When to get married

Hi everyone,

My name is Beth and I'm dating a guy that will be in medical school in a year. We're not engaged yet, but we will be sometime this year. I was just wondering what people's thoughts were on getting married before starting medical school or waiting until after the first year. I am planning on going wherever he gets in to school, but if we're not married we won't be living together. Any thoughts would be much appreciated. Thanks!

Hi and Welcome...



Well, I think that choosing when to get married really is just dependent on when you both feel ready. I don't think that there is a magic time during life or medical school or residency when it is easier or harder...though I imagine that planning a wedding would be a bit more challenging during training? Go with your hearts..............and the rest will take care of itself.



Kris

[houseelf]

Hi Beth!



I agree with Kris, you will know when you are ready. Marrying a would-be physician definitely will take some logistical maneuvering to find the best time, but it is completely doable. Heck, I say if you absolutely know that you are meant to be and you're both ready, jump right in! Good luck with your decision!



I look forward to chatting with you more.



Kelly

Hi Kelly and Kris,



Thanks for the advice. My boyfriend and I definitely want to be together and I'm all for getting married before he starts med school. First of all, I don't want to wait....but I think it would be a whole lot easier for me to see him with his schedule if we were married beforehand. Even though he'll have to study etc. it's still nice for us to be around each other doing our own things. I feel that if we were just dating I wouldn't be able to see him as much because he would think that we needed a larger chunk of time or something set in stone to do. I know that I'll want to have plenty of activities to be involved in because I don't want to be lonely at home and start to resent his business. We're not sure where he'll be in med school yet, although I'm hoping for something around the area we're already in. Then we'd be close to family and friends, but his dream school is out East. He already told me that I'm in all the decision making, but I don't want him to compromise a choice because of me. I guess we'll see how that all plays out when he gets further into the process. I'm sure I'll have more questions as time goes on. Feel free to share about your experiences since I'm sure I'll be going through it all very soon.



Beth

[DCJenn]

Hi There!



We had exactly one opportunity to get married- the weekend he graduated from medical school. So, that made things easy! (HIs mother doesn't travel but conceded to the drive from California to DC for his graduation. We figured while we had a captive audience we might as well take advantage of it. He knew I wasn't moving unless we were married!



Jenn



(PS, welcome aboard!)

My husband and I were married before he even started medical school. It is definately not easy, but it is doable. You have to have a very strong marriage to get through tests, medical school, residency, exams, fellowships, exams again... etc.



Leslie

I second what Leslie said.



Jennifer