be together, we treat each other with such kindness and caring and communicate openly and well, and I feel like the luckiest woman ever to be experiencing a love this strong. We'll make it work!!!

[medpedspouse]

50% of my time on all of the household duties my partner rarely has time for - cooking, cleaning, errands, taking care of our dog, etc! I'm calling myself an Activist Housewife. And it feels very strange... I never imagined myself as a housewife!! Nor did I ever imagine I'd be so financially dependent on a partner ..... It feels strange to my partner, too - to have a "wife" who's home cooking her meals and doing her laundry... not what she expected, either.

This made me grin - I could have typed that a couple of years ago when I quit my career to stay at home. DH said he gave me ten days before he thought I would either go on meds OR find another job. I stuck it out for about a year and then began working part time. Now that I am back FT working in my field, I think DH is missing the days when I took care of everything and fed him gourmet meals.

BTW - Welcome to our group! As someone said, a medical spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/significant other - even just friend or roommate will always face similar challenges when caring about /loving the dawkter.

[diggitydot]

I'm calling myself an Activist Housewife.

Totally stealing this.

And it feels very strange... I never imagined myself as a housewife!! Nor did I ever imagine I'd be so financially dependent on a partner - in fact, before I met my partner, I was NOT looking for a relationship and was rather looking forward to a life of being single and independent.

You're in good company. A LOT of us have found ourselves in this sitch. Myself, included.

[MrsK]

Yup. I became a SAHM about a year ago and I'm still adjusting to the feeling of financial dependence. I think your arrangement with PT work and PT activism sounds great! What sort of work and activism do you do?

[v-girl]

Welcome!

[Vanquisher]

Welcome!!!

[Pollyanna]

[houseelf]

Hi!

[niener]

I aspire to be an Activist Housewife someday

Welcome!!