waiting longer to have kids.

[rainbabies]

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17937795/

[Momo]

WhenI looked up the story you posted,this is the story that caught my eye: http://www.reuters.com/article/healt...9?feedType=RSS

[DCJenn]

Well, I'm a living breathing example of waiting...

(well, I was also 33 when we got married so we didn't wait too long!)

We were told we were ideal candidates for IVF but I was sooooo not intererested and my husband would have refused anyway.

Now for the 10 million dollar question- would I have done things differently? No. Because they don't exactly know what caused my infertility issues- I'm assuming it was PID but have no proof- I may have been in the same situation at 23. and I can dictate the terms of my employment now, thanks to the years of climbing the ladder.

Is having a job more important that my child? Of course not. But we only ever wanted one child to start with and part of that was because I thrive on working. It's part of who I am.

I think there are women (and men) for whom having 'their own' in whatever that means is very important. To me, I got the greatest win-win of them all- I was able to develop my career and thanks to the foresight of a Russian hairdresser named Larissa- I have the greatest kid in the world.

and as for the article, the people in their late 30s and early 40s that I know who are struggling with fertility issues waited not because they wanted to but because they were single. My room-mate from college was 39 when she got married. It's not like she was on purpose throwing away her more fertile years! I think complacency is not the right word to use.

Jenn

[Meenah]

Both stories just make me thankful. When I was younger I never thought about it, I just had kids when I decided I was ready. I now realize how furtunate I was to have no difficulty.

[SuzySunshine]

As someone who has been through this and I don't consider myself old at all here are my thoughts.

- Women should feel comfortable making the choice to wait BUT they should be aware of the possible consequences that could hold.
- I couldn't agree more with the face that since there are so many famous women have children into their 40's people think it will be easy for them to.

Couples should make the decision that is right for them but this society needs to talk about infertility more so that people know its not a "it won't happen to me" statistic.

- Women should feel comfortable making the choice to wait BUT they should be aware of the possible consequences that could hold.
- I couldn't agree more with the face that since there are so many famous women have children into their 40's people think it will be easy for them to.

I agree.

[Momo]

I now realize how furtunate I was to have no difficulty.

My thoughts exactly...DH & I have been truly blessed and are so thankful for the ease of expanding our family.

I have been pondering this issue a lot lately. Right now, I don't have the baby itch and have never felt it, and I personally would rather be an older parent--if I could I'd wait until after age 35 for sure to have kids.

But I am very aware of the infertility risks, and I really don't want to take infertility treatments. So because of that I'm willing to have children before I'm emotionally ready, and I think a good compromise is to start trying around age 32. In my mind, that way I have another few years to become more ready, but it's not waiting too long to where infertility issues are likely to become more of an issue. We only want 1-2 kids anyway, so I think starting around age 32 is a good time, and I am very open to the idea of adoption. If I was told I couldn't have children naturally and I needed infertility treatments, if DH was open to it, I don't think I would go through with the infertility treatments, but would instead adopt.

[Vishenka69]

Pretty much agree with everything above. Although we're waiting, we know we need to make up our mind in the next year or two. I just didn't feel that having a kid for fertility reasons alone was a smart thing to do in the middle of med school or residency. After reading about Jenn's adoption journey and another blog by a woman who went back to Russia to adopt, I'm very open to that route if it'll come to that. Everyone around here is very familiar with my fear of pregnance and birth, so avoiding that wouldn't be a bad idea.

[Rapunzel]

That's an interesting idea to ponder, Annie.

I will be almost 33 when I have this next child.

I barely noticed any difference in my ability to conceive between the ages of 20 and 32 (ie we're talking maybe two or three weeks TTC). And, I truly believe that I could easily conceive at 35 as well. I guess, based on my experience with conception I *might* be one of those women capable of conceiving and bringing to term up until menopause. My maternal grandmother had her last child (her fourth - my mother) at the age of 40 (and, that was over 50 years ago!). So, maybe I have a genetic predisposition for easy conception - and a possible longterm fertility window. :huh:

I DO take issue with women attempting to conceive after menopause. However, up until menopause if you desire to conceive and manage to do so - GREAT for you! I think these medical advances are good things, in other words.

[SuzySunshine]

The problem with the gene argument is that I'm a perfect example of my genes having nothing we can find to do with my infertility.

I have PCOS ususally a hereditary disease but neither my mom or my sisters have it. So while I wish infertility would get less as society grows I think it will only get worse because there are always new causes found.

[Rapunzel]

It is possible that there may be some as-yet-unknown biochemical or genetic factor/phenomenon predisposing a woman to fertility or infertility. The human body has so much undiscovered territory....