Marrying a resident...

Hello! My name is Analuiza, and am 24 yrs old. I have been together with James (a resident to- be) for the last 6 years. We went through his med school, tests(USMLE's), stress, and more together, and always managed to enjoy and love eachother. However, the time has come when, he has to move to another city and start his residency program, so we decided to marry, and stay together. The wedding is planned for next May, however, I AM SOOOOO WORRIED! I know this can sound somehow stupid, but I am worried about the financial situation we will be going through. I've heard they make around 35,000 a year during their first year. The thing is, I have NO idea if this is enough to pay for a living.



I am sure I want to marry him, ...I LOVE HIM! But I would love to hear advice from you all!...We have no children, and have no plans for them, but I still want to hear experiences, and other people telling me what it really means living on such a budget.



Can a couple live OK like this? is that possible? I'd really appreciate your comments and help!!



Have a great weekend!!!

Ana

[DCJenn]

Ana-



There is a lot to the financial situtation of residents. (Beyond what they make). I don't know what civilian residents average because my husband is in the Army and I'm guessing that it is different depending on the program and specialty. Also, you need to remember that 35,000 goes a lot further in some parts of the country than others. I can guarantee that if the only income you have is 35,000 you will have a very difficult time living in any of the big cities- East Coast, West Coast or Chicago, etc. Do you work?



The other thing to think about is all of the other living expenses that people incur. It's very hard to live a spartan lifestyle but it can be done. We all get tired of not being able to purchase things we need, let alone the things we want.



Being married to a resident also means that you will have a lot of time on your hands. So, if working is an option for you, I'd strongly recommend it- if for no other reason that it will give you something to do and a way to meet new people.



Hope this helps a little- and welcome to the group. Hopefully some of the others who know a little more about civilian resident incomes will let you know the real deal!



Jenn

Ana,



I can't agree more with Jenn. It is definately true that the salaries are quite low during residency..particulary when you consider the number of hours that they are working and the debt that they have already incurred just to get where they are. The money definately will stretch more in some places than in others....ie in SanFransisco, CA 35K would not get you as far as in Lubbok, TX. That is certainly a considation and there are some website you can visit to compare the cost of living and the difference that 35k would make in various cities. Try visiting homefair.com.



Welcome to the group.



Kris

[houseelf]

Ana Luiza,



Welcome to our boards! I know that you have to be anxious about all the changes, but take heart in the fact that you have already come through so many other changes. Yes, life will be challenging, but much more fulfilling when you follow your dreams.



There is no way around the truth, money will be tight, but it is manageable. Many families survive on one income. Best of luck with your new adventure!



Kelly

Jennifer! HELLO! Why are you so stumped? Did I say anything bad or "crazy"? ... Don't scare me!!!! By the way, thanks again for your advice and time....

Ana

Jenn and Kris: thank you so much for giving me moral support! It's really so important for me right now. I was talking to my fiance a couple of minutes ago, and I was telling him about me, finding this web page last night. I couldn't stop talking about the thigs I read. I know it is really hard to live with a resident, with just his income, but I really know we'll try hard to make it possible and bareable.



Our situation is somehow different, because he is British, and I am Swiss. He studied medicine here in Mexico, where we met, and where we have lived for the last 6 years, but we have both lived with our families, and never had any money problems. I am not expecting,( and don't want either) our families to help us during these years, so it is a real change, and it scares me to death!! The positive thing, is that we don't owe med school, and we don't owe money. Plus, we have no children, and no intention to have. I guess this is a huge PRO. However, the huge CON, is that as a Swiss citizen, I am not permitted to work. I have been reading about this, and it is pretty hard to do it. So it's not that I don't want to work, but I can't!! I studied a major in international affairs, and speak languages, so I thought I could maybe teach languages, or do something.



Going to the US, is going to be a HUGE change, not just a new "roomate" but a new budget, a new lifestyle and new friends! Please continue posting advice and thank you again for your support and time.

Ana

Wow, Ana! I am totally speechless (an uncommon thing for me)! I have such a wildly different situation from yours that I am lost in the advice department. Kristen has made a couple of international moves so she could probably give you some advice there and Jenn doesn't have kids so she can tell you about residency without children. Man! I've never been so stumped in my life! Good luck - it will all work out!



Jennifer

Welcome to the group, Ana! Living off of the $35,000 is doable but you may have to adjust lifestyles. You may also need to control your spending as well. In the game of money, it's all about how you play the game. If you only depend on the 35k for income, you may find yourself living in a neighborhood you are not used to but it all depends where you end up moving. Also, figure in the government takes about 25% for taxes of that figure and also taxes again on April 15th. Today, it's really hard for families to survive on just one income. However, it can be done. You will just have to adjust to another lifestyle. Hope this helps!



-Rachel

Ana Luiza,



Welcome to the group. We just started residency this year and we are getting $35,000 this year. I try to do medical transcription at home, which helps a little. Living on $35,000 can be done though! The key is living on a budget and living location. We have four children ranging from 10 down to 2. We are in Texas though, which is one of the better places to live on one income. First the housing is fairly inexpensive and there is no state income tax so you get a good portion of your income. Of course, I don't know how the taxes are going to hit us but ... we have a decent home and I think we will manage. It probably won't be easy but ... my parents said that their happiest times were when they had to be creative in their activities when they didn't have any money. It will work out for you! Good luck and welcome again to the board!



Robin

Ana,



My husband is a german citizen, and he came to the US after medical school. His visa issues were a bit different because we were married and I am a US citizen, but we've had many FMG friends and have dealt with some of the problems that you are describing.



