Introduction/Desperate Cry for Information

[MrsK]

We get it. I was very established and successful in my career before residency upended my life. Medical training is a bitch. Don't put your life/happiness on hold for training. As moonlight says, "bloom where you are planted." Try to cultivate your interests outside of your work. You discover surprising and wonderful things in your present environment and make more friends. Every word you wrote articulated thoughts I've had and that people have shared here over and over. You are not alone. You've come to the right place.

[ides]

Welcome. We just finished training and although I'm not in a location I ever thought I would be (also a desire for Seattle or Portland) I am finding that I like where we found "the job". You really have to be flexibile and go where the right job is. That said shoot for your prefered local!

Medicine has made me bitter and I suffered through a job that sounds a lot like yours for five years of medical school. In that time though I did find things to sustain me. Hang in there. Post often. We do get it.

[houseelf]

I think you'll find that we speak your language here. Welcome.

[Cinderella]

I found post training to be way better than the training years but that was in another country. Now we're in a similar situation as yourselves, but doing this a second time in my home country. My brother travels all over the United States to various private doctors offices. He used to install software for different companies but now he's landed a cush job with the federal government doing a similar thing but also involving larger hosptials. He says that he sees it seems OB-GYNs are the most needed in the States including in Seattle. He's gone back to sites several times with periods of six months to a year having passed and those OB-GYN positions are still open. I hope that helps assure you that you'll be alright. I also hope that you stick around and post often to let us know how it goes for you all when you get to that step in the medical journey.

Everything you feel is beyond normal being Married to Medicine. Our spouses have chosen to do amazing things with their careers and the effects of their care is boundless, and as long as you can understand that then your support will prove invaluable. This is the time to find a positive outlet that will grow you guys together instead of apart. Intern year was insane as my Husband did Surgery. You wanna know those stats? 1% of marriages make it through. That said I can relate to your feelings. It will get so much better.

The best thing I did to get through, and now we're 20 months and counting to go, is be the positive One. Exercise is also key. Find an outlet that builds you up, and stop looking in a place that you already know wont make you feel better about your situation. I've found that a lot of spouses use their partners residency as think tanks, a time to re evaluate their own situations, start an online business, invent something simple but lucrative, or volunteer doing something they love because usually the career focus is on your partners not yours. So just do what you can to learn how to maintain your marriage, and rise above the negative feelings in a positive way. Also if you know you want to get back to the PNW help your spouse network, and you make connecs for her as well in that area to guarantee opportunities for a future position there. Browse open positions now see what they're offering and make realistic expectations based off that. Seattle/Bellevue/and the surroundig areas are huge. I'd think it will probably be a smooth transition to her finding a job there.

[poky]

Hi, Jessica23! Why don't you start your own introduction thread and tell us about yourself?

[diggitydot]

I% of medical marriages make it or 1% of surgical training marriages make it during PGY1? Either way, that sounds like a pretty iffy stat. Where did you find that?

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

That can't be right re: 1% unless our site is a total outlier. We have a big enough N of surgical spouses that say that it's higher than 1%.

Anyway, doesn't matter, welcome Jessica, start your own intro thread!

[corn poffi]

1%? That's interesting seeing how zero of our GS graduates from the last five years are divorced. And none of our current residents either. I think there have even been studies published that say the divorce rate isn't all that different from the general public.

[corn poffi]

Welcome to the OP! We are still in training, so I can't speak as to life post-training, but this is a great group for support! We know how you're feeling.

[SuzySunshine]

No way that 1% is true, almost all of our friends in residency were surgical and none of them are divorced.

[GreyhoundsRUs]

Welcome, 747. We have no PNW knowledge, but good luck with the job hunt! We get it - so post often Besides being from Seattle, what do you like about it? Have you thought about your "backup" list?

[houseelf]

ITA with this statistic being incorrect. Now the homicide rate of of surgical spouses might be higher.

[niener]

Now, there very well might be one or two programs somewhere with absolutely horrid divorce statistics in the 90th percentile, but those would be unique.

I know of a surgical program that at one time boasted a divorce rate among active residents of over 100%. As in, one or more of their residents had divorced twice since the start of residency. It was impressive, and they were a little bit proud of it I think. But that's definitely not the norm . Surgery has a slightly higher rate than some other fields of medicine but it's still not far off the general population I believe.

[GreyhoundsRUs]

ITA with this statistic being incorrect. Now the homicide rate of of surgical spouses might be higher.

Hehe