Resident's wife in quarter-life crisis

[Vanquisher]

Do people really believe that DO schools are easier to get into than MD schools?

Jennifer

Yes. People do believe it. I don't know the validity of it, but it is commonplace. I know that when my husband was applying the average MCAT scores and GPAs for a DO school were lower than for allopathic schools. I have no idea about current stats.

[spotty_dog]

I do think that the stats (MCAT, GPA) are lower for DO schools than for MD schools overall. But it's my understanding that it probably has a lot to do with DO schools looking for a total package applicant, not just an arbitrary test-score cutoff.

No personal experience, just what I've heard.

they are easier to get into. Though they are still representitive of very intelligent people with good GPA's and MCATS. They do tend to look more for the whole package from what I nderstand. You also usually need to have a DO letter. I have a bunch of friends and friends of friends who got into DO schools (mostly due to lower MCAT), and they are doing great. You are still a physician, and can apply to the same residencies (though I have heard it is more difficult for some top notch places, though I am not sure how true that is).

Do people really believe that DO schools are easier to get into than MD schools?

I was about to ask the same thing....


I would argue that is not the case today(though, I do not currently know any stats either). Might have been, but not so much anymore.

it probably has a lot to do with DO schools looking for a total package applicant

hmm....maybe again, they do teach with the idea that they are going to turn out more Family Physicians, and docs that want to work in "rural" areas, but I know of MANY speicalized DO's...several with spouses on this board as well.

Not to get into a "my Dr is/can...better than..." match, but you gotta love the OMT/OMM that the DO's learn though.

[Vishenka69]

I don't know about right now but back when DH was applying, a number of his friends from college who got less than 30 on MCAT chose to go the DO route instead of the islands. From my understanding, you still need good GPA but they do consider a lower MCAT.

[SuzySunshine]

I can't speak for my husband's experience but I can speak of two friends from college. Both had great grades, were overly involved and had average MCAT scores. Both got into DO school but did not get a single MD program acceptance. One went, the other waited a year and reapplied which is when he did get into the state school MD program.

Hard to say, I guess, plus that was about 8 years ago.

wow. a debate started in the introductions forum! That might be a first.

Veggie - at least you know it's never boring around here!

Thanks for all your responses.

I'm finally home from work. It was a long and very, very boring day. All I do at my job is type, answer phones, fax, photocopy, and file. I truly think I've lost many brain cells while working here. It also really bothers me that even though I have a law degree-- no one in the office treats me as such--meaning the lawyers I work for do not speak to me as if I am a thinking person. It's just me and 5 lawyers in the office--no other legal secretaries. I have no one to talk to all day and the lawyers just dump papers on my desk for me to type without so much as a hello when they do it.

Anyhow, as usual, I'm home and drained. I don't have the energy to do much of anything besides watch a movie or read. I take a one-hour walk each day, so I already did that and now I'm basically exhausted unless I take a nap for an hour or two.

Today at work as I was zoning out I made a list of all the good things and not so good things in my life. Things that I'm happy with and things I need to work on. Here's the list:

Good

1. relationship
2. health
3. body image
4. apartment

Bad

1. Career
2. self-esteem
3. overall quality of life
4. lonliness
5. hobbies/interests

The career one is the biggest one, because I feel like my self esteem and overall quality of life would defintiely improve if only I could figure this one out. I've even seen several career counselors, none of which have been able to help me. The overall quality of life aspect needs work, because I feel like in general I don't have a lot of fun, and I'd like to change that. Basically I feel bored and apathetic about most things most of the time, and a big part of that is the fact the I am totally underwhelmed by my job and lack of career.

My husband told me that another resident asked us out for a double date this coming weekend. I really don't want to go. It always makes me feel very uncomfortable to go to events with other residents/doctors, because it makes me feel like a peon. Like I'm totally invisible because I'm just a legal secretary. So I really don't want to go and I told my husband he should just go and I'll stay home. I always dread the point where someone asks me what I do. I dread telling them, and that's why I'm dreading this outing.

Tonight is a call night for my husband. Even though it's been nearly 4 nights of this, I still have never gotten used to--or been able to enjoy--call nights. I feel the silence of the apartment and dread being completely alone and sleeping by myself. I have no friends to call or talk to. I could go out for dinner and a movie by myself--which I sometimes do--but it usually ends up making me feel even more lonely.

