Hello

Hi there everyone!

I have been searching for a forum to share my life married to a fourth year surgical resident (we live in Canada)...
To be quite honest, this is probably the worst time of our..well, my life. I have a 4 month old beatufil baby and am a psychology masters grad. We married when he was just ending med school. All was well in the beginning, but through the years, things have changed. We don't have sex-we have not had sex in 14 months (since I got pregnant)-which was probably the only time we had sex that year. Is it just us, or is this a common problem among residents?surgeons?
Please help-I could use some real honest advice here.
thank you!
Mrs.Med

[DCJenn]

Welcome Mrs. Med-

Truth be told we've done lots of polls and you have a double whammy of residency and new baby.

We've covered these and lots more in the forums so check out all of the other places.

We have at least one other Canadian (I'm sure we have more but they're still in hiding).

Jenn

[MissCrabette]

Welcome to the forums Mrs.Med. I can't offer any advice on the sex and baby topics but I'm sure you're not the only one struggling with these issues. I'm looking forward to getting to know you.

Hi There!

I am also in Canada (East coast) and my DH is a 5th yr surgical resident....it's crazy to say the least, feel free to PM me and we can compare notes

[Lo]

Welcome!

[houseelf]

Mrs. Med.

Greetings from your "southern" neighbor (Minnesota) .

I encourage you to read the archives. Many, many of our members have been there, done that.

Kelly

[Momo]

Hello & welcome! Congratulations on the new baby! And great big for being married to a surgical resident! I am sure you will find helpful info & stories that you'll be able to relate to on here...just look around.

Mrs. Med-
About the sex issue: we don't even have a baby and have had similar problems!! It usually involves DH falling asleep on the couch, in front of the computer, at the dining room table, etc. So, just getting him to the bedroom or even on top of the dining table is our issue.

Something that has helped us is when I take the lead and be the sexually adventurous one. This takes all the pressure and thinking off DH. Even though money may be tight, I have found it helps if I "dress up"- you can find some pretty cute and mildly racy stuff at Target. Men ARE visually stimulated. And you can do some discreet shopping at drugstore.com for goodies- if you know what I mean.

Also, just talking about it in a nonconfrontive way helps. Reassure DH that sex doesn't always have to lead to double mind-blowing orgasms every time. Just being intimate (and close) is sometimes all that matters.

Was this post too racy??? Hope not. I'll go back to watching "Debbie Does Dallas", now.

Addendum to my post:

I just remembered that you are in Canada- ya'll may not have Target, where you live. Anyways, my point is that sometimes just a simple lacy nightgown shows that you care about turning him on, in a way that an old tshirt or Winnie the Pooh nightie can't.

Hope things get better for you in the bedroom. I know from experience what a dry spell can be like.