The first question that I would ask you is if you are both planning on staying in the US or whether or not you plan on returning home...Also...do you think you will be ok to be at home and not working during that time? (finances aside)



Has he already signed on for a residency? If not, there are some things that you will really need to explore.....there are still programs that offer an H-1 visa...but they are truly the exception and not the rule!



You may want to consider applying for a work visa for yourself or a student visa (then you can study while he's doing residency )....depending on what your interest is...I know that the whole thing can be pretty confusing, but I'm willing to try and help in any way that I can...



Kris

My fiance already passed the tests, and is about to get his residency. This means, we don't know yet, where we're going, but he's getting spot for sure. Our plans are not clear yet. We would like to come back to Mexico after his residency, but it all depends on the oportunities and different situations we'll live in the US. I think we'll decide that after a couple of years in the US.



And, about me staying home.....well...I've always been a "house person", and love to be doing things in the house, I am extremely independent, and have never felt lonely. On the other hand, I am going to do a masters degree or something while he's doing his residency. I've been checking that thing out, and it seems pretty exciting!....there are several choices. (ie. I can do it via internet, or in an American University) So, I'm pretty sure I'll find domething to do to get my mind busy.



Kris, thank you so much for your interest! and your comments are really helping me..you have no idea how much!!!!!!..........



Ana

Ana,



You should check out our distance learning database....or if you are looking for a specific type of masters program, I'll be more than happy to help you find it. I love looking into those types of opportunities. I have taken two distance ed courses and thought they were great!



At least he is over the hurdle of the USMLEs....



ooops, my husband needs the computer...I'll write more later.



Kris

Hi Ana!!!!



Just i can tell you that everything will be fine.

Is pretty difficult sometimes the financial situation i know how you feel , i felt the same when i came from Mexico to New York , big change.



The first thing that you can do is apply for your work permit , the worst immigration office are California, Texas and New York, you have to wait a lot i apply for my work permit in January and i just got it is a headache but you have to do it.



Let me tell you that the money depend of the city , here in New York the lowest salary for a PGY1 is 39,000 and the highest is 48-49000 before taxes, and for taxes you pay around 8-10,000 and the cost of living just imagine, i don't wanna scare you is just difficult.



Now for what residency is applying your fiance ??? My husband is US citizen but he went to Medical school in Mexico so he has to apply like a foreign student and that was a red flag for him is much difficult to get a position believe me .

I don't know if we had a bad luck or what he did excellent in his usmle's scores and he had 7 interviews and he don't match we have to do it in scramble and do you know in how many programs we apply???? 80 we spend a lot of money too anyway. I just want to let you know my experience maybe you will have a good luck and match .



At the time of the match days we are so stress that both can't sleep , because i didn't have any documents for immigration i couldn't work and because we feel that he probably don't find a spot . He was doing Fifth Pathway in fact friends of him has to wait 2 years just to find a spot in Fifth Pathway Program.



Anyway if you have any questions, please feel free to send me and e-mail. sorrentinocruz@hotmail.com.



By the way where are you living??? I am from Guadalajara.



Take care

Ludy*

Dear Ana,



First, let me second some of the advice you have already received ... $35,000 will go farther in smaller cities and in the southern US. My husband is an intern in Temple, Texas which is right in the middle of Texas. We are shopping for a house to purchase, but in the mean time we are renting a nice 2 bedroom, 2 bath apartment less than a mile from the hospital for $475 a month. There aren't many expensive restaurants around here, but we eat out a couple of times a week and go to movies and buy clothes and everything on $37,500. Again, Texas has no state taxes so that helps and obviously the cost of living in inexpensive.



But like other ladies have advised you, you need to sit down with your fiancee and make a budget. If you are going to New York or Boston or Chicago, things are going to be tight, because rent is HORRIBLE even for a tiny, one bedroom apartment. But talk this out with your fiancee now so you won't worry about it later.



Second, my husband is also a foreign medical school graduate and believe me, getting a residency anywhere is worth struggling for a year or two. Remember that after he finishes a year he can always transfer if you guys are miserable even though this is not the best thing to do. There aren't as many choices for FMG (foreign medical school grads), so it really isn't just your fiancee's choice, but where he gets accepted. And believe me, it all has a way of working out . We are soooooooooo grantful for the opportunity to have him in a residency that the money wasn't an issue ... and we were a two income home with him working in medical research and myself in engineering. So don't worry and fret ... go sit and make a plan



Bye for now,

Aisha

Let me second the comment that rent in certain areas will KILL you financially. We are in Boston and the CHEAPEST place we could find was a two bedroom, 1,000sq.ft. townhouse for $1375/month (we actually talked the owner down - he originally wanted $1450/month for it)! That is actually a really, really good price for the Boston area if you can believe it! Where we were living last year in Richardson (suburb north of Dallas, TX) our rent for a 2,000sq.ft. 3 bedroom/2 bath/2 car garage free-standing HOUSE (with front and back yards, etc) in a really nice, quiet neighborhood was $1350/month - and that was really high (but the area was so nice). So, you pay twice as much for a similarly sized place here in Boston. The place we're in right now would probably rent for $600/month in the Dallas area (considering location, of course - we'll assume quiet suburbs). Anyway, geographical location is a big thing to consider when looking at your finances and how you will survive during residency. Expensive places to live: New England, New York, parts of California, Oregon, Washington, many larger cities are more expensive. In general, though, places in the south and plains states will run cheaper rent-wise and there are some outstanding residency programs in those areas (Washington U. in St.Louis, Baylor and UT Houston in Houston, UTSW in Dallas, Atlanta has a good program - can't remember the name, Vanderbilt in Tennessee).



BTW we have four children and are OK financially - but that is really because my husband is an active duty Air Force officer so the pay is a bit better than what the residents make around here (residents bring in $38,000 - $40,000 around here).



Jennifer