Anyhow, as you can see, I'm pretty well mired in the quarter-life crisis. I have considered PA school, but I don't think I'd ever really enjoy that career. I've considered a bunch of different career options, but none of them feel right, such as law school career counselor, management consulting, working at a non-profit, etc. I'm really not the corporate type, so I think a career in a big company or in consulting wouldn't work for me.

I'd love to work as a lawyer in a non-profit, but unfortunately those jobs are most often reserved for the creme de la creme of lawyers. Rarely does a brand new lawyer get offered them, pretty much all of them require at least 4 years of litigation experience and most of the non-profits want Harvard, Yale lawyers, etc. I could work at a non-profit in another capacity, but I spent 6 months this past summer sending in resumes for these positions (program coordinator, etc.) and was repeatedly told I was overqualified and not offered the job (even after making it to a third round of interviews). So I have a feeling that unless I decide to go ahead and practice law, I am going to end up underemployed or unemployed yet again in the new city we're moving to in 2 months.

I feel like if only I could figure out a career that I'd love, so many things would improve.

[Meenah]

What if you found a company you want to work for and apply as a lawyer, thern make a change within the company after an appropriate ammount of time?

Go to dinner with your husband and friends. You cannot complain about being alone all the time, then tell him to go out with others.

You're letting the letters behind people's names mean WAY too much. I don't care if they're an MD, PhD, DO, JD, or MBA ... I can carry on a conversation with anyone I feel like talking to. The degrees you hold or the titles you carry only speak to one aspect of your life - basically your ability to understand and regurgitate information for testing. Good for you for achieving a law degree - if you don't want to use it, that is fine. I don't have a degree at all, but I am confident that I am intelligent and engaging, and if someone wants to be hung up on a piece of paper, that is their problem. Most people are shocked when they learn I didn't go to school (for a myriad of reasons) - I don't get it though. I know LOTS of people who did graduate from college who aren't all that intelligent. They way a person speaks, behaves, treats those around them, etc. is what I base my judgement on.

Very few people have careers that they "love". Most people work as a means to an end. Honestly I think you're placing too much importance on a career -- but a happy job isn't a cure-all. If you're financially able, then just try different things until you find something that clicks. If that's not a possiblity, then work your butt off towards better MCAT scores, apply to DO school, or go the PA route. If your true love is medicine, then working in medicine AT ALL should help you determine the right route.

If your current job is truly that mindless, then use the time to brainstorm for your future.

If your co-workers know that you think of yourself as "just" a legal secretary (while they're probably pretty pleased they reached legal secretary), it is probably rather off-putting and may be why you're not having success making friends there.

You may want to write off your current job / city since you'll be moving soon, and focus all of your energy towards improving the situation once you move.

Truly - good luck.

[planet]

Veggie,

Ouch, Jenn was a bit brutal, but she has knack for telling it like it is. And, well, it was the gospel truth there. One reason you might really want to get out and try many different volunteer jobs is to learn when you are actually happy. When you stop thinking about the periphery of your job and are just doing and enjoying your job you are in the right place. Thinking about where you belong and what is right for you and even the use of your qualifications will not get you there. Counseling didn't. Act and do. Just quit (if $$ you can) and go start doing. Pick random things. Figure if it takes you a year of different jobs it is no worse than a year of the same one you know you don't like. Try something you never thought of before. If you volunteer noboday will care about your qualifications. Also, sometimes when you are most needy the best thing is to help others. You could use your law degree working at a nonprofit as a volunteer. You may not be able to actually use it in capacity, but certainly your knowledge could benefit others. There are usually places to help rape victims or deal with housing issues that need volunteer help. If you like the art class you could even do more along those lines.

[Tenacious_D]

You have to go out to dinner. You'll be amazed at how some of the MD's, MBA's etc etc don't seem as high and mighty once you have a conversation with them. Plus you will end up feeling worse if DH is out to dinner with friends and you are sitting at home lonely. Go out and have some fun. Ignore everyone's titles, have a few drinks and forget about how much you hate your job. It will make you feel better. Now if I can only follow my own advice

[houseelf]

Most of the morons I know have letters behind their names. Yet these degreed individuals don't have a clue about how the real world works. For credibility's sake I should mention that DH and I work with credentialed morons all day long.

