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Hi Everyone!
My name is Chrystal, and I am a recent transplant to the Chicago area from TN. I got married in October, and moved to join my husband who was then in his first year of general surgery residency. He just started year two. Tonight is his first 24+ hour call shift. He's scared. Me too!
In Tennessee, I was successfully building a career. I was active in pastoral ministry. I had published my first book and was promoting it regionally. I was surrounded by friends and family. And my DH pursued me...our old-fashioned courtship spanned two years, survived audition rotations and a cross-country move. We were both strong, determined individuals who decided we wanted nothing more than to be together. I was so excited about the life we were beginning...
But it's been so hard. No honeymoon period for us...he was able to take three days off for our wedding. One day to fly back to TN, one for us to get married, one to pack up the car and bring me back with him to Chicago. Our first year together has been overshadowed by the demands of residency. And for the first six months, I wasn't sure the stressed out, angry, selfish resident I was married to was the same loving, attentive, protective man I'd known before. I felt like I left everything--career, church, family, and in some ways, my identity--for someone who would never understand or value my sacrifice. I now understand that this is what marriage requires...a willingness to give of oneself to be better together. I know that we love each other. I've got his back. And we've grown to the place that we are determined to face life (and residency) together, no matter what it brings. Things are better...we're learning to think like a team and to take advantage of whatever time we have together.
And I'm starting over. New career. Trying to find a church and make new friends. Rediscovering who I am. So many questions, and fears, and worries. I am glad to have found a community here of people who know this lifestyle, who just get it. I read your posts, and at least for those moments, feel like I'm not so alone. There are days when I don't think I'm strong enough for this. When I'm missing home. When my mind begins to wonder. But I pray. And I remember how much my DH loves me (even if he's too busy to call to tell me). And I remind myself that many, many others have survived residency, and that we're gonna be ok.
All advice and encouragement is welcomed and appreciated! I look forward to connecting with you guys.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
My name is Chrystal, and I am a recent transplant to the Chicago area from TN. I got married in October, and moved to join my husband who was then in his first year of general surgery residency. He just started year two. Tonight is his first 24+ hour call shift. He's scared. Me too!
In Tennessee, I was successfully building a career. I was active in pastoral ministry. I had published my first book and was promoting it regionally. I was surrounded by friends and family. And my DH pursued me...our old-fashioned courtship spanned two years, survived audition rotations and a cross-country move. We were both strong, determined individuals who decided we wanted nothing more than to be together. I was so excited about the life we were beginning...
But it's been so hard. No honeymoon period for us...he was able to take three days off for our wedding. One day to fly back to TN, one for us to get married, one to pack up the car and bring me back with him to Chicago. Our first year together has been overshadowed by the demands of residency. And for the first six months, I wasn't sure the stressed out, angry, selfish resident I was married to was the same loving, attentive, protective man I'd known before. I felt like I left everything--career, church, family, and in some ways, my identity--for someone who would never understand or value my sacrifice. I now understand that this is what marriage requires...a willingness to give of oneself to be better together. I know that we love each other. I've got his back. And we've grown to the place that we are determined to face life (and residency) together, no matter what it brings. Things are better...we're learning to think like a team and to take advantage of whatever time we have together.
And I'm starting over. New career. Trying to find a church and make new friends. Rediscovering who I am. So many questions, and fears, and worries. I am glad to have found a community here of people who know this lifestyle, who just get it. I read your posts, and at least for those moments, feel like I'm not so alone. There are days when I don't think I'm strong enough for this. When I'm missing home. When my mind begins to wonder. But I pray. And I remember how much my DH loves me (even if he's too busy to call to tell me). And I remind myself that many, many others have survived residency, and that we're gonna be ok.
All advice and encouragement is welcomed and appreciated! I look forward to connecting with you guys.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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