Purity Dance

[Momo]

I heard about this on TV...I agree Yuck. It like a psudeo marriage/ reception for daddy & daughter.

That is just creepy. Blech.

How about teaching our daughters to value themselves and their bodies?

That is a far better path and message.

I'd be interested to hear from someone who has actually seen / knows someone who has been to one of these. Is it described fairly? If so .... ummmm ... no thanks.

And what about the boys? Do they have something similar with mom? Who do they think they're daughters are going to be having sex with??

That's a good point, Jenn, the article might be sensationalizing it a bit. But still...
It does seem very, very one-sided. And creepy.

It's not like me to be slow-to-judge, I know. I just try to step back these days whenever Evangelical Christians are mentioned, b/c I know that Sally considers herself to be one, and I find her totally reasonable. What is described in the artilcle DOES fall under my preconceived notions ... I just hope it's a smaller, very, very conservative offshoot.

[pstone]

Talking with your children and sharing values is great, teaching them how 'you' do and think about something is great, that is just creepy for sure.

Teach them to respect themselves not make promises.

[DCJenn]

I'm quite sure Sally will get the heebie jeebies for sure.

(except I think they're on the road to come and see me...and all of the other people they know here...but it's all about me.)

Jenn

I'm quite sure Sally will get the heebie jeebies for sure.

I figured she would, I'm just curious to see if she knows anyone who has done it. Tell her I said "hi!".

[Vishenka69]

I'm in the creepy camp too. I am also a strong believer in "what my parents don't know, won't hurt them (or me)."

Christian here ready to speak

Well..... it's a nice idea. That's about it. I did not do the ceremony, but when I was in high school True Love Waits, was very popular. Basically you'd write a contract that said you would wait till marriage to have intimacy. Everyone did them, most broke them eventually. But I think the idea of having someone do an act to think about a consequence can be helpful, but more for a short period of time. Such as having students put on special glasses that make eye sight disportionate during an anti drinking talk in school. While the effect may make an initial impact, many (most?) young people eventually have some alcohol before the legal age. On the same topic of purity, it was big to give a purity ring when I was in high school to the daughter from the parents. My sister our senior year decided she wanted one (at the time I'm pretty sure it was cause everyone else was doing it and it was a solid gold ring...) . So my parents got her one. Then months later my dad asked me if I wanted one (probably thinking twice about me since DH and I had just started dating) - I said no.... It wasn't cause I didn't want to stay pure till marriage but about how I didn't want to duplicate the same thing my sister did - I like to be unique Yeah I'm pretty sure my dad was totally distraught about it. Little did he know like 2 months later I'd be secretly engaged I didn't see it weird that my sister did this with my parents, but didn't want to do the same act. It's just an act and doesn't change your personal conviction either way. And no there is no ring or ceremony that I know of for boys - another issue all by itself. True Love Waits was for boys and girls, but it's just a piece of paper you fill out after hearing the good points of waiting to have sex - not a bad thing when you think about the percentage of folks with STDS these days....

I think if you are not in the culture that these kinds of ceremonies happen they seem even more weird - that you are forcing something onto the kids, and letting the father lord over the daughter. But often it's just a simple innocent act that ends up really not meaning anything in the long run, often, but does make a daughter think maybe a little bit more before having her first sexual act with someone who she thinks is cute or *loves her* (in the will marry me and stay true to me forever kind of love that most young girls think their feelings mean). Like anything with your kids you "try" to talk over hard issues with your kids, make an impact, but eventually the stumble through adolesence and young adulthood making some, and maybe all the same mistakes their parents made, and hopefully mature out of them.

So yeah it may seem creepy, but then again most of us don't get things certian cultures/religons do. I think one must keep it in the context of a Christian culture event, no more - and if that doesn't fit your thoughts of how you would do things with your child, then don't. Such as attachment parenting, organic/hippee living if that isn't how you would raise your child then dont, but really it's not truly harmful. I mean if your daughter gets her period at 11 and you pull out your hemp pad and tell your daughter all about the evils of Kotex - yeah it's weird (and she'll figure it out herself ) it's not gonna hurt her to use a pad you wash yourself

[madeintaiwan]

I have nothing to say in terms of the posted topic but Julie's post reminded me of an incident in HS. The local news station covered a story on teens attitudes about waiting for marriage to have sex. One side, kids doing True Love Waits and then the other side, kids who thought it was a little ridiculous. I still have the news clip featuring my classmates and I and me saying, "Who needs to sign a piece of paper to vow not have sex? If I'm not going to have sex, it's going to be because I have self control, not because of some paper I signed." In retrospect the clip could have been viewed all sorts of ways. The kids who were for it were all white and from this little cow town and those of us who were against it were all minorities from a school in the ghetto. Sweet.

[DrWahoo]

I personally think the sentiment is sweet and as many deadbeat dads that are out there, I admire these men for stepping up and doing something to pass on their values to there girls. That said I do think there needs do be something for boys as well.

[pstone]

as many deadbeat dads that are out there

Bah!
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,59963,00.html

[Momo]

Bah!
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,59963,00.html

my nephew is a victim of a dead beat mom...thank goodness my brother makes a decent living...she owes thousands!!!

[mommax3]

Well, like Jenn predicted, I am skeeved out by the dance aspect of the movment. Things that are paternalistic in nature always raise my hackles, not that I am the arbiter of what is appropriate by any means. I do not know anyone personally who has done something like this, but I know plenty of dads who make a special effort to be involved in their daughters' lives, which is a wonderful thing, in my opinion. I have also known dads who take their daughters on "dates" in order to show them how they should be treated by guys that they eventually date.....and I know moms who have done the same thing with their sons.

Not having grown up with a dad, there is a part of me that is jealous of these girls who have dads that care this much about them, and there is also a part of me that thinks that behavior can be modeled without making such a big deal of it. :huh:

Sally

(and Jenn H., it IS all about you. )