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Premarital Sex

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  • Premarital Sex

    I figured it would get moved here eventually, so I'll just start it off here, commentless. I just found it VERY interesting.

    http://www.cnn.com/2006/HEALTH/12/19/pr ... index.html

    NEW YORK (AP) -- More than nine out of 10 Americans, men and women alike, have had premarital sex, according to a new study. The high rates extend even to women born in the 1940s, challenging perceptions that people were more chaste in the past.

    "This is reality-check research," said the study's author, Lawrence Finer. "Premarital sex is normal behavior for the vast majority of Americans, and has been for decades."

    Finer is a research director at the Guttmacher Institute, a private New York-based think tank that studies sexual and reproductive issues and which disagrees with government-funded programs that rely primarily on abstinence-only teachings. The study, released Tuesday, appears in the new issue of Public Health Reports.

    The study, examining how sexual behavior before marriage has changed over time, was based on interviews conducted with more than 38,000 people -- about 33,000 of them women -- in 1982, 1988, 1995 and 2002 for the federal National Survey of Family Growth. According to Finer's analysis, 99 percent of the respondents had had sex by age 44, and 95 percent had done so before marriage.

    Even among a subgroup of those who abstained from sex until at least age 20, four-fifths had had premarital sex by age 44, the study found.

    Finer said the likelihood of Americans having sex before marriage has remained stable since the 1950s, though people now wait longer to get married and thus are sexually active as singles for extensive periods.

    The study found women virtually as likely as men to engage in premarital sex, even those born decades ago. Among women born between 1950 and 1978, at least 91 percent had had premarital sex by age 30, he said, while among those born in the 1940s, 88 percent had done so by age 44.

    "The data clearly show that the majority of older teens and adults have already had sex before marriage, which calls into question the federal government's funding of abstinence-only-until-marriage programs for 12- to 29-year-olds," Finer said.

    Under the Bush administration, such programs have received hundreds of millions of dollars in federal funding.

    "It would be more effective," Finer said, "to provide young people with the skills and information they need to be safe once they become sexually active -- which nearly everyone eventually will."

    Wade Horn, assistant secretary for children and families at the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, defended the abstinence-only approach for teenagers.

    "One of its values is to help young people delay the onset of sexual activity," he said. "The longer one delays, the fewer lifetime sex partners they have, and the less the risk of contracting sexually transmitted disease."

    He insisted there was no federal mission against premarital sex among adults.

    "Absolutely not," Horn said. "The Bush administration does not believe the government should be regulating or stigmatizing the behavior of adults."

    Horn said he found the high percentages of premarital sex cited in the study to be plausible, and expressed hope that society would not look askance at the small minority that chooses to remain abstinent before marriage.

    However, Janice Crouse of Concerned Women for America, a conservative group which strongly supports abstinence-only education, said she was skeptical of the findings.

    "Any time I see numbers that high, I'm a little suspicious," she said. "The numbers are too pat."

  • #2
    Well....my great-uncle arrived "early" in the early 1910s...and I'm pretty sure my great-grandmother wasn't visited by an angel.

    as for the abstinence only push- I say great in theory. I don't think it works and I don't think it's a wise expenditure of money. I'm sure that abstinence education works very well on an individual level with individual families.

    Dysfunctional, absent or addled parents aren't going to be very effective teachers and it's those kids who need to learn the cause/effect thing.

    Heck look at our nephews and neices in California- dysfunctional parents+dysfunctional kids= pregnancies at ages 14, 15, 17, and 20 (three different people)

    Jenn

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    • #3
      I think abstinence only education is crap. It doesn't work. Period.

      I knew the old people were getting funky. My 85 year old grandmother has said things to me that I haven't heard on TV. :>
      Heidi, PA-S1 - wife to an orthopaedic surgeon, mom to Ryan, 17, and Alexia, 11.


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      • #4
        Well, I know a lot of people for whom abstinance-only education did work. They're probably that entire 5% portion of the survey.

