Hello from frigid Canada

[SweetDee]

I recently posted asking for help with my relationship on reddit and was refferred here. It is wonderful to see this community! I married my PGY4 Surgery resident husband a little over a year ago after a 5 year long-distance relationship. I am barely hanging in there with his schedule, my unemployment and moving back and forth between the US and Canada. To further complicate issues my husband is a fmg(foreign medical graduate). Our main issues however are learning to deal with his unrelenting work hours, exhaustion and my feelings of inadequacy. It has only been a year and i am tired of constantly competing with his work for his attention. How do you folks do it?! Looking forward to talking to everyone.

[spotty_dog]

Welcome! You've come to the right place.

[Curegirl]

Welcome! I have no words of advice except residency sucks much of the time so start thinking of ways to do things and he can join in when he can. And don't think of it as competing with work because you're his comfort from all the shitty things he has to go through on the job.

[scrub-jay]

Hi! Welcome! You are definitely in the right place. Post often, we get it.

[ladymoreta]

Welcome!! That's a lot of changes all at once. We're here for you, and we get it. Residency sucks, especially surgery. As much as you're able, try to get out and make friends so you have a support network available, and post here often. I'm looking forward to getting to know you!

[diggitydot]

Welcome to the group. We get it, I promise.

You've got a LOT on your plate between everything. The only advice I have is to be as flexible as possible, enjoy whatever time you can get together, and have your own life outside of the weird medicine shit.

Hang in there. We get it, truly.

[rainbabies]

Hello and welcome. Glad you found us. My dh is also an fmg.

[MrsK]

Welcome. Totally with you on competition for attention. You're in the right place.

[Thirteen]

Welcome welcome!

[alotofyarn]

Welcome! We did long distance too, although ours wasn't quite as long and it was split up a bit. It's all a lot to handle at once, but this group is a great source of support!

[ides]

Welcome!

[GreyhoundsRUs]

Welcome!

[OrionGrad]

Welcome!

[MrsC]

Welcome! My DH is an FMG too.

[L.Jane]

Welcome! You have found the right place to commiserate and get a few laughs when the medical mistress is being a total B.

Just a little bit about my experience. We are in our fellowship year of surgery. We did intern year of residency long distance dating and then I moved to him for PGY2 and we got married in PGY 4. Finding yourself in a new place with no job, no friends, no family, and an extremely busy SO is tough. I went through a little depression until i found a job and friends. Its so important to make your own life and he can join in when he can. I used meetup.com and religious social groups to help me meet friends and I got small jobs like working at a doggy daycare until I found a job in my actual career field. Surgery life is a time suck and my motto is sadly always, expect the worse, and you might be pleasantly surprised. Like last night we had a dinner with friends from out of town. I had no clue if DH was going to make it, but at the last second he did, and it was nice. Had he not, I would have gone out with out him and still had a good time.