Hi :) New Here!!

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

We're in "The Triangle" for residency. We LOVE it! My DH is a Urologist and finishing up intern year (3 more months!).

[L.Jane]

welcome! My DH and I had been dating 7 months when he packed up and left for residency. Its a roller coaster in the medical life. You have found the right place.

[WolfpackWife]

Don't set your sights on any specific location for residency. One thing you can count on is that you can't count on anything. Shit changes, sometimes abruptly, and making any kind of plans for training only sets you up for disappointment.

That's been a huge concern of mine, because I have set myself up for that already. Thinking "we'll get back to NC for residency" has helped me cope with how sad I've been here. I know it's foolish, and it's something I've got to work on because I don't want to be devastated if it doesn't happen and I am right back where I was/am when we started med school...

[WolfpackWife]

We're in "The Triangle" for residency. We LOVE it! My DH is a Urologist and finishing up intern year (3 more months!).

I'm so jealous!!

I hope you are enjoying it...it's the best place on earth (biased opinion of an NC native). We're only 3 hours north in VA, but god I miss it!!

[diggitydot]

That's been a huge concern of mine, because I have set myself up for that already. Thinking "we'll get back to NC for residency" has helped me cope with how sad I've been here. I know it's foolish, and it's something I've got to work on because I don't want to be devastated if it doesn't happen and I am right back where I was/am when we started med school...

There are sooo many things that are beyond your control in this lifestyle. Try not to obsess. There are a ton of peeps around here who ended up during training or post-training in areas where they'd never dreamed of living and discovered that they LOVE their new digs.

You can handle anything when you know there's an end date. Med school blows, but it ends. Training blows, but it ends (eventually).

[Curegirl]

Welcome! And I totally agree with all of the above. Any time I've tried to plan anything-dates, etc, it all goes to hell so learning how to just let things roll.

[poky]

That's been a huge concern of mine, because I have set myself up for that already. Thinking "we'll get back to NC for residency" has helped me cope with how sad I've been here. I know it's foolish, and it's something I've got to work on because I don't want to be devastated if it doesn't happen and I am right back where I was/am when we started med school...

Welcome! Definitely keep telling yourself that nothing's for sure, and train yourself to be OK with moving just about anywhere for residency; the match is a bitch, and you may not get what you WANT, but it'll work out eventually even if you don't. Four years is a long time, and things can change between now and then, and then again during residency, too. Try to embrace the adventure! We moved across the country for med school, and didn't have the chance to move back for residency, but are still hopeful that we can move back once we're done with training...but we're also realizing that it's what you make of it, and we can make a go of it just about anywhere as long as we're together. So we're not SET on getting back (the *main* reason we'd want to is ageing parents, now).

You've definitely come to the right place.

[niener]

Welcome! I went to a C-USA school too so I know the Pirates. I was/am a Blazer

I 100% agree with getting used to having no control otherwise the whole match process will seriously throw you for a loop. We didn't end up anywhere close to where we anticipated but so far it's working out quite well. And as for the light at the end of the tunnel, I honestly can't tell you if it's there or not because we're about in the middle of the tunnel and can't see either end at this point. Any light I can see right now is fluorescent.

[Meenah]

Welcome,glad you found us. There is a reason there are so many members here out of training. Medical life is a roller coaster and you have to learn how to hang on and find a way to enjoy the ride!!!!

[civilspouse]

That's been a huge concern of mine, because I have set myself up for that already. Thinking "we'll get back to NC for residency" has helped me cope with how sad I've been here. I know it's foolish, and it's something I've got to work on because I don't want to be devastated if it doesn't happen and I am right back where I was/am when we started med school...

We moved across the country for med school and I had a tough time the first year. Things got better though. I had to work on not blaming DH for moving us so far away for his career. I knew what he wanted to do when we got married and this is our life together. I chose to move when I chose to marry him. Although it isn't what I dreamed of, living close to family, a husband who is home in the evenings and on the weekends, it is the life we are building together and that's what's important. We don't love our location, but our day to day life is good and that's what we try to concentrate on. I would still like to move back to the West for residency, but we were discussing it last night and DH pointed out it's not good for me to keep having this fantasy about moving home and being unhappy with where we are at. I am working on keeping an open mind. Now that we are approaching the move for residency next year and it's becoming more of a possibility I am less excited about moving closer to home or anywhere for that matter. We have established a life here and it will be tough to start over somewhere new. We've been here six years now and I've also found that you can't really ever go back. Things have changed back home and although I would love to be closer to family (parents, siblings, etc) the people who are most important (DH and DS) are right here with me so there is no where else I'd rather be.

[diggitydot]

That old adage "you can never go home again" is kind of dead-on. Even when you go home, it's not the same as it was before you left.

We initially REALLY wanted to return to the PNW. When it came time to do so, we found that we REALLY wanted to stay.

Things change.

[WolfpackWife]

Welcome to the Hellmouth, sister!

Yikes...I sheepishly admit that now I'm sort of regretting signing up for this whole thing in the first place. I don't want to go so far as to say I regret my entire marriage but...maybe I shouldn't have been so gung-ho about "follow your medicine dreams!!" Hahaha...wow. If that's reality I think it's time for a regular dose of Xanax.

[WolfpackWife]

2.5 mgs will keep you loose but not sleepy.

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Could you elaborate a bit on what you've experienced to make you so bitter? I worry that I have the emotional and mental make up to be more of the bitter type than the enjoy-this-for-what-it-is type, although I try really hard not to be bitter and obsess over what has been and no longer is in our lives.

[Pollyanna]

2.5 mgs will keep you loose but not sleepy.

NC and especially the triangle is very VERY saturated with drs. You can probably find a job in a place like Boone. But it will be damned hard to get back there and anyone who tells you otherwise is blowing smoke up your you know what.

Yes, that is a crazy saturated area of the country. If you really want to get back there then your hubby needs to start planning now. He needs to pick a specialty that is in low supply in that area at the very least. The theory that you can go anywhere you want if you have an MD doesn't really hold true.

[MsSassyBaskets]

Could you elaborate a bit on what you've experienced to make you so bitter? I worry that I have the emotional and mental make up to be more of the bitter type than the enjoy-this-for-what-it-is type, although I try really hard not to be bitter and obsess over what has been and no longer is in our lives.

Wolfpack, I can't speak for LSW but I can say, you've found us at the right time -- as in, early enough to make an impact on what specialty and training path your DH chooses.

My DH, while who knows, he might end up being good at carpentry and mechanics (surgery), loves his quality of life too much to ever become a surgeon. He enjoys cooking dinner and occasionally being a "Target partner." We're early in training, and we've had the "surgery is not a sustainable lifestyle for us" talk. We've also had the "I know you love kids, but I make a nonprofit salary and one of us has to pay off your loans" talk. Listen and learn to what other spouses experiences have been with various specialties and training paths -- and pass that information on to your DH so that he can make an informed decision about what he's doing to BOTH OF YOU.