Adding another male spouse to the mix

Hi. I am a Canadian electrical engineer married to a physician with a specialization in anaesthesiology (1992). We have two boys aged four and two.



I started searching the web for information on male spouses of female doctors and found that it is an extremely narrow topic -- with little or no information available. However, I did stumble across this website and a few others where this strange breed is rumored to occasionally surface.



Unlike most half-medical marriages, I (the spouse) often don't work a normal 9-5 workday and it is my spouse (the physician) who actually spends more time at home. That's not exactly the best way to maximize family income, but we can still afford to give our boys more toys than they would have access to at most daycare facilities -- and we've hired an excellent in-home childcare worker.



I'm looking forward to joining the discussions, and sometime soon I'll figure out how to get to the Mr. MD forum as well.



- Steve

Hi Steve...welcome to the group! There really is very little information out there for the male spouses and we've struggled to gather that information ourselves. We did initially start a "Mr. MD" section, but were hard pressed for information Perhaps you'd be interested in volunteering your services and helping us put together a page or two of good resources/articles for the male spouse? You aren't alone. We have several male members who come in and out either here or in the email ring.



We welcome your input in any forum!



My husband recently finished his residency and fellowship and we have just begun to pick things up and get life back to "normal" after training.......We have three children (two boys and one girl) and for now, I'm also staying at home. It doesn't maximize our income, but until the kids go to school I have decided to find a way to stay home with them....I have my MS in Molecular biology and hope to eventually go back to work in the lab or perhaps continue my graduate education.



I really look forward to getting to know you.



Kris

[Meenah]

Hi Steve,

I'm Luanne, I am an RN married to a Pulmonologist. We each have two teenagers, two in college and two in high school. Life does continue to have many unique side affects from the medical profession. I look forward to getting to know you.

Luanne

Hi Steve,



I'm Janet, another Canadian. Actually a US citizen who's lived in Canada since the age of ten. I'm married to my physician hubby (radiology). I'm a technical writer, currently at home raising our three year old twins.



What province are you in? We're in Alberta.



Welcome to the group!



Janet

[DCJenn]

Hi Steve!



Welcome to the group. You're definitely one of the few so it's nice to have another male voice.



I'm Jenn, we're about halfway across the workd from you in San Antonio, Texas where my husband is nearly done with his 2nd year in peds. (wow- where did the time go!)



Welcome-



Jenn

Kris, Luanne, Janet & Jenn,



Thanks for the welcome. (Still a newbie with these emoticons)



I was a little dissappointed to hear that the male forum had not really gotten going yet. Perhaps I will pitch in at some point, but for now I'll just dabble. The physician in the family sometimes complains that I get overcommitted and don't leave enough time for the kids. (Now ain't that a switch)



I'm from the Toronto area in Ontario. So far all I've seen of Alberta is the inside of the Calgary airport during trips to Saskatchewan and British Columbia. But, when the kids are older, we plan on skiing at Lake Louse. My wife is from Saskatchewan and knows the territory.



Lest the Americans feel left out, I've had the pleasure of working in the US (mid-state California and Bolder, CO) for short periods during the past few years. But, alas, I was always paid by the company back home in Canadian dollars. : -->:"> I haven't been to Texas yet, but I have been to Florida and Arizona.



-- Steve

Welcome Steve--

Glad to see your post here. Always nice to have engineers around (I grew up in Santa Clara/Silicon Valley)...Hope you find some camraderie here. It will be good to have your perspective...



Kate

I'm sorry Steve...we really went gangbusters for awhile trying to promote it, but we just didn't get many takers. For a while, our fearless leader for that dept. really went to bat and talked it up...we advertised at every medical website as well as MomMD and the end result was that the female physicians came on in...which is fine...somehow the word just didn't get out to the guys....



I'd like to put together a page on the website to address the needs of the male spouse before we relaunch the site in July...and maybe as we get to know each other better, you'll be able to give me an insight into the needs and I could see what I could do about finding some specific resources?.....the bottom line is that we are all in this boat together, and we need to find ways to support each other.



I noticed during the training years too, that the guys didn't end up attending any spouse functions...I thought that perhaps the men didn't need the support as much until I met a man who was a stay-at-home dad. He took his little girl to a mommy and me gymnastics class and although the moms were really friendly to him, he said that they never invited him to be a part of any playgroups, etc...and I wondered if the women isolate the men, or if the men have different needs? Perhaps the men bury themselves more in their work? Maybe spouse activities tend to focus too much on women?



Well, it's past my bedtime, so I'm just thinking aloud....sorry about that...



Kris

Welcome Steve! It *will* be great to have another perspective here! You have raised many, many issues that need to get out there re: gender roles, etc. I've never been to Canada but hope to visit there post-residency when we have some disposable vacation income!

Look forward to chatting with you!

Hi Steve,



We just moved from Toronto two years ago, where my husband did his residency and I worked in software development. I loved "T.O." and I grew up in Kitchener-Waterloo. My husband is from Calgary, so he really wanted to get back West. Small world!



Alberta is great, minus the strong Canadian Alliance contingent (I'm a Liberal). And minus the extra cold weather we've had of late.



If you're ever downtown, go to Young Thailand on Gerrard or Bistro Tournesol at Dupont/Spadina for me. I miss those restaurants!



Welcome to the board. Even if you are feeling outnumbered, the issues we all go through as spouses are often shared by many. So, I'm sure you will have a lot of common ground with many of us here.

[houseelf]

Hi Steve,



Welcome to our humble group, an eclectic mix of individuals who all share the common experience of being the other half of a medical marriage. Hopefully, you will find some comfort and common ground here. Welcome aboard! We look forward to your perspective.



Kelly