surgery resident spouse new to forum

I am soo glad to see that a group like this exists!!! FINALLY! After our first year in general surgery residency, I thought I was going to go insane! I could have used a support group such as this. Briefly, my DH went to med school in Chicago and is now a 2nd year residenct at UCDMC in Sacramento, CA. The first year was incredibly difficult. The hours, adjusting to a new town, finding a job and meeting people etc.
I definately have a better handle on our life now but it's still very difficult and the road ahead is challenging. Another 3.5 years of residency, 2 years of research and 2 years fellowship (ACK! Does surgery training ever end?)
The residency program here has a group that is quite active. Dinners, book club, outtings etc. It's great and I suggest to all who have access to this type of group - JOIN! And if there isn't one, start one!
Hello to all!

[samssugarmomma]

Welcome!

Look forward to getting to know you,
Kate

[PrincessFiona]

Lori,

A late welcome aboard from me! We have another member whose husband is also doing general surgery/research/fellowship who I am sure will say hi when she gets back from her trip.

What type of a fellowship is your husband looking at doing?

It's a long road, but in the end, it is worth it. My dh did IM and then an ID fellowship. He is in his 4th post-training year and things have really calmed down for us. There is a light at the end of the tunnel!

kris

Hi Kris!
Thanks for the kind words!
He is looking into pediatric surgery which will require an additional 2 years of research plus 2 year fellowship on top of 5 yr gen surg.
:argue: this has been us lately since he told me how much moving will be required to accomplish ped surg. Essentially moving every 2 years until he becomes an attending. And I thought the 5 year gen surg was bad....
So I told him, "great! I would love to live in an expensive city (because that is likely the place for research and fellowship) and not have to work!"
Not work???? he exclaims! Why?
I say - "well it's hard to find jobs and how will I establish a career and find a decent job if I have to move every 2 years? We have already learned the hard way that unless you're really lucky, employers don't hire job jumpers! So then, you dear DH, will find a way to support us in an expensive town, move around and pay for my weekly massages (oh opps, I was dreaming again!)
Needless to say, he hasn't quite figured out this one yet.
thanks to this forum, I have FAR less gray hairs sprouting up!!! Yeah for all the wonderful, honest people who get together on this forum! I am addicted! :bath:

[PrincessFiona]

Lori, our other member (Kelly) has a husband doing the exact same thing and wanting to do the exact same fellowship. You guys will have so much to talk about!

:gossip:


We have a wonderful group of people here. They are honest, funny, supportive and they give you a good kick in the pants if you need it. What I like about the group is that people are open about the good and the bad in their experiences. I feel like I can come here and cry if things are bad and come and celebrate when things are good...and that I have genuine friends here. I value the members here as friends.

I hope that you will stick around and get to know everyone.

The medical training years are experienced differently by everyone. I think we all bring our own personal experiences and coping abilities into this process. I have learned so much from listening to the experiences of others...and I have just had fun getting to know them.

Welcome aboard!

kris

[BonBon]

We have a wonderful group of people here. They are honest, funny, supportive and they give you a good kick in the pants if you need it. What I like about the group is that people are open about the good and the bad in their experiences. I feel like I can come here and cry if things are bad and come and celebrate when things are good...and that I have genuine friends here. I value the members here as friends.

I hope that you will stick around and get to know everyone.

I completely agree!! Welcome!

Welcome! You'll find a lot of support here.

[houseelf]

Welcome Young Skywalker,

O.K., my attempt to emulate a mentor like Obi Wan sucks, but girl, kick your feet up because you have found a home amongst kindred spirits here.

We are in year 5 of 9 DH's quest to become a pediatric surgeon. My career presents a particular hardship because I have to become relicensed in each State where we follow him down this Yellow Brick Road for an end that I'm not convinced really exists. I sincerely want to tell you how it isn't that bad and dispense a positive outlook, but ethically I have to be honest with you. It is a damn hard way to go. I'm sorry for the brutal honesty, but DH's career is the single biggest issue in our marriage. I should add that our situation is somewhat different because we have two small children which add unbelieveable joy and stress to our lives

All I can tell you is that we are here for you and we feel your pain.
While all Surgery sucks, and all surg fellowships suck, Peds is particularly bad because of its extreme competitiveness which requires extra research years. (Should I add a tag line to my signature about the power of positive thinking? )

While I can't blow a lot of sunshine your way about this topic (my sincere apologies) let me know if there is anything that I can do. I feel your brand of pain.

BTW, I was out of town, my apologies for not replying to your PM.

Kelly

[Flynn]

Howdy howdy howdy.

I will have to agree with everything Kelly said about Gen. Surg. SUCKING A TON and I am so glad to be DONE with that part of our life. The abuse they suffer at the hads of broken systems, broken people and crazy trauma patients is wacky.

I will also chime in on the difficulties of Peds. Surg. My DH considered it for a while but CT was his passion and I am glad because I can't tell you how many people we know who DIDN'T match in a peds. surg. fellowship and were forced to go to podunk USA OR change their career paths. Not a pretty picture.

This is a great site -- it has saved my psyche on several occasions because you get HEARD by people who have "been there baby!" I value this site and the people here a great deal.

Welcome!!! (and with that, my son has woken up completely ticked and I must sign off.)