Yeah! I'm finally here!!!!

[lilponygirl]

I can't believe I can finally post! After blindly searching the internet for help on Tuesday, I came across this site (which is a Godsend!!!). But because of technically difficulties I couldn't get back on until today. I thought, just when I've found the answer to my prayers it, too, has been taken away. But, alas, I am here!!!

Let me explain a little bit...my husband of 2 1/2 years just started his 3rd year of med school on Tuesday. We both knew that he would eventually be at this stage, but neither one of us predicted just how challenging it was going to be. I don't know how other clinicals work, but he is starting with Internal Medicine (one of the worst according to some 4th years he has talked to). They are required to be on-call every 4 days...and by the luck (or bad luck I should say) of the draw he was on call the first day. So, here we are, coming off a glorious 4-day weekend of no studying (he had just taken his USMLE Step 1 on 6/30) and BAMMM!! He's working 6am to 8pm. It came as quite a shock, so, like I said, I sought out support from others in my situation, and boy am I glad I'm here.

So far, though, I have been reading some of the resident's wives posts and am absolutely terrified of the road ahead. And I thought this year was going to be awful!

Anywho...just wanted to post a hello to all, and would love some words of encouragement (or fellow complainers) from those going through the 3rd year blues.

My boyfriend also just started his third year of medical school on Tuesday. He has his pediatric rotation first. He had call last night.

[Sheherezade]

I am far away from the med school experience (DH is an attending now), but I wanted to say welcome. I'm glad you found this space and I hope you stick around. There seem to be a lot of new med school spouses joining. I'm sure you'll find people who understand your gripes.

[Vanquisher]

Welcome, it's nice to have you here.

Don't get too discouraged about the residency talk just yet, it sucks, no doubt about it, but there is something you can do about it. Gently, or not so gently, steer your dh into a field that doesn't squash you into oblivion. I recommend staying away from anything where they need to yield a scalpel in a sterile field for hours at a time.

The psych residents here have to take 6 months of "call" (BWAHAHAHA), and then they are completely done after that. So, that might be a specialty to consider. There are many more, and I'm sure you can figure out what the hard ones are and what the leave you for dead ones are.

A sidenote: when my dh was rotating in the MICU, he wasn't allowed to take vacation because it was a "call month" for the internal medicine residents. They wouldn't want them to have to take any extra call to fill in for the ortho residents. Anyway, life is a call night in surgery, all the months are "call months" and call always happens on the worst days. They have one heck of a crystal ball when they make the call schedule.

Good luck this year and remember, steer wisely!

[Meenah]

Welcome, this is a great place. There will be days when we are your only link to sanity!!!! Read through the old posts and you will see that we all appear quite schizophrenic!!!! It truly is a roller coaster, just make sure you develop your own life, one that your husband can roll in and out of at the whim of the school.
Luanne

[SuzySunshine]

Welcome to the boards - my DH and I have been together since undergrad and we are now at the start of his second residency year. As you can see by my sig he is not in an easy residency and while I'm sure most would say this is hell he loves it and you should just see him glow when he talks about it. Steer your husband toward something he loves and even though it may be rough at first you'll both be much happier in the long run! Good luck and welcome!

[Auspicious]

Re: Yeah! I'm finally here!!!!

I don't know how other clinicals work, but he is starting with Internal Medicine (one of the worst according to some 4th years he has talked to). They are required to be on-call every 4 days...and by the luck (or bad luck I should say) of the draw he was on call the first day. So, here we are, coming off a glorious 4-day weekend of no studying (he had just taken his USMLE Step 1 on 6/30) and BAMMM!! He's working 6am to 8pm.

I feel your pain. My husband is doing his Internal Med rotation right now, though he's at the end of third year (and he still has weeks left--it's the year that won't end!). Saturday night we're at a perfectly nice party, everything is great, and my husband has to leave reeeaaally early because he's got to get up at 4am on Sunday. Our friends' infant was still bright-eyed and entertaining everyone with her antics when he left. I was like, "Honey, you've been out-partied by an eight-month-old."

So, I remembered the mantras often repeated here, which include "Have your own life" and "Don't be a slave to your spouse's schedule whenever you can avoid it" and decided to stay at the party without him, which turned out to be the right decision. (Seriously, I've learned so much from reading this site--I'm glad you found it. Everyone should find it.)

It apparently varies by circumstance, but IM has been one of the worst for us, too (for him because it's hard, and for me because then I have to listen to him complain, ha!) so here's hoping the next one is easier on you, and then by the time another bad one rolls around you'll be more used to it.