New to this board, city, and marriage!

My husband is a first year resident. I left a great job, my family and friends for him to attend one of the top programs. I didn't realize how miserable I would be. I am out of work, I know noone, and my husband is only home and awake a max of 4 hours a day.

[Sheherezade]

Welcome! I know exactly how you feel. (We all do, probably. ) There is a lot going on here at iMSN. It is a great place to find commiseration, get info and just hang out. Check out the other sections on the boards for conversation, the articles and magazine, and the resources from the main pages. Post often! We've gotten a lot of new members lately. Must be a new year.

[DCJenn]

I know your pain- we got married the day after he graduated from medical school and were at the new place for residency three days later. It pretty much stunk.

Come back, read through our varied and always interesting posts- and vent away- trust me, more of us have been in your shoes than not!

Jenn

[Meenah]

Welcome, you found us just in time. Medical Spouses Anonymous (MSA). This site has been a lifesaver to all of us. We have all been there and are there, that is why we are here!!! (Did that make sense?)
As others have mentioned, read the posts and beging to post away.
Luanne

[pstone]

It is so crazy that we all welcome people here, we should say sorry your here but we understand. I am also at the beginning of residency with my wife so I feel your pain. What is his speciality? We looked at UNC, seemed like a nice area. I don't know anyone where I live either, and I have quit two jobs now for the old lady. I have not been here (IMSN) long, but I am already way to attached to the site. I look at everyones signatures and see people who are almost done with training and wonder, how many posts will I have by the time mine says SAHD and husband to a CA-3.

welcome

Welcome kindred soul! Take things a day at a time, you have got a lot on your plate. Look into a spouse group, hands on commiseration during your transitions will be good.

We are always here for you to lean on, come post away. We look forward to hearing more from you!

[houseelf]

Welcome to the boards. I have been in your shoes. When we moved here with our four month old, I knew no one, wasn't licensed in my field, and had a spouse working 100+ hours a week. He said he felt like he had a dog waiting for him by the door to come home and play. Add seven months of snow and dire financial straights, and I remember how absolutely miserable I was.

Five years down the road and I still grumble more than I probably should, but life is definitely better and has more of a rhthym and sense of community. I work part-time in my field, have made a few friends, integrated myself into my son's school and the local running community, have a fabulous five year old little buddy who rocks my world and a darling baby girl, and a history with DH that somehow solidifies us.

I won't lie to you, there are definitely still some very difficult aspects in my life (I am the wife of a surgery resident after all). But now my struggles are different and I have found people to share them with both on this website and in real life. Somehow this makes it more bearable.

I wish you every luck and happiness and try to keep in mind that you are just in the midst of a transition. This too shall pass...to bring more...um "growth experiences".

Kelly

Welcome! I'm experiencing the same thing. I left a great company and job, friends and family, etc. to move 1,000 miles away to join my fiance, who's only in his 2nd year of med school! I'm starting grad school this fall and just came back from my career counselor, who basically told me I'm going to have a tough time finding an internship for next summer and a FT job in the future. I'm trying to not get upset, but I'm finally realizing that my fiance's schooling is priority over my career right now. Grr...sacrifices have begun!

Hello,
I can empathize. I just posted a few lines above yours. We didn't have to move far, so I still see friends and family, though it's limited. No one else understands the workload that residents face. We were just married in June, and my friends are also planning their own weddings, so everyone thinks the newlyweds need space and are leaving us alone. Uh, no! I don't need space, I have enough! The past eight weeks have been so touch I don't know how we'll get through the next five years!

Anyway, before I continue my own complaining, I just thought I'd write to say that I feel your pain up here in PA. Everyone keeps saying things will get better, so lets hope that is soon!

lmc05,
I am late chiming in but I just wanted to say welcome! I found these boards during my husband's second year of residency when I was in a funk and they were a lifesaver! I am sorry you have had to deal with so many changes. I live in Pinehurst about an hour away from you. We moved away from our families in California a year ago and it was lonely for a while...especially since I was not working and I started to have some regrets about moving here. Once I started meeting our neighbors and other people in town, I really started to enjoy living here. Are any of your husband's co-residents married? You might be able to become good friends with their spouses....especially since their spouses understand exactly what you are going through.

I am in the Durham area often (although I haven't been able to get up there too much since my little boy was born). We should try to get together sometime.

Re: New to this board, city, and marriage!

Hey, how is everything going on after the first months? I will marry in June and my future housband will start his residency program some days after... as happened to you I will move far away from family and friends, and job

[Laker]

We will be in your position in July. New city far away, don't know anyone, expensive area.

It is only for 4 years, or so I like to tell myself...