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Hi :) New Here!!

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  • Hi :) New Here!!

    Hi fellow medical spouses! I had a breakthrough today in which I decided I was finally determined to find a participatory community full of people to whom I could relate. I've been looking for a forum and website dedicated to those of us navigating this challenging, sometimes exciting, ALWAYS busy path. I am the wife of an M-1 and we were newlyweds until he started his first year We got married last year, enjoyed it blissfully for about 8 weeks, and then packed up everything to move to an entirely new city. As I'm sure most of you can relate to, I've had to find a new job, new friends, my own way around, and a sense of "settling in" here in a place that's not our hometown. It's been seven months and it has only gotten marginally easier. The beginning was...bleak. And sad. And so lonely. It's better now, but still hard. That's why I performed an exhaustive Google search that lead me here and to all of you!

    I am hoping this outlet will allow me a place to vent, relate to others, find common ground, and connect with people who are in the same boat as I am, or have been here. It's been hard to cope on my own with the difficulty from transitioning to medical school life to what I know refer to as "our former life". I am working on trying to overcome the feelings of negativity and hopelessness that I've found comes with this massive change and the start of this exhausting journey. Being the "passenger" or the "tagalong" (as I've been referred to) is a challenge in and of itself. I am also hoping some of the veteran medical spouses can answer the age old, always important question new newbies have: "does it REALLY get better?"
    Wife, support system, and partner-in-crime to PGY-3 (IM) and spoiler of our 11 y/o yellow lab

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  • #2
    Hello, and welcome! I had to smile at your username; it's what we called the football team at my undergrad.
    Married to a peds surgeon attending

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    • #3
      That's where my username comes from! It's actually not MY undergrad (my school was the Pirates), but my husband's undergraduate university. Also the university housed in my hometown in NC and I was raised a Wolfpack fan from birth so...it's in my blood
      Wife, support system, and partner-in-crime to PGY-3 (IM) and spoiler of our 11 y/o yellow lab

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      • #4
        Welcome! We got married two weeks before med school began.
        Finally - we are finished with training! Hello real world!!

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        • #5
          Welcome to the medical crapfest. We speak your language around here. Feel free to come and vent away when shit goes sideways.

          We get it.

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          • #6
            Welcome! You've found the right place!
            Wife to PGY4 & Mother of 3.

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            • #7
              Welcome!

              (I was a Pirate in high school too!)
              Veronica
              Mother of two ballerinas and one wild boy

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              • #8
                Welcome! You've definitely come to the right place. I wish I'd found this site back in medical school. I joined in my husband's intern year, and it helped so much!

                I'll cautiously say that it usually gets better. There will be periods in medical school, residency, and attendinghood that are wonderful and periods that suck. We are in our first year out of residency, and while we're up to our eyeballs in debt, life is really good right now. Hang in there and post often! Looking forward to getting to know you!
                Laurie
                My team: DH (anesthesiologist), DS (9), DD (8)

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                • #9
                  My husband and I were married 100 days when we moved/started residency. Five years and 2 babies later, we are nearing the end of training. Hope the light at the end of tunnel is not an on coming train. You've come to the right place.
                  Wife and #1 Fan of Attending Adult & Geriatric Psychiatrist.

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                  • #10
                    Thanks to all of you! I'm already feeling like I've found "the right place". It's refreshing and makes me feel hopeful--something I don't feel very often these days (yes, I can be such a downer. But this is really hard sometimes!)
                    Wife, support system, and partner-in-crime to PGY-3 (IM) and spoiler of our 11 y/o yellow lab

                    sigpic

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                    • #11
                      If you're comfortable sharing, what kind of work do you do? How are you liking your new city? Is your husband leaning towards selecting a specialty?
                      Laurie
                      My team: DH (anesthesiologist), DS (9), DD (8)

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                      • #12
                        Welcome! I had a very short period of "newly wedded bliss" before residency started...so I feel your pain!

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                        • #13
                          Welcome! I'm a fellow med school spouse - we got married last summer in between 1st and 2nd years. You've definitely found the right place. Stick around and get to know us!
                          Wife of PGY-4 (of 6), cat herder, and mom to a sassy-pants four-nager.

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                          • #14
                            I actually just started a different thread about this stuff in the "Grand Rounds" section--I didn't know if this was the right place to start sharing that stuff!

                            I readily admit I HATED our city at first. Not because it was awful (I know people who've gone to and come from way more boring and isolated places for medical school), but because I resented why were here. I was angry at the thought of all we had to leave behind (a great house, all of our family and friends, my career, being a resident of a state that allowed me to pay in-state tuition for my graduate program) for his betterment--not mine. I struggled (and do still) with feelings of inadequacy because this move wasn't beneficial for my career, only his. Things are better now!

                            I originally was working from home for the job I left in our hometown and did that for about 6 months. That wasn't such a great move--I was isolating myself. About two months ago I found a job actually in the school of medicine, working with the director of a department here editing journal submissions and grant proposals and marketing material. I am finishing up my master's degree in English--emphasis on Technical and Professional Communication. This new job will help my career...but not in the way my old job would have. Still, it gets me out and working with other people face-to-face.

                            My husband is seriously leaning towards Cardiology. He absolutely loves it and seems to have a real affinity for it. He is striving to match to the program at the hospital we both formerly worked for in the Raleigh area of NC. They have a great internal medicine residency program and he's got a lot of connections there form working in the cardiology department before leaving for school so I am really, REALLY hoping he'll match back to our hometown area (we've got a lot of great hospitals around the area and in NC in general). What are some the spousal specialties around here?
                            Wife, support system, and partner-in-crime to PGY-3 (IM) and spoiler of our 11 y/o yellow lab

                            sigpic

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                            • #15
                              Don't set your sights on any specific location for residency. One thing you can count on is that you can't count on anything. Shit changes, sometimes abruptly, and making any kind of plans for training only sets you up for disappointment.

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