introducing myself finally

Hi everyone,
I posted here about 6 months ago and now posting as finally the wife of a PGY1. When I posted before, I was struggling as my husband wasn't matching the past few years (foreign med. grad). He found a position end of June to start July 1. As excited as we were/are. In a month, I left my career, moved to Atlanta from Chicago, left my family and friends. I know no one here. I don't have kids which I think that would force me to meet people with their activities. When I wake up, I have nothing to look forward to. The cooking channel is my best friend. My husband works 7 days a week, up at 5am, sleeps 4 hours at nights. I'm totally alone. He tries so hard to make time for me, and he does, but it's not the same. We've only been married 10 months, so much change, it's unreal. I plan on going to a few meetings for mewcommers clubs in the area in Sept., so I guess that's a start. I joined Curves, at least I can talk there for the 30 min. sometimes. I love Scrapbooking but finding a hard time finding a group here. Please if you can all give me some encouragement, I'd appreciate it.
Thanks, Jackie

correction...

"newcommers", not mewcommers, sorry everyone

Welcome Jackie! It's a hard change - very different cities - not knowing anyone. I have a cousin doing residency in Atlanta - she went to undergrad there too and loves it.Hopefully you'll be able to find things to fall in love with - aside from the opressive heat. :thud: I have several friends from our residency who also got married / relocated within mere weeks. HUGE changes by themselves, all lumped into one, fun package.

Try to look for a spouses group at your dh's hospital. If they haven't contacted you yet (and they might not know of you b/c you were a late add) call the residency office and ask if there is one. I met 2 of my very dearest friends there. None of us had kids when we started, then we all had our first babies together, and we all finished together. Now we're all making the jump to attending-life via long-distance as we've scattered to the wind! I found it very helpful and comforting to know people in literally my shoes. Co-workers only hear that you're married to a doctor, and don't look behind that. No one outside of this wacky world knows the pain of not matching (we didn't either, BTW), and the trauma of residency. They hear "doctor" and their eyes glaze over (mine too, but for different reasons).

This place is a GREAT resource. They've provided me with great comfort, and I've even met a friend in my new city b/c I met her on this board! I can't think of anyone in Atlanta - I know suwanee is in Georgia, but I don't know where.

Congratulations on finding a place to continue your dh's training! Best of luck, keep coming back here, and it WILL get better. BTW - what is your dh's specialty?

Oh - and you never have to correct your spelling for us! We're awful!

[Sheherezade]

I'm glad you posted again. It is hard to move to a new place and try to meet friends. Even harder when you need to have friends in place to help you deal with all the *other* life changes going on! Most everyone here has been in your position. Come in and post often. You can almost always find someone online several times a day- although it is slower on the weekends lately.

Curves and scrapbooking sound like good places to look for friends. Does you program have a spouse support group?

[DCJenn]

Welcome!

Are you planning on looking for a job or are you taking some time off. If you're taking some time off, take advantage of getting to know your new city. I made sure I got out and did something as often as I could. I remember one day going "OK, today, I'll find the public library." then another day, "OK, today I'm going to the zoo." and "OK, today I'm going to find a different grocery store." Seriously, anything to get out of the house. If I could walk there, even better.

It's hard. My husband's hospital didn't have a support group for residents, they had an auxiliary where every spouse was the spouse of a retired general or something- and I had zero in common with any of them. I didn't have kids so I couldn't attend any of their meetings which always took place at 11:00 am at a restaurant 45 minutes away from where I worked. It was really frustrating.

Actually what finally made a difference was 1) there was a softball team for the peds dept. attendings, fellows, residents and spouses (They were the Baby Docs) and 2) they had a forced get away weekend. I ended up meeting a lot of the male spouses (most of the women at that point were attending to young children with each other) and we sat around drinking beer and making fun of the 'bonding' exercises the residents were forced to do.

I promise, it will get better. it's a matter of getting out of the house.

Jenn

Thanks everyone for your responses. I'm definately going to look into a spouse support group. I'll call his resident coordinator, I really hit it off with her. Maybe she can offer some support. My husband is in psychiatry, but the first 6 months are medicine rotations. As for the question am I going to work... Georgia doesn't support my license, I was am psychotherapist. So right now, I'm having a hard time finding a job that doesn't require their state license. Quit frankly, I was burnt out and looking for something new, not sure what that is yet though. Thanks again everyone!

[SuzySunshine]

Welcome, Jackie.

Is there a scrapbook store in your area that holds crop nights? That would be a great way to meet people. If you have an Archivers you might start there they usually do them once a week at most stores. Their website is http://www.archivers.com. Locally owned shops usually have them as well.

My DH is a PGY2 and we don't have children either so I agree that it is harder to find friends. The spouse groups are great if you can find one and we're always here to listen.

Hey Cheri - it's actually http://www.archiversonline.com - I just followed your link b/c it sounded interesting to me, and ended up at some film-related thing.

Thanks for the idea! Although my dh is going to curse you for helping me to find such a place so close to home! I knew there would be at least one here b/c I remember you lived in KC!

What luck!