Here goes nothing...

I, too, feel awkward writing introductions, but here goes nothing... :P



My husband is a PGY-5 in Otolaryngology and is Chief this year. He is currently interviewing for fellowships and I truly wish I could have found all of you when he was an intern. I can't say that I always feel like I have everything under control because let's face it --- I don't! But it does get easier although I always feel like we are venturing off into the unknown.



The one thing that I do not enjoy about my husband's residency is all the social events. We do not play golf and we never will so that excludes us from that activity. We don't go to the symphony or opera and that excludes us when the head of the department wants us to go to that. Seems like we are inflexible, yes, but when I have such limited time with my husband -- I am not going to spend it at activities that neither of us enjoy. We have made an effort this year to start going to more activities such as drug dinners (who can pass up a free meal?) and we even went to a barbecue this past weekend. Since we do not have children yet, it does seem awkward when everyone breaks into little groups, i.e., attendings, residents with children, me and my husband (not much of a group, huh?). My husband's program does not have any kind of social networking or support for spouses of residents which in my opinion, really stinks. When you pack your bags and move to a new place, you kind of hope that you will be able to become friendly with others in the same situation.



Enough complaining! I am a freelance writer and I also run in partnership a non-profit. We have no kids, but two great dogs. Throughout his residency our marriage has stayed strong and constant because of a lot of hard work and attention to making it a priority. I currently write a topic for Suite101.com titled "Families of Residents" and would love to interview anyone or use suggestions for ideas to discuss. Medicalspouse.org is one of the links in my topic.



Thanks and I look forward to speaking with all of you!

Marian

Marian,



It is nice to meet you! Congratulations on your husband being chief resident this year! Will this be your last year of trianing? Any ideas on where you will be going after this year? It sounds like you have an interesting career. Janet here is a technical writer and Claudia is finishing her MS in tech writing!



We have an Australian Shephard...what kind of dogs do you have?



I look forward to getting to know you too. Please put a link to your site in our links section...and I'll add it to the medicalspouse.org site as well!



Sincerely,



Kris
The Medical Spouse Network

Welcome Marian! Glad to have you. I can identify with the no kids thing- my husband and I don't have any either. That makes for some akward moments of silence when trying to have a conversation with some of the other spouses at the school-sponsored social events. Sometimes it feels like this is the most baby focused place on the face of the earth!!! I love children & want them, but don't want every conversation I have to revolve around them!



Anyway- I look forward to getting to know you!



Wendy

Thank you Kris and Wendy -- I am so pleased to see people responding so fast. Nice to know there are others out there like me!



We have two boxers and they are our "fur kids." This is my husband's last year of residency, but his fellowship may be a 1 or 2 year fellowship depending on the program. People just assume when they see that MD after his name that we have cash. Funny, huh? Considering how long he has been training and how much more training is ahead of him, seems like money is the last thing on his mind or that is in our wallets.



As for kids --- it is weird that children seem to be the one thing that brings everyone together. These very serious adults have no problems making goo goo faces at a baby. That part is nice. But we are not financially or emotionally ready to have children yet and know that in time we will and that is good enough for me. Besides, I have my father reminding me enough that I'm not getting any younger. Thanks Dad -- as if I didn't realize that myself!



Glad to be here and hope to continue talking with all of you!

Marian

As for kids --- it is weird that children seem to be the one thing that brings everyone together.



Hahaha...or pulls people apart! I would say that parents don't have more in common than say...med spouses...just being a parent does not mean automatic admission to an exclusive club of moms!



I say...welcome...as a parent of three, molecular biologist ( it feels so weird to say that!) and med spouse..... I think we will have plenty to talk about!



Kris

Welcome Marian! I'm a technical writer (with an MA in professional writing and rhetorical studies). I am currently in temporary "retirement" after having twins two years ago. Our girls were born in the last 6 months of residency, just before my husband wrote his board exams. We decided to wait to have children for many reasons, not the least of which was I wanted to stay home with them in the early years. On my husband's resident's salary in Toronto, that would have been impossible. So we waited--until I was almost 38! There are many advantages to being an "older parent" (but really, I still feel like I am in my early thirties, even now that I am 40). I say wait until it feels right. That is what we did and we got two amazing girls out of the deal.



My husband is a newly sprung radiologist. He's barely two years out of residency. I still feel many of the stresses that we experienced in residency, but it does get better!



Welcome to the group!



Janet

[DCJenn]

Welcome Marian-



I'm Jenn, spouse of a 2nd year military peds resident. We are child-free for now and our two furry children are of the feline variety (Darla and Rascal, aka Fat Bastard).



