Is this my life?

Hello,
I'm so happy I found you! Well, I am a stressed first year law student married to a stressed first year medical student. I knew it would be a tense time but I was not prepared for the utter reorganization of our lives. The house is trashed, our dogs haven't been walked for weeks and on top of all of that I think I'm losing my hair. All of this (except for the hair part) would be manageable if I felt that my husband provided some material support. If anyone cooks it is me. If anyone buys groceries it is me. I feel like I am the default for everything. The worst of it is that I think this is just a taste of what my life is going to be like for many years to come. Am I right? Anyway, I must say it feels good to vent, thanks for listening.

[spotty_dog]

Welcome! You've been thrown headlong into the deep end of the pool, but you'll soon learn to tread water. Seriously though, during our own journey through med school there were ebbs and flows. My husband would have extensive downtime -- and pamper me when I got home from work; and he'd have extensive periods of heavy workload -- and I'd fight to maintain order and sanity to protect his studytime and our togethertime.

Hopefully you'll come to a balance soon. Post often -- commisseration and advice is what the fabulous folks here are good at.

[Flynn]

Welcome and YEP!!!!


Hang in there and try to stress to him in a nice way that the more he pitches in at home the more you will be willing to support his career. You are NOT just along for the ride, nor are you his accountant, personal assistant, errand girl, and therapist. You are HIS WIFE!



Post often and hang in there.

Its tough as rocks

Going to Cornell University business program and having a ton of friends go through Cornell Law school I can sympathize with you and the hell you're going through right now.

However, I wanted to tell you that medical school is A LOT more difficult to go through then MBA or JD programs that last for two or so years and are focused on very logical past behaviors/models.

My wife is finished with med school and I couldn't even compare how much more difficult med school is compared to a JD or MBA program.

Now, please don't take this the wrong way as I am not saying that because one is tough that the other isn't but I just wanted to point out to you that what your spouse is going through is even more difficult then what you are going through. There is so much more they have to learn outside of medicine (chemical interactions, pharmacology, and so forth) and its four years of hell they have to go through.

Bottom line, its gonna be difficult for both of you guys. Sacrifices will have to be made. Just hang in there and try to find a little bit of time to support and love one another.

[JaneDoe]

Hello- my Dh and I have BTDT with your situation. We were married between by my 2nd and 3rd years of law school and his 1st and 2nd years of medical school. It does take some balancing and will have some tense moments, but overall it's doable.

I agree with what a previous poster mentioned and that my Dh's medical training has definitely been more demanding than my law school. I've also found that I've had to make more sacrifices in my professional carrer for his training (i.e., the match, moving after residency, etc.). I'm fine with that, especially now that we have a daughter, but those will be some of the issues that you and your dh address at some point.

This site is excellent and great place for support.

Thanks for your replies. I'm feeling much more positive today. It has just been a bad week. It helped put things into perspective to hear that med school is more difficult than law school. My DH isn't a complainer (that is my job in the family) so I pretty much only hear the good. Well, now that I'm feeling more with it I thought I would really introduce myself.
DH and I have been married for 5 years. We just this year returned back to school: I was a ballet teacher and DH was a software developer. It feels like (for the most part) returning back to school has been a nice break from adulthood. I enjoy animals, travel, food, hiking, shopping (when I can afford it) and now sleep. That is me in a nutshell.

Melissa