        Anyway, abstaining from extra-marital sex in our society is like drinking alcohol - it's part of the culture. You have to have very strong convictions not to do either of those things. And, I'm not surprised that 95% of the population doesn't share those convictions with the abstain-ers. I mean, look at the alcohol example - trying to prohibit it's use in the US didn't really work out too well. Yes, this means we're going to continue to have the societal problems of alcoholism. And, in the area of extramarital sex it means we're going to continue to have the societal problems of STD's, abortion, and unwed mothers. It's an unfortunate situation and costly both monetarily and emotionally.

        Quite frankly sex education is parents' responsibility. It's a sad state of affairs when parents rely on the schools to teach their children such an integral part of life. I don't think it should even be an issue (ie what type of sex-education schools teach) because it's a parental issue. Is it really true that the vast majority of parents in this country have decided not to teach their children one of the most valuable lessons they will ever learn???
        Who uses a machete to cut through red tape
        With fingernails that shine like justice
        And a voice that is dark like tinted glass

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Rapunzel
          Well, I know a lot of people for whom abstinance-only education did work. They're probably that entire 5% portion of the survey.

          Quite frankly sex education is parents' responsibility. It's a sad state of affairs when parents rely on the schools to teach their children such an integral part of life. I don't think it should even be an issue (ie what type of sex-education schools teach) because it's a parental issue. Is it really true that the vast majority of parents in this country have decided not to teach their children one of the most valuable lessons they will ever learn???
          Well, while I agree that a very small minortity of people do abstain from sex until marriage, I think that these people are getting their information AT HOME. I think school abstinence only education is crap.

          I do think schools should teach about STDs, pregnancy, condoms, and other methods of protection including abstinence with parental options to opt out. As much as I would love to say that it should be a parental responsibility, much of the time, it is sadly left to strangers. I would prefer, at least, if this information is comprehensive. This type of comprehensive education has been shown, I believe, to decrease the amount of teen pregnancies and STDs whereas abstinence only education is again, crap.
          Heidi, PA-S1 - wife to an orthopaedic surgeon, mom to Ryan, 17, and Alexia, 11.


          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Rapunzel
            I don't think it should even be an issue (ie what type of sex-education schools teach) because it's a parental issue. Is it really true that the vast majority of parents in this country have decided not to teach their children one of the most valuable lessons they will ever learn???
            Yes that is true. Frankly, I don't think you can rely on the "family structure" to do much of anything anymore. With divorce, poverty, mis- or un-educated parents, alcoholics, addicted parents, teen parents, etc., there isn't exactly a whole lot going for familial education. Now, I know that isn't true with everyone, or hardly anyone here that I know of, but my seemingly normal and divorced family still hasn't had a sex talk with my SIXTEEN year old little brother. I made my 20 year old brother do it.

            Just goes to show, you NEVER know what is going on at home. It MUST be taught in the schools.

            Gee, that whole "not commenting" idea I had sure lasted a long time...

            Comment


            • #7
              Is it really true that the vast majority of parents in this country have decided not to teach their children one of the most valuable lessons they will ever learn???
              Unfortunately, that's not all of the valuable teaching experiences they're opting out from. (Reading, writing, socially acceptable behavior, responsibility, etc are a few that immediately come to mind)

              Is it preferable that schools teach any and all of the above? Of course not. But if the parents can't/won't/don't know themselves then what other option is there? I'd bet that 95% of the clients here are far more interested in getting their methadone or their heroin than in any aspect of their children's education. and that's the kids that haven't already been removed by CPS.

              (which gets back to our new program to work with the addicted pregnant women to try to take baby steps in educating them)

              Jenn

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              • #8
                I agree with Jenn and Stellava -- unfortunately school is the ONLY place some children are going to learn about these issues. Sad but SO TRUE.

                I wish every family sat down with their children and had a serious discussion or discussions about sex, marriage, premarital sex etc. Unfortunately it doesn't happen. Where else will these kids learn the facts? From their peers? Nope.
                Flynn

                Wife to post training CT surgeon; mother of three kids ages 17, 15, and 11.

                “It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” —Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets " Albus Dumbledore

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                • #9
                  Yeah, I am not a fan of abstinence-only sex ed for the reasons already mentioned. Kids need to know the facts and how to protect themselves. However, I am in favor of encouraging kids to be abstinent as long as possible, and not just giving them all this information as if it is a foregone conclusion that they will be (or should be) putting it into practice ASAP.

