Stay at Home Dad/Husband to Intern..Yikes!

[pstone]

Greetings All,

Thought I would say hello, introduce myself, and share what look like common "oh my god" feelings right at the start. As much as I thought we prepared how can you really, she wants to quit, I want to quit....yikes...and it has only been 4 weeks.

Oh brother...

I am sure I will be around, Pete.

Welcome to the boards!

I have felt your pain....as many here will tell you, it will get better...and worse at times. I am sure that isn't much consolation, but you can make it, as can your spouse! Patience and communication(as well as a beer or favorite cold beverage and some occasional alone time) are needed to make it through.

This a great source of common ground, others that know exactly what you are dealing with and have been, or are going through it, at the same time.

Good to have another SAHD on board!

[Vanquisher]

Welcome, I am glad to have you here.

What specialty is your wife in? There are a lot of people here in similar shoes or who have been there. Jump on in!

Welcome, Pete!
The intern year is just a shock to the system -- for everyone -- isn't it? As Matt said, it will get better, and sometimes worse, and then better. Hang in there. Feel free to vent anytime.

[DCJenn]

Welcome aboard!

Matt (and Dave and Kevin and the male lurkers) will all appreciate having another guy around.

and yup, Matt's deadon about the hideousness of internship year, and you're right, there's no way to even begin to understand until you're in it. Hold your breathe, hang on and come back often. The good news? It does end.

Jenn

and my husband spent all of internship year grumbling about how he 1) hated all people 2) really hated all fellow doctors and 3) hated pediatrics, the idea of pediatrics, the mere mention of patient parents, pagers, contract nurses, etc. ,etc.

Now that we're PGY 6, he's back to just hating people.

Jenn

[pstone]

Wow, thanks for the immediate support. Her speciality is anesthesia so as she said this morning only 47 more months to go, how healthy does that sound?

I am going insane at home, little boy is great, but lonliness is awful. So far have been the uber husband, as I am sure you all are to your spouse as well.

Crazy part is the hard stuff has not even started.

Her speciality is anesthesia so as she said this morning only 47 more months to go, how healthy does that sound?

:thud:
Yeah....I think it might be a little less depressing to say 1/12 of the way done with this year. You make progress a lot faster than way!
Have you found any playgroups or that sort of thing to do with your son and to get you out of the house?

Welcome aboard. I don't have any real advice since you can see from my signature that I'm behind you on this path.

[Sheherezade]

Welcome! I think the adjustment to each new phase is one the hardest things in training. The first year of med school, first year of residency, first year of fellowship, first year of a "real" job - all present a new challenge. So, maybe it will get better after she knows her way around the hospital and the computer systems. (It's the only positive thought I can offer! )

I've been at home with my kids for a long time now. It can be lonely. You have to get out each day or you'll go mad.

I hope things look up soon for the both of you! Keep posting!

[Flynn]

Howdy! Hang in there and take it a day at a time. Plan things to look forward to if you can -- even if it's as silly as "today I will buy myself a coffee and my boy a cookie (or babyfood?) !" It sounds dumb but you never know who you will talk to, make a connection with etc.

Residency stinks any way you look at it. It gets so bad sometimes it has to be comical or you'd go nuts. Look for the sick humor in this crazy lifestyle we lead.

Welcome and post often. As much as I BI$%# about surgery, I think being married to a female doc and staying home with the kids is much harder than what I am doing. Your boy is a lucky guy!

[SuzySunshine]

My DH is not in anesthesia but the friends we have that were had a TERRIBLE intern year but the years since then have been MUCH better. I know that doesn't help with the next 11 months but hang in there!

[Meenah]

Welcome, you have found NIRVANA!!!!! Yep, this place is great for retaining (or regaining) sanity.
Luanne

[fluffhead]

Welcome Pete.
It's a long haul, and there are times when it's terribly isolating.
Looking back, I think the REALLY bad times were not that frequent. Your wife will get used to the punishing schedule, and you'll get used to being a defacto single parent. And it will feel so good when it's over!!! (though to hear some of the attendings' spouses, it seems never to be over! )