Edwards remains in the race...

[pstone]

He should do what he wants, but who would vote for him anyway...cringe

[Vanquisher]

Nothing is more important than family. Nothing. He is an ass.

I think it's tricky though...fer her. If I were dying and knew that my DH was going to give up his dream to take care of me...I think I would be miserable! We have friends and she was diagnosed with cancer last year and begged him to finish residency...even though it meant not seeing him (he is a neurosurg resident)
I presonally don't think that he is doing what would be right for us, but who knows?

[PrincessFiona]

Weeeellllll.....

When you're sick, you can't sit around focusing on ....being sick. There is something incredibly empowering and therapeutic about life going on.....and trying to do the normal day-to-day things. Not to bring myself into this but I remember my dad coming to visit and getting angry with me....for having an argument with Thomas, for running around like a chicken with my head cut off to get kids places...for maybe stretching the limits of what I *should* have been doing....and I finally said "would you be happier if I just...laid in bed with the blinds pulled down?". His comment to me was that I was acting like things were "normal" and that they weren't....but ot me, it was important for things to go on...regardless of the outcome for me.

If DH had been applying for fellowships and interviewing, I would have siad "go on....get out of here" and I would have meant it. If he had been trying to be president...I would have wanted to stand at his side in support as long as I could...an act of love....a way of not giving up and laying down and dying...Being there for each other doesnt necessarily mean sitting around on the sofa staring at each other all day...the campaign may be something special and fun that pulls them together more...maybe SHE doesn't want to give that up?

I can't tell you how relieved I was after being diagnosed when dh and I finally had our first fight...He followed me around with a video camera for days after the diagnosis...made videos of our dinners and at christmas it was pretty much pointed at me and I finally just practically threw the camera away to get him to stop. "Enough...I'm living for God's sake". All I wanted was to experience life normallly...the ups and downs...together...

Elizabeth Edwards knows that she is going to die...and she has chosen to die....while living...and putting healthcare and cancer in the spotlight.

It's terribly sad for the Edwards family ...and Tony Snow as well. Life is so damned unfair....

kris

[DCJenn]

I completely agree wiwth everything Kris said.

Besides, we have to remember that he's NOT president, he's running for president. If she believes that its important for him to continue then more pwer to them both.

I don't think that it's our palce to say what any family does in this situation.

and man, poor Tony Snow. 51 and he's already had his entire colon removed.

Unfortunately, neither one has a ton of time left on this earth so I say lets let them live as they choose.

Jenn

[Vanquisher]

K, I get that life goes on, but I still maintain that he's an ass. No, I don't know what's going on behing the scenes, but if *I* were running for president and my spouse were dying, F that.

But, I don't believe in an afterlife either. I believe here is all you have, and I want to have as much time with my family as I can. No, I wouldn't want to spend the final days, weeks, months moping around in bed, but I can think of better things to do than kissing asses and campaigning. There are mai tais and beaches and snorkeling, breakfasts in bed and dancing and sharing memories and making them.

I think running for president is selfish. I think you have to be a pretty big self-centered bastard to want the job for the most part anyway, but c'mon there'll be another race. In 4-8 years, there will be another race. There won't always be another embrace, another talk, another "I love you."

Would I ask my husband to quit residency? I've asked before!

No, I would want him to go on, BUT only because my children need a steady future with $$ coming in from somewhere. I would probably ask that he took a leave of absence at least. Running for president when you already have butt loads of money isn't the same thing.

[PrincessFiona]

Heidi...maybe SHE enjoys being part of the team...having the support of the people around her. Maybe this is what SHE wants....Yes, there is another campaign, but it isn't like she is going to die tonight (most likely) and if he isn't running, what do they do with each other?

We don't know the health status and predictions...how much time that they do spend together on the campaign trail, etc.

[migirl]

I agree, it's impossible to say what another family should do under those circumstance. BUT, if it were me ... I sure as heck wouldn't want to spend my final days running around with my husband and family on the campaign trail.

DH think Edwards should drop out, but I can understand Elizabeth wanting to continue.

I agree w/Kris and Jenn. Not the choice I would make (I think ... who can say for certain unless you've been in those shoes?).

It is so terribly sad for the children.

And Tony Snow, too. Very, very sad.

I wonder who is next? These things tend to come in 3's. There should be one more from the policital arena announcing soon.

[Vanquisher]

I said I didn't know what is going on behind the scenes. Maybe it is what she wants. It just wouldn't be what I would want. And, maybe he whole-heartedly told her he would quit. Maybe she said, "NO! You have to do this. YOU have to run for president." Maybe she did.

Just not what I would want, that's all.

Plus, my dislike for John Edwards obviously clouds my judgement on this - you have to know.

[SuzySunshine]

Not the choice I would make either but the other thing I think is odd - this "election" is still 20 months away - why not cut back for a few months see how things go and then decide. Not quit completely but just scale back your schedule. I agree that family is most important and that she should be part of the decision.

We had a resident lose his wife in a car accident here a few months ago. After two weeks he was back at work, everyone asked to help in anyway possible but he just needed to get back to as much of a normal life as possible.

[Stella]

I'm with Heidi and Tara. I'm way too selfish to say "Go on! Rah! Rah!" and I'd probably be pissed if I even had to ASK. It should be a given if you ask me. Travel, go sightseeing. Do all those things you would do knowing there might not be a tomorrow and do them together!

I maintain that Edwards is just an ass. It's not like he's going to win anyway.

But... that's just my opinion and what I'd do...

I totally see the "live as though it's your last day on earth" logic, and assume that that is what I would want. BUT ... I can also see how the "live as though it's your last day on earth" might feel like throwing in the towel and saying the cancer has won. That - to me - would be the most terrifying, debilitating thing EVER.

I can only say that I cannot judge anyone who's shoes I hope to NEVER be in. I hope that this is truly HER decision and what she wants, and if it is - more power to her.

This was debated on Diane Rehm's show this week. Her friends *say* she wants this. I'm wondering if that isn't so, she seems very into the political scene when she talks. Also they had their press release of her health status at the very place they had their wedding reception. I think that says alot of them doing it together. I think political marriages are just as complicated as medical - we don't exactly get what they give up, or understand the support given by the spouse. I say if they give it a go, and want to, they can always drop out if it gets to tough. As far as voting him into the presidency, it just depends on who the republic fill in would be.

The talk on the show, was not what would you do if you were in the situation, but if it was truly a bad idea if they felt they could handle it. They touched on Roosevelt's health, and others, Calvin Coolage apparently lost his teenage son while in the presidency from a weird infection that came from a tennis injury I *think* and died of blood poisoning, and Coolage (sp?) apparently went into depression.

I think it's a bad idea, because there is no way to know how/if/when you will break down if your long time spouse should die. But the counter aurguement was you can't honestly number her days so why should she give up her/their life goals?



Regardless I feel bad for them.

I can also see how the "live as though it's your last day on earth" might feel like throwing in the towel and saying the cancer has won.

I can see Genevieve's point of view in that "sipping mai tais" seems artificial because it is NOT how you live everyday life. Sitting on a beach all day would probably remind you that this is not normal, and you would be dying soon. Which would be one damn depressing vacation.

However, I can also see Heidi's "sipping mai tais" POV, in that from what I have read she hasn't had much chance to get away and have some fun doing something exotic. In my opinion she would need that dream/fantasy vacation before dying. However, I am sure the Edwards family has taken some pretty sweet vacations (and we know who really paid for them- sorry, just had to get that jab in there) and it might not mean as much to them.