Seriously, do NOT be impressed by degrees. Some people lord their education over others and its a disgusting sort of academic snobbery. Realize that these edu-ma-cated people probably just have different circumstances than you. Besides, you can always go get some letters yourself. I assure you that when you matriculate to some fine institution you will find that stupidity cuts across all socioeconomic and educational planes. But that is just my jaded opinion.

Kelly

I guess I'll go....it's more of a party than a dinner, though, so it will be a room full of doctors and me. Seriously, I get a complex about this sort of situation.

Part of the reason why I hesitate to try a bunch of different jobs for a year is that my resume already makes me look like a job hopper, which is something employers don't like. I've had 3 jobs since law school, and I graduated law school 3 years ago. That, and the fact that my jobs were in 3 totally random areas--medical research, journalism, and legal secretary--not to mention a few months at the mall thrown in for good measure--already brands me as someone who is not desirable to hire.

What I wish I could find is how to figure out what the best career for me would be. I know what I do and don't want in a job. But I don't know how to figure out what type of job/career would work best with that.

For instance, what I do not want in a career is:
1. desk job
2. a job where I deal primarily with papers all day (like law)
3. a job where my opinions/ideas are not valued or needed
4. a job where I stil behind a computer all day

I've already had several jobs that shared all of these qualities, including my current one, and I've strongly disliked them all. What I do want out of a career is:

1. not a desk job
2. a nurturing, not adversarial career (unlike law)
3. a job where I have contact with people a lot
4. a job where my ideas and input are valued
5. a job with a high level of responsibility

I've never found a job that had any of these characteristics. I think it sends a bad signal to employers when you keep bouncing around from field to field like I have.

People who have careers that they're passionate about, where they feel valued and needed and like their contributing something--that's what I want. Currently my job and my past jobs have provided none of those feelings--only dread.

With regard to the friends issue, I think making friends in a city where you know no one is really hard. I tried meeting people off of Craig's List, which didn't work out, and I even formed a women's brunch group , hoping I'd meet people, but that didn't happen either. I don't understand why people will respond to my Craig's List ads, and then we'll go out a few times and then that's it, I never hear from them again. This happens so frequently that I wonder if it's me--what I'm doing wrong. I always had great friends in college and law school, so I'm thinking it can't be anything too awful about my personality.

[Laker]

I hear you. I am a new lawyer and I am going to be working as a public defender soon. We are relocating to a new city 5 states away, where I know no one basically. I am not positive that I want to be a litigation attorney and it is a bit nerve-racking, but I figure after a few years I will be able to handle any type of litigation. Anyway, I have worked as an engineer (was bored), a salesman (didn't like it, nor the travel involved), and now the law.

My plan is to start a solo practice when DW is finished with residency and we find our permanent location. Have you considered that? I want the flexibility in my career so that when we have a family I can leave my office on my terms. I was clerking in a law office and when talking to the principal attorney she stated that she would not change any amount of $ for the flexibility that she has to be with her kids. She only does divorce mediations now and charges $280/hr. Very little court for her as she hired an associate to handle all court dates. Pretty cush situation that I will be considering in the future. Estate planning and/or medicaid planning is a great field and can be very lucritive. PM me if you want specifics on that, I worked for a solo who did this and pulled down disgusting amounts of money. Anyway, there is really no adversary process (in the medicaid planning anyway) and very little in estates if you only limit your practice to trust work.

I have also considered working as a regulatory affairs specialist/analyst. You work for a drug or device company and submit regulatory applications for the drugs/medical devices to the FDA.

Have you thought about becoming a drug/medical products rep? I have a friend from law school who sells optical products to eye care professionals and likes it. Remember that medicine is full of paperwork. DW does intakes all night long while on calls and hates it. A major reason why she isn't going the primary care route. PA's that work in primary care often due admissions all day every day. That might not be what would work for you. I would definitely shadow before making that committment.

Hope that helps... I am worried that I may be in a very similar situation in a month from now...

Good luck!