Hello and Med School Stress

[Michele]

Hello! I am a first year vet student, class of 2005. I'm thinking about small animal private practice, but I'm still open to other fields. My fiance and I have known each other for 10 years and have been best friends up until we stared dating 3 years ago...just got engaged a few weeks ago. He has applied to medical school for the class of 2006.



I saw a flyer for medicalspouse.com at the med admissions office. I was there staring at the pictures of the accepted class of 2006, desperatly searching for his face. I'm having a very hard time dealing with the fact we might be split up next year. I am also having a horible time understanding why he hasn't been accepted yet! He was accepted 2 hours away from where we both attend now. The school we attend now has a med school...a little higher ranked. So worst case: he goes to med school 2 hours away from me. Best case: we get to stay together here.



I know I should be grateful he's been accepted somewhere as it's hard to get in. But he's worked so hard and he's a smart guy. He studied for 6 months for the MCAT and scored well. He's well liked by peers and professors, has a great GPA, and participates in medical-related clubs as well as non medical related activites. (Sorry...I'm really proud...)



We've planned our wedding for next March. Booked a hall and everything....we're going to get married even if the first few years are long distance.



I guess besides my hello, I'm looking for anyone to say a few encouraging words. Something to help ease my mind. I'm trying to be supportive for him (he's more than slightly dissappointed he hasn't heard from his home school yet), but it's hard to hide my frustrations. Anyway, I guess that's it.



Michele

[DCJenn]

Welcome!



You'll find that we're a pretty supportive group- as we're all in various stages of this medical spouse journey.



You guys definitely have a full plate! If he gets in at a school that's two hours away- it will be difficult but it's doable! My husband and I dated for half of thrid year and all of fourth year and he was gone for 9 of the 14 months we dated and I was gone for one of them! So it can work- communication is the key.



Welcome to the group!



Jenn

[Meenah]

Welcome to the group. This is a great website with loads of support. Anything you may go through, someone here has been there or is there with you. Welcome.

Luanne

Hi Michelle,



Are you at UF? I posted up some signs right before I moved...I finished my MS in Mol Genetics/Micro in the College of Medicine this past year. My husband was doing an Infectious Disease Fellowship.





Med School Admissions can really be a crap shoot..and if he's waiting on UF it seems like they've had several problems this year that they are working out....many of their alumni were let down by the application system this year as well....



Maybe you two can find a place to live in the middle so that you'd each have an hour commute?



Welcome to the group. I can't say enough wonderful things about the men and women who make this community special. I look forward to getting to know you.



Kris

[houseelf]

Michele,



I feel for you being in the lurch! I will keep my fingers crossed for you guys. Let us know if you find out anything.



Welcome to the group! You have found a great group of people who are going through or have been in a similar situation. I look forward to chatting with you on the boards.



Kelly

[Michele]

I know I haven't posted a response. We were waiting to hear. He was rejected. We are in shock and very numb to the reality that we are being split up for the next three years. ( Michele

Michele,



Is he going to accept at the school that is 2 hours away? Have you two considered moving in the middle and each commuting an hour? I really feel for you...this must be so hard!!!!!!!



Kris

[houseelf]

Michelle,



I'm so sorry to hear this... Is there anyway that he could transfer after his first year to the closer school? Maybe there is a solution that hasn't revealed itself yet. Good luck and keep us posted.



Kelly

[Michele]

update!

I hadn't come back to give an update because we were busy and then the boards were down. But....

He got in! After he was rejected, he met with the secretary of admissions to find out what they didn't like about him or his application. She told him he didn't have enough community service hours logged. He was shocked as he had five to ten hours a week for 3 years and was still doing it during his last year of undergrad. So he asked if there was anything he could do since he felt he had been given an unfair chance. She said he could write a letter and she would submit it to the Chairman of the Admissions Committee and he would get an official letter back with a final decision. Four weeks later, still having not heard, we went to Tampa to look for an apartment for him, slowly resigning ourselves to being split up. We got back from Tampa on Sunday night and on Wednesday we received a call from the UF med admissions office saying the letter was waiting for him to pick it up. We went to get it and it said they made a mistake. He should've been put on the waitlist, and since they had accpeted everyone on the waitlist he could consider the letter a formal accpetance! We were very happy!!

So he started in August and I started my second year of vet med, and right now we're hitting some rough patches. I'm feeling a little neglected. Even though I'm in veterinary school and it's all similar medicine, I guess I'm a little more relaxed about school than most of the med students. He's trying to strike a balance between the pressure to study he feels from his peers and the amount of studying he needs to succeed. It's hard on me, but I'm trying. He has his first test on Friday, and I have tests Friday and the next week as well. Hopefully once he gets a little more used to the schedule and stress and testing expectations things will be easier.

As far as med and vet school goes, I can't believe how similar everything is. The nerves, arteries and muscles are very similar...with obvious differences in orientation (dogs walk on 4 legs, we walk on 2 - we walk on feet, dogs walk more on the balls of the feet). Also histologically tissues look really similar. It's nice to be able to talk about our classes without the other one going "what?!?"

Michele

oooooooops

Sorry..didn't mean to post as admin

[Michele]

Pathology is what I am leaning towards right now. I don't know exactly what it all entails, but I enjoy cutting up dead things and looking under a microscope...so it sounds like a match. I also don't know the job market for veterinary pathologists outside of a university. Maybe zoos?

He had his first test and didn't do all that well. He passed and doesn't have to take the test again, but he was below the average. He has never been below the average. Ever. Usually he sets the curve. I think he was too stressed, because when he was studying, he knew his stuff...and he still knows it. He didn't sleep at all the night before because he was too nervous. I think that had a lot to do with it. I feel badly because I don't know what to say or do to help him get over it. I guess there is nothing I can say or do. But I still wish I could help. I gave him plenty of space before the exam. I went into the lab with him, and offered to go over histo with him. (The benefits of having a fiancee ahead of you! ) And I gave him space before the exam. Just a kiss good luck. I know I didn't do anything wrong, but I wish I could've done more. I planned a dinner get together for the night of the exam, with a lot of friends. He really liked that. Being able to relax and not stress about his grade. But I still feel like there should be more I can do for him. I guess I'll learn over time.

The mentality is just so different between med and vet school. There are a few people in my class who don't feel like it's a "team sport" but on the whole, we help each other out. His class is so much more competitive than mine. Everyone is looking for that edge. It just doesn't seem conducive to learning and developing a sense of community. They are all collegues for goodness sakes! I guess the competition for residencies is on their minds. Not many people take residencies, though there are a few like ortho and ophtho that attract a crowd. I don't know. It's all something that's going to take a while for me to get used to.

Michele

Go Gators!

We just moved from G'ville in June... My partner graduated class of 2002... the 4th years now are a very competitive group... although the current 2nd years are a great group... I knew a few of them and my partner TA'd them as well. UF has a great med school... they really put out some great students, as my partner is learning out here on the West Coast. It's much more 'gunner' than out here at UC Davis!

The first 2 years are the hardest.... Give him lots of space!! My partner would study for 12 hours a day at least.... taking 1 hour to go run....the 3rd wasn't too bad... and fourth year... well, it's a great time! I loved Skit Night! Groovalicious rocked!! You should check out my website for pics! It's just generally a great group of people...and once they settle down a bit, it will become like family.

=) Carey