                  Sally
                  Wife of an OB/Gyn, mom to three boys, middle school choir teacher.

                  "I don't know when Dad will be home."

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    With great respect for those who feel differently for personal and/or religious reaons, I am ALL FOR premarital sex. Societies or groups that strictly deter premarital sex end up with young people getting married extremely young - - some of those young people are ready for marriage; some are not. I would MUCH rather have my (future) children have responsible premarital sex than get married out of sexual frustration!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      in the perfect little world i live in, otherwise refered to as a bubble by dh.....my kids WILL NOT have premarital sex.

                      but we will be teaching them everything they need to know just incase they decide to pop my little bubble.
                      ~shacked up with an ob/gyn~

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I talked to a very liberal dad recently that actually chose to have the "I don't think you are ready to be sexually active" talk with his 15 year old son and......(wait for it)....his girlfriend. He laughs about it - but I'm sure dad''s little chat with the budding lovebirds captive in the car put a damper on the mood quickly. I'm not sure that's the right approach for everyone. It's just interesting.

                        I'm all for biologically based school programs. I think they should get in to the mechanics. I think they should also stress STD and pregnancy info. Facts. I think they should approach the question of premarital sex with caution. We recently got a packet from the school about alcohol abuse that had to be completed in the first semester by both the parent and the child together. It makes it very likely that the topic will be covered. Maybe they could do something like that?

                        I think the study itself is intriguing. I'm guessing that a lot of that premarital sex was before age 30 -- and BETWEEN marriages. I'd like to see the data on pre-ANY-marriage sex. You know what I mean? I'd guess a larger percentage of folks hold out before a first early marriage -- but may divorce and opt to remain sexually active before marrying again later in life. Just a thought.
                        Angie
                        Gyn-Onc fellowship survivor - 10 years out of the training years; reluctant suburbanite
                        Mom to DS (18) and DD (15) (and many many pets)

                        "Where are we going - and what am I doing in this handbasket?"

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          FWIW, the Guttmacher Institute, which conducted this study, is heavily supported by Planned Parenthood and other strongly pro-choice groups, so you have to assume some bias. (Which exists on both sides, don't get me wrong.)

                          Sally
                          Wife of an OB/Gyn, mom to three boys, middle school choir teacher.

                          "I don't know when Dad will be home."

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by sms92
                            With great respect for those who feel differently for personal and/or religious reaons, I am ALL FOR premarital sex. Societies or groups that strictly deter premarital sex end up with young people getting married extremely young - - some of those young people are ready for marriage; some are not. I would MUCH rather have my (future) children have responsible premarital sex than get married out of sexual frustration!
                            I also don't think that permarital sex is a huge evil. There are millions of us who responsibly waited until we were mature enough to handle sex and its consequences. Yes, parents should teach their kids sex-ed, but in reality it's better to get it somewhere (i.e. school) than not at all.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I'm not sure what we're debating. I have only random points to offer:

                              I believe the numbers bolded in the article are probably true or close to true.

                              My guess is that the old folks did, indeed, get it on, but more often than now it was after they engaged or close to engaged, and with their future spouse. Not exactly Sex and the City.

                              I'm also in the camp where premarital sex doesn't conflict with my values or morals at all. In my ideal bubble world my kids will totally have premarital sex. But they'll make only choices that they (and their partners) will feel good about later. And they'll be more highly discriminating than the average person is now, and they'll be adults when they start. And by adults, I mean they're not living under my roof. So no, your prom date can't stay over in your room, but no, I'm not going to advise you to marry someone you've never slept with.

                              I agree that abstinence until marriage is a tenable goal for an individual, but think it is not at all a realistic expectation society-wide. I think abstinence-only education is a bad idea for all the usual reasons. (The abstinence part I'm fine with, the "only" part is the problem.)
                              Married to a hematopathologist seven years out of training.
                              Raising three girls, 11, 9, and 2.

                              “That was the thing about the world: it wasn't that things were harder than you thought they were going to be, it was that they were hard in ways that you didn't expect.”
                              Lev Grossman, The Magician King

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