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Newbie.. and thank you for setting this page up!!

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  • Newbie.. and thank you for setting this page up!!

    Well, first a little about me..
    I'm from a suburb of Chicago and am dating a lovely 2nd year med student. I work full time (not in the medical field) and love my job which keeps me oh so busy nowadays.. I'm starting to feel the frustrations, since my bf is so worried about failing and not doing well... and I just don't know what to say or do anymore to help him.. So I came here to seek some answers and help.
    I'm an independent person to begin with so I think that helps. I'm also starting school part-time to finish my degree and move onto my masters.
    I feel that my family and friends have no clue of what I'm going thru. I try to ask for their advice and they don't get it that this is his life, career and future. If I was in his shoes I would need to study a lot as well.. so I'm frustrated with that as well.. I hope these boards help..
    Thanks for listening..

  • #2
    Welcome! I like your username

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    • #3
      Hey, I'm from Wauconda--are you near there?

      How long have you and your bf been together?

      I agree that sometimes the hardest thing is wanting to be able to help them, but sort of discovering that in the end there's only so much you can do for them--it's not like you can study on his behalf. Although my fiance says "I really like knowing that you've got my back. That helps a lot." Ah, well.

      The family not understanding thing has been one of the ways this board has helped me the most--allowing me to see what's ahead, adjust my expectations, and then explain it to my family so they could adjust their expectations about what the medical training process is going to be like.
      Married to a hematopathologist seven years out of training.
      Raising three girls, 11, 9, and 2.

      “That was the thing about the world: it wasn't that things were harder than you thought they were going to be, it was that they were hard in ways that you didn't expect.”
      Lev Grossman, The Magician King

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      • #4
        Julie,
        I'm actually in Arlington heights.. I pass thru Wauconda everytime I go home to visit my parents..
        One of the hardest things for me is the fact my parents nor my friends understand.. I've excepted this and I'm ok with it.. I find myself doing things all the time to keep myself busy..
        Well, as for how long I've been dating him depends where you look at it.. 6/9 months.. I know not a long time, but its hard when you really love somebody.. and the fact that I knew him pre-study time.. I met him this past summer and we then decided to date after knowing each other.. and with his studying I started getting nervous because I didn't know what was "normal" behavior and what wasn't.. and I only can listen to everyone else who isn't going thru this SO much. My mom is now understanding, but its still hard.. I'm just so happy to have found this place..

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        • #5
          Hey -- Welcome!!!

          We were just in Wilmette last weekend for a family event (both of my parents are from there) and drove through Arlington Heights at some point on our trip! I remember asking what town this was and how long until we arrived at our destination!!

          This is a great resource. You will find people who are where you are, ben there done that, and people who can give thoughtful advice.

          I have depended on this site to vent to anyone other than people I know -- especially my DH. It's been a big help.

          Take care and write often.
          Flynn

          Wife to post training CT surgeon; mother of three kids ages 17, 15, and 11.

          “It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” —Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets " Albus Dumbledore

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