Women gives birth at 60

[SuzySunshine]

Just curious what everyone's thoughts are on this:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/18841574/

Personally, if she had gotten pregnant naturally fine, but to go through IVF at that age...what kind of life are those children going to have when they're 10 and their parents are 70?

[Auspicious]

Re: Women gives birth at 60

I think it's whack.

I don't think there should be laws preventing it or anything, but I think it's a bad choice. Kind of like I feel about high school pregnancy. And I think I feel the same about it being either natural or IVF.

And if I were one of her older children, I would also be pretty ticked off if my parents were doing this, but no way would I share that with the press. Here's the Daily News article:

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/2007/05 ... twins.html

[Rapunzel]

This might be a good case of "Just because you can do something doesn't mean you necessarily should."

[Vanquisher]

Too old. Too, too, too old. 70 with teenagers? Not a pretty picture! I am sure your 13 year old really wants to take care of a aging parent.

I agree with everyone so far!

[SuzySunshine]

Yep, when that kid takes their parents to school everyone is going to assume they are their grandparents. I do feel sorry for the older siblings as well b/c if something happens to their parents they are going to be "stuck" taking care of these kids whether they want to or not and they're going to have their own children to worry about probably.

Not smart at all, IMO.

ETA: I saw her interview on the today show this morning and she was trying to compare her situation to women in their 40's having kids - I don't think so!

[SuzySunshine]

Did you hear that they also have a six year old son?

Yes and these babies were had so that he could have playmates.

[alison]

I don't know... I think it's a mean joke that nature plays on us to give us our late teens and early twenties our biologically optimal childbearing years. I don't think I'll "get my act together" until I'm in my 40s or 50s. :huh:

[Auspicious]

Probably no adoption agency would work with them. They usually have age cutoffs and I doubt the cutoff allows for sixty-year-olds to adopt.

I don't think I'll "get my act together" until I'm in my 40s or 50s. :huh:

I'm with you, alison.

But, back to the issue. My grandma and I were 62 years apart in age. She ended up raising my younger sister and myself because my parents couldn't get their act together. I can say that I am the person I am because of her, and for that I am grateful.

I didn't ever feel like she was too old to take care of us. She made our lunches, washed our clothes, grocery shopped, sewed our party dresses, took us to music and dance lessons, came to our music concerts, everything- all at 70 to 80 years old.

The drawbacks were that some of her rules were archaic, like it was indecent for me to answer the door when my dates would come over - whatever. I guess I would look too eager to jump in the sack or something. And her dress code was pretty restrictive, although for a senior year dance with now DH, she caved and let me wear a strapless. I have friends who have older parents who complained of the same thing- like a friend whose mother thought that no man should see you brush your teeth- it was too much like you were living together as husband and wife- sheesh.

So, I don't know how I feel about using IVF at an advanced age, but I disagree when people say that women of a certain age are too old to care for children. You also have to keep in mind that 70 today or even in the future is a much younger 70 than in days past. I think its the new 50, like 40 is the new 20 There are 80 year old women who train for marathons nowadays- long gone are the days of the rocking chair - thank God.

[Rapunzel]

I think the ultimate question here is: Why did she do what she did? Were her motives selfish or did she honestly feel that she was in the best position to give birth to a child at this time in life?

I *guess* I could understand a bit more if it were the latter situation. But, I'm concerned that this was more of a case where someone wants to be "the first" or is attention-seeking in some manner.

In other words: Was this woman acting with the best interest of her potential future child(ren) at heart? Or was she acting for some other reason?

[alison]

I don't buy the idea of being too old to parent. I think there are a huge number of grandparents who give their grandchildren happy and fulfilled lives (in the instance where they have to be the guardians).

In the grand scheme of things, does it matter if people think that your parents are grandparents? I'd like to think that it says more about the people who think that than the actual parent and child.

[Deebs]

My first thought didn't have as much to do with parenting as with risks with pregnancy at such an age. What if she dies during or before childbirth? Even though it is not ideal socially to have children in our teens (and believe me, I'm not advocating teen pregnancy), our bodies actually do better in late teens to mid-twenties.

Re: Women gives birth at 60

I think it's whack.

I don't think there should be laws preventing it or anything, but I think it's a bad choice. Kind of like I feel about high school pregnancy. And I think I feel the same about it being either natural or IVF.

I agree.

The point about grandparents being able to parent is a valid one. However, I think it is a different scenario to step up to that situation than to actively create it. My grandparents were in their sixties when I was early school aged and I did a lot with them and they were up to it (for limited amounts of time). Infants and toddlers are a whole lot more exhausting, IMO.

I also think the point about the older siblings being put in a position to care for or parent the younger siblings is a good point. Same for the younger children possibly needing to care for aging parents. Is it the end of the world? No. But when I compare us (DH and myself) to my parents coping with a parent with Alzheimers, I am certain that my parents are better equipped to deal at their stage of life than we are.

[alison]

Absolutely, Nellie. I agree with you. There is a difference between actively creating the situation of grandparent-age parents and "falling" into it because of unfortunate circumstances.

My grandmother had my mother in her mid-40s, and it was definitely difficult for my parents to juggle parenting us (and jobs!) with caring for an aging parent. Many people my grandmother's age had children who were retired. That makes things so much easier.

[Rapunzel]

My first thought didn't have as much to do with parenting as with risks with pregnancy at such an age. What if she dies during or before childbirth? Even though it is not ideal socially to have children in our teens (and believe me, I'm not advocating teen pregnancy), our bodies actually do better in late teens to mid-twenties.

Oh, absolutely!

I see an enormous difference in how my body handled pregnancy in my early 20's compared to now, in my early 30's! The rigors of breastfeeding and taking care of a newborn are markedly more challenging the older I get as well.

If I had to choose the absolute best time both physically and mentally to have my children it was definitely early to mid 20's! After that there has been a steady decline in the ability of my body and mind to cope with the demands that are normal to this life process. It's just simply the process of aging. And, even if society calls "40" the new "30" or "30" the new "20" - it just ain't so. The body and mind still age, lose their elasticity, and decrease in stamina. It is gradual - but it happens. And, with a significant biological event such as pregnancy and childbirth the difference is marked. I cannot even fathom having a pregnancy and a newborn onward into my 60's....