religion

[peggyfromwastate]

Hi- Since there's a thread out there on proselytizing, I was wondering if the following situation is "offensive".

We are Christians, and raise our kids with Christian princliples and stuff, but we also tell them (mostly Kate, who is 11) that each individual person has to choose what he or she will believe at some point in his or her life. And for Kate, since she lives with us she has to go along with our belief system (that is, go to church with us) but that she will have to decide for herself later on. We also tell her that most of her friends are also going to go along with their parents' belief systems until which point each of her friends decides for herself. We find that the church sometimes puts emphasis on the kids "sharing" their beliefs with friends, in order for their friends to be "saved". I personally don't think it's appropriate for my DD to tell her friends what they need to do with thier own spiritual lives, and so I have told her to NOT do that, but she can certainly share anything about her OWN spiritual beliefs if she is asked. (When she was 4, she told a sweet little girl that she was going to go to hell probably because she wasn't a Christian! I was horrified! I do not even know where she got the hell idea.)

Anyway, she has had lots and lots of friends from different backgrounds. She's had muslim friends, hindu, jewish, mormon, pretty much everything really. Even "mother earth" friends. And everyone seems to get along. Religion hasn't been divisive. Except for one friend she has, who happens to be Jewish. Her friend comes over and maybe starts looking through Kate's stuff, and then she'll look at a Christian fiction book, and say that it "offends" her because it says something about "Jesus".

My question is: Is it really offensive? Can it be offensive? Kate just says that she personally believes in Jesus, that is how she was raised, and doesn't judge her friend. But these kind of comments come up every time this girl comes over. She always says she is offended whenever Jesus is mentioned. I don't quite know what advice to give to DD. It really doesn't make sense to me...

[planet]

As a Jewish person married to an Episcopalian I certainly don't find references to Jesus to be offensive. Kids often hear snippets of adult conversations and then apply them out of context. Also, just like what your daughter did at 4, sometimes kids say things they don't really get. An 11 year old strikes me as being capable of having a conversation about why she finds it offensive, which could help you and Kate understand where she's coming from, and the friend can listen to an alternative viewpoint.

I certainly do find it offensive when Jesus is used to condemn my faith as "killers," but other than that...nah. We also have friends of all faiths and non-religious too. There are certainly subjects we avoid . If the friend has such a problem with it then maybe Kate will have to just play at her house. :huh:

[pstone]

some people will always be offended by these things. Those are the people that are really trying to convince themselves.

[GrayMatterWife]

I certainly do find it offensive when Jesus is used to condemn my faith as "killers," but other than that...nah

As a Christian, I am offended at that, too. No mainstream church that I know of takes the position that "Jews are the killers of Christ." That is a misinterpretation of Catholic teaching coming from the language of the pre-Vatican II missal. Rome has repeatedly rejected this.

On the original question: I think it would be offensive to assume that non-Christians cannot "handle" the fact that you're a Christian. Most non-Christians in America know, at least in a basic way, that being a Christian means that you believe that Christ rose from the dead to save the world from sin--they may not agree with you, but they recognize that this is your belief. The fact that you believe this could not reasonably be construed as offensive, unless you argue that the belief itself is so repugnant that merely adopting it is offensive. Most people wouldn't see a religion that way, I'd think. So it's not the belief, but what you DO with that belief that may be offensive. And people have a right to be offended if you use your religious beliefs to insult their moral character--"because you are not a Christian, you are going to hell." I would be unhappy if someone of another faith told me that from the perspective of their faith.

[peggyfromwastate]

This girl couldn't explain what offends her- she just said that she didn't "believe in Jesus" and therefore she was offended. I think she was just throwing around that word, "offended".