I am the Director of a facility that runs group homes for adults with developmental disabilities. I currently manage 8 but found out for sure yesterday that I will soon be getting rid of two to a new person. (yay!)



We have been very lucky- last years interns all get along really well and of all 14 there's really only one family that doesn't participate in any of the social activities. (which are normal- parties, picnics, happy hours, etc.) There is an auxilary organization but all (and I mean all) of their activities have been during the day during the week. (hello? some of us work- like 80% of the 2nd yr peds spouses! there's only 3 families with kids) There was one end of the year aux. function- a wine tasting at one of the Colonels houses with the General and his wife as special guest. Hmmmmm, how comfortable would we have been? I'm pretty sure the beloved would rather have cut his legs off.



Isn't it funny about the MD=$ in people's heads? I had the asst. human resources director say last week "well, look at you, you're even married to a doctor and you still drive a Saturn with three hubcaps" Instant seethe. (What I wanted to say was- the new porsche had been ordered but it wasn't exactly the right shade so we returned it-) People don't get that he is paid exactly what every other person of his rank (Capt.) and years of service ( is paid. They do get bonuses but not until residency is finished. UGH



Well, anyway- enough-



Welcome!



Jenn

Hey Marian welcome!!!





My name is Jason and my partner and I live in MNPLS. The rumor here is that Dan will also be the cheif next year although I am not so sure I am all that excited about it. I guess we will see. The gay thing offers a bit of a bent to the traditional residency experience I would admit, however those here on this board who knew me when I first found medicalspouse.org, will agree with me when I say that I believe for the most part our issues are the same.



I am always interested in promoting the cause and ironically am working with Dan's program to develop a "medical spouse boot camp"--I know you all saw that coming (marian I have been hounding people for a week now for ideas on this board). I would be interested in talking to you and maybe participating in the interview as a way to raise awareness for the need for this type of training.



In my former life (PR--Pre residency) I was a Community Services Manager for a municipality in the southwest and was also a statuatory agent for a sizeable non-profit there. As my grandma would say "what a coinkadink". I currently manage accounts and logistics for my employer here.



Welcome to the board. I will be interested to hear how your year progresses as a possible hint as to what we can expect.



We also have not taken advantage of many of the social events as we have been a little leary about everyone knowing about Daniel and I while he was an intern. Our view of physicians has changed substantially since we began this program and we have found more mean spiritedness then we expected. Blah blah blah. But all in all we are very lucky--Dan couldn't have found a better resident as he is a National Health Service Scholar and will spend a great deal of his carreer serving the medically underserved. He loves his program.



He was out all last night at the hospital managing his first birth as a G2--no intern--he was calling all the shots. I was bummed that he had to come home and then go right back to the hospital but I must say that I was very proud of him.



We are buying flowers for the new mom tomorrow morning as she was his first "on his own" delivery. Kris he was really beaming today.



Ok enough--obviously I have had too much Diet Coke today as I am writing a whole bunch--again welcome Marian



PS as always please forgive the typos

[Phoebe]

Hi Marian. I am another member here from time-to-time. My job doing research in psychiatry and getting ready for an addition to our family, a little girl in about 8 weeks is keeping me busy lately.



My husband is in his second year of a neonatology fellowship which he loves. We moved to our new place a year ago after the completion of his peds residency and getting married. The last year has brought lots of changes and I have learned a lot about being married to a physician since we met during his internship year.



I understand precious personal time is when it comes to making choices about social activities. We haven't attended many things but they are usually parties at an attending's house. My husband likes to spend a lot of time at home because he never sees it. I have said many times before, we own stock in Blockbuster. We might as well open a franchise after our baby is born. I think the auxillary at our hospital is comprised of mostly stay-at-home moms with most meetings held during the day. My job does not allow me the time to attend the meetings. Someone suggested the internet and message boards as an alternative information/support mechanism.



Anyway, welcome!



Jennifer

I just wanted to welcome you to the group! I find security in knowing that others have gone through what I am or will go through. I have learned a lot from reading the posts here. I hope you enjoy your stay!



Sincerely,

Christy

Welcome Marian.



This is a great diverse group of people. I love reading everyone's insights into this crazy life we lead as our significant others get through med. school/residency and after. It will be great to hear your insights to being married to a chief!



Robin

[houseelf]

Welcome Marian!



It is always great for those of us fairly new into the residency to hear about those who have gone ahead of us! We're glad you're here!



Kelly