Options after PGY-1

[Thirteen]

Yikes!

Residency, regardless of speciality, is exceedingly hard on individuals and families.
I firmly believe counseling (and maybe drug therapy as well) can help immensely with certain situations.

I know it is less than favorable to work from home, take care of children, etc., instead of working elsewhere, but your contribution is so valued and helpful. Seriously.
Training is often about survival, one day at a time. Like a popular poster here once said: "First, put on your oxygen mask, and then help others with theirs."

What do you need to do for yourself? What does your spouse need to do for herself? Then, how can you help each other and your child?

It is not uncommon for the first year to hear "I just want to quit!" from your spouse.
I urge you to hear her, support her in any way you can, but firmly suggest she persevere. Quitting can cause more problems later on, for future positions.



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[SoonerTexan]

Have you considered childcare? I have a hard time working from home with my toddler just a few times a year. I cant imagine doing it full time. That might take pressure off both of you.

[Vabsmith]

I'm glad you are in couples counseling, and I hope she is able to stick out the residency. Welcome back!

We did counseling when my wife was on leave of absence but no more. I noticed that my wife would not take it as seriously as I did. If shes asks for it again we would certainly go for more counseling.

[Vabsmith]

Have you considered childcare? I have a hard time working from home with my toddler just a few times a year. I cant imagine doing it full time. That might take pressure off both of you.

Yes our son was going to a big daycare for almost five months but used to fall sick all the time and so we stopped that. Now I want to try childcare again preferably in a home based smaller setting with less chance of infections.

[Vabsmith]

Like a popular poster here once said: "First, put on your oxygen mask, and then help others with theirs."

What do you need to do for yourself? What does your spouse need to do for herself? Then, how can you help each other and your child?

Well said!

[Curegirl]

Welcome back, although I wish it were under better circumstances. The other ladies can offer more insight into your question but I just wanted to swing by and wish you luck anyway. Relationships are hard but you can get through it!

[Vabsmith]

Welcome back, although I wish it were under better circumstances. The other ladies can offer more insight into your question but I just wanted to swing by and wish you luck anyway. Relationships are hard but you can get through it!

Thanks!

[GrayMatterWife]

Yeah, if she wants to survive residency, she'll have to toughen up and do shit for herself.

There is NO REASON for you to write any of her patient notes. Ever. It's a violation of federal patient privacy laws.

This.

I drop off/pick up DH all the time. We live close, but it saves him a ton of time because he doesn't have to park and walk, and it saves on gas/wear on the car. And it's no skin off my nose. It's on the way to dropping off the kids at school. And we enjoy the time together. But, if you don't want to, don't. You're not her mommy.

submissive/compulsive + passive aggressive sounds like a problematic dynamic. I am glad that you guys are aware of your personalities and are working on it.

After one year, she usually can be what is often (and mostly derogatorily) referred to as a "doc in the box." Or do locum tenems. There will be little respect, little pay and little stability in either of the paths. I would tough it out for another two years and finish residency.

[AmeliePoulain]

My husband is 2nd year IM so I can understand. There was a point were he thought he wanted to quit, although not to the point of making other plans. It will get better. Quitting is the easy thing to do but I believe she will regret it in the long run. My husband's stress level is nothing compared to last year, by the way. Counseling helps, I'm glad you are both working it out. It also helps talking to others who have been through it, so you have come to the right place