Fresh blood!!

hello!!!

In a few months, I will be marry, unemployed, far away from home and my husband will start his first year of residency!!! Nice combination!!! I had read that a lot of you had been in my shoes and it's nice to know that people survive, but also I am scare.

bye -

[DCJenn]

Yup- It can be done! I actually think that for us being away from everyone and everything we knew helped during the first years of marriage. I was forced to get to know our new city and find things to do and different activities. It's always an adventure, you might as well enjoy it!

Jenn

PS- Welcome aboard

[houseelf]

Welcome,

BTDT.

Kelly

Thank you for your warm welcome and the advise.

I spent par to the morning reading the forums, and it was such a relieve to find out that it is possible for a relationship to survive. Second, I felt less guilty, because I started to think that I was felling selfish but I founded that a lot of spouses had have my same feelings.

I know that the last four years of medical school were sometimes hard but we made it. Now that it’s almost over I cannot think in a really bad moment, or a situation that wasn’t impossible to deal with; at this point I think that probably distance helped a lot (usually we have been in two different places during the last 4 years). However, I am not sure how to deal with the residence program and the fact that we are going to be “in same place”. I have to start to enjoy the adventure but I am not sure if I am well prepare for it, or if a person can get ready for residency. I really like that this new phase in my life work out, and I am very afraid to spoil it, recently, each time that I talk with my fiancé, (especially about residency), I start to have the felling that I am going in the wrong direction to handle things….
How bad can get residency program? Do I have to get to the idea that I will still don’t see him at all? Can I think in family? Or to bring a child with a resident husband it is almost the same to be a single mom? There are some many questions that I have in my mind and I think that so far I don’t have half of the picture of what residency means.

Again, thank you!

[DCJenn]

Well, there's a few commonalities amongst all of the specialties- some have additional levels of hell but:

Internship year is generally worse, although some have said that PGY2 was worse. Yes, you'll have to get used to not seeing them and/or when you do see them, they'll be cranky or asleep.

(True Story: My husband and I went out for a lovely meal during internship year. We sat across a two-person table from each other. He grabbed my hands, he looked adoringly in my eyes. He promptly fell asleep. I let him sleep until the food got there.)

Adding a child to the mix at anytime is totally doable as soon as you (and the spouse) acknowledge that it's doable because you will be doing the doing. Some times are better- we have a post in the parenting section about this very topic. It comes up a lot, in fact.

So, welcome, and we're very glad that you've found us.

Jenn (aka DCJenn)

[Meenah]

Welcome, glad you found us. This site has saved many a marriage!!!
Luanne

[spotty_dog]

Welcome, welcome!

What's your partner's specialty?

My husband is starting residency this year too. I think that the people here have "blazed the trail" for us new residency spouses -- we can get a good picture of what to expect. But at the same time, our experience will be very individual and will depend so much on our own circumstances, so that no outside person can perfectly prepare us. I am reminded of the Matrix movie: "No one can tell you what the Matrix is. You have to see it for yourself."

Good luck!

[Laker]

I am a newlywed spouse married to an intern and we are moving very far away after this intern year. So, I hope to hear about your adventure as it seems somewhat similar to mine.

[Gwendolyn]

Welcome! You are in good company

[cylverdust]

Welcome

I just wanted to say welcome. I love this website and hope you will too.