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Greetings From Chicago! So grateful I found this group!!!

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  • Greetings From Chicago! So grateful I found this group!!!

    Hi Everyone!

    My name is Chrystal, and I am a recent transplant to the Chicago area from TN. I got married in October, and moved to join my husband who was then in his first year of general surgery residency. He just started year two. Tonight is his first 24+ hour call shift. He's scared. Me too!

    In Tennessee, I was successfully building a career. I was active in pastoral ministry. I had published my first book and was promoting it regionally. I was surrounded by friends and family. And my DH pursued me...our old-fashioned courtship spanned two years, survived audition rotations and a cross-country move. We were both strong, determined individuals who decided we wanted nothing more than to be together. I was so excited about the life we were beginning...

    But it's been so hard. No honeymoon period for us...he was able to take three days off for our wedding. One day to fly back to TN, one for us to get married, one to pack up the car and bring me back with him to Chicago. Our first year together has been overshadowed by the demands of residency. And for the first six months, I wasn't sure the stressed out, angry, selfish resident I was married to was the same loving, attentive, protective man I'd known before. I felt like I left everything--career, church, family, and in some ways, my identity--for someone who would never understand or value my sacrifice. I now understand that this is what marriage requires...a willingness to give of oneself to be better together. I know that we love each other. I've got his back. And we've grown to the place that we are determined to face life (and residency) together, no matter what it brings. Things are better...we're learning to think like a team and to take advantage of whatever time we have together.

    And I'm starting over. New career. Trying to find a church and make new friends. Rediscovering who I am. So many questions, and fears, and worries. I am glad to have found a community here of people who know this lifestyle, who just get it. I read your posts, and at least for those moments, feel like I'm not so alone. There are days when I don't think I'm strong enough for this. When I'm missing home. When my mind begins to wonder. But I pray. And I remember how much my DH loves me (even if he's too busy to call to tell me). And I remind myself that many, many others have survived residency, and that we're gonna be ok.

    All advice and encouragement is welcomed and appreciated! I look forward to connecting with you guys.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  • #2
    Welcome! So glad you are here. Post often.

    Sent from my SCH-I545 using Tapatalk 4
    Wife and #1 Fan of Attending Adult & Geriatric Psychiatrist.

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    • #3
      Welcome! We get it. My DH is PGY2 as well, although he's not surgery. Post frequently, looking forward to getting to know you.
      Wife to PGY4 & Mother of 3.

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      • #4
        Greetings From Chicago! So grateful I found this group!!!

        Thanks!!! I just found the thread to check in during call shifts. Aside from the loneliness, I think the hardest part has just been not knowing what to expect! Reading through everyone's posts has been helpful. I'm good right now, but I'm glad I have place to vent when needed!


        Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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        • #5
          Welcome!

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          • #6
            Welcome! Glad you have found us. Stick around and jump on in to the forums!
            Wife of PGY-4 (of 6), cat herder, and mom to a sassy-pants four-nager.

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            • #7
              Welcome! You're in good hands here!
              Jen
              Wife of a PGY-4 orthopod, momma to 2 DDs, caretaker of a retired race-dog, Hawkeye!


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              • #8
                Welcome! We were long distance for the year and a half before we got married and then finally moved together when we got married. At the time I was in grad school, then a year and a half later he got in. It's definitely a sacrifice, but we do what we have to sometimes to be with the ones we love.
                Allison - professor; wife to a urology attending; mom to baby girl E (11/13), baby boy C (2/16), and a spoiled cat; knitter and hoarder of yarn; photographer

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                • #9
                  Welcome!!
                  Married to a newly minted Pediatric Rad, momma to a sweet girl and a bunch of (mostly) cute boy monsters.



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                  • #10
                    Welcome, I'm glad you found us. Before you know it you will find that we are an awesome group of people, and collectively we have and can survive just about anything!!!!
                    Luanne
                    wife, mother, nurse practitioner

                    "You have not converted a man because you have silenced him." (John, Viscount Morely, On Compromise, 1874)

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                    • #11
                      Welcome!
                      Student and Mom to an Oct 2013 boy
                      Wife to Anesthesia Critical Care attending

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                      • #12
                        Thanks everyone!


                        Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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                        • #13
                          Welcome to the group!! You really will love it here! Congrats on surviving the first year xoxo
                          sigpic
                          buckeye born, raised, and educated... thankfully, so is my wonderful med student husband...

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                          • #14
                            Welcome!


                            Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
                            Veronica
                            Mother of two ballerinas and one wild boy

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                            • #15
                              Welcome! We just finished Gen Surg residency and are starting a year of fellowship. I also did intern year long distance with my then boyfriend, now husband and then moved half way across the country for him. I feel you. Its rough and I am going through the, who the heck is the person I married? right now as we are stressfully going through changes in our lives. Everyone here has gone through bits and pieces of what you are going through so there is always someone who can empathize with you.
                              -L.Jane

                              Wife to a wonderful General Surgeon
                              Mom to a sweet but stubborn boy born April 2014
                              Rock Chalk Jayhawk GO KU!!!

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