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Hello all
I have just discovered this website, and it looks terrific. Although I have been with DH from the beginning...8 years pre MCATs, I have started to struggle like I haven't in the past. He is PGY2, first year Ophtho resident. Last year, internship internal medicine was a true nightmare, but we were in my home town and I was finishing a PhD in theatre. I had my own focus and a complex support network. I would never want to repeat last year, but we got through it.
We moved across the country (Southwest to Midwest) for Ophtho. As you would imagine there aren't too many full time theatre faculty positions, so I have been working part time at two universities and the professional theatre...which actually works very well with my 2.5 year old son.
The difficulty is that now, although I am doing very well for being dropped in a city, I am not really building a career. My DS is delightful and I would love to nurture more children, DH is still figuring out how to be a semi normal person after last year, let alone consider more children. On top of that his call schedule presents a unique problem.
Comparatively, it is an easy schedule. One weekend a month (supposedly) and usually one night a week...all from home. But when he has had a difficult few weeks of call (Thanksgiving, two a week, followed by another weekend, and the day before Christmas and every day in-between Christmas and New Years) He goes back into survival mode...grumpy, not really involved in our lives (stays in bed while DS and I go to the museum).
Last year it was static...I knew what to expect and could manage that, this year it is like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Sometimes I have an attentive loving husband and others I have an intern again. He knows the problem and we are working on it, it is just nice to others coping with the same oddness.
I have friends who have known DH as long as I have and longer, but we live such an odd existence, I know they struggle with knowing how to support us, and now we are thousands of miles away.
It is great to not feel so alone by reading these boards.
I have just discovered this website, and it looks terrific. Although I have been with DH from the beginning...8 years pre MCATs, I have started to struggle like I haven't in the past. He is PGY2, first year Ophtho resident. Last year, internship internal medicine was a true nightmare, but we were in my home town and I was finishing a PhD in theatre. I had my own focus and a complex support network. I would never want to repeat last year, but we got through it.
We moved across the country (Southwest to Midwest) for Ophtho. As you would imagine there aren't too many full time theatre faculty positions, so I have been working part time at two universities and the professional theatre...which actually works very well with my 2.5 year old son.
The difficulty is that now, although I am doing very well for being dropped in a city, I am not really building a career. My DS is delightful and I would love to nurture more children, DH is still figuring out how to be a semi normal person after last year, let alone consider more children. On top of that his call schedule presents a unique problem.
Comparatively, it is an easy schedule. One weekend a month (supposedly) and usually one night a week...all from home. But when he has had a difficult few weeks of call (Thanksgiving, two a week, followed by another weekend, and the day before Christmas and every day in-between Christmas and New Years) He goes back into survival mode...grumpy, not really involved in our lives (stays in bed while DS and I go to the museum).
Last year it was static...I knew what to expect and could manage that, this year it is like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Sometimes I have an attentive loving husband and others I have an intern again. He knows the problem and we are working on it, it is just nice to others coping with the same oddness.
I have friends who have known DH as long as I have and longer, but we live such an odd existence, I know they struggle with knowing how to support us, and now we are thousands of miles away.
It is great to not feel so alone by reading these boards.
So far it doesn't sound as bad as it could be. 
) How long is the optho program? Maybe your DH just needs more time to settle in - then maybe Mr. Hyde will disappear for awhile. 
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