What do you want to talk about?

[rainbabies]

pre-kid life? pre-med life? activities w/o kids? things to do in the area? how they're coping with med life? hobies?

I'm sure you are better at this than I but I have had luck with recently read books, where are you originally from, how did you meet, ask about parks/museums in the area. For example, I could ask someone when a good time of year is to visit the rose gardens. I think the "did you work before kids" can be dicey but if they offer it up, you might have something in common there. I say that because I think I used to work in a field similar to yours.

Good question. Well, I'm not working right now but informational interviewing is starting to produce some nice leads.

Well, I don't care so much what we talk about as long as there exists a conversation. Lots of spouses here in my new town have been pretty interesting to talk to (so far). But since it's early in the game, no soul-baring please.

I enjoy to talk about food, restaurants, sports, ...things to do in the new town. I ask others about where they grew up ...their hobbies, where they just moved from ....etc.

I've hit it off with a few people and one male spouse in particular so far. And it's just natural when that happens.

I know I'm rambling. But went to a bar with a few couples earlier in the week and had the hardest time (with some different male spouses). And what seemed different with that small subset was NO ONE asked a SINGLE question about me -- the ENTIRE night.

How do you work with that? Folks would turn their bodies for one-on-one conversations and never come up for air.

It was the first time I met one of the two (first has always seemed to be a blowhard). The second guy just moved here after his wife...bought him a beer and tried to chat...but just a monologue from his lips.

Oh well. :huh:

[DCJenn]

As a newcomer, if there is something specific that you're interested in you can ask people who have been there longer- like where do you go to to find ______ (carpet, vacuum repair, dog walkers, etc.) or where the local _____ is- yoga studio, best place for Chinese/pizza/burgers. That kind of stuff seems to work pretty well.

Since you are re-doing you house you can always ask bout fix-it people, painters, lawn care people, etc. (and those are the kind of recommendations you want, anyway)

Jenn

[GrayMatterWife]

Re: What do you want to talk about?

I'm putting this in debates because it's related to parents, but also non-parents.

I've seen a few posts around here where parents bemoan that when they meet people, all people talk about with them are kids or kid-related issues.

As a no-kids, working stiff, can anyone clue me in as to what you would like to discuss when you first meet people? I ask this in earnest so that I can have something in my chatting arsenal for future meet-ups with resident spouses. I truly don't know what to talk about with moms other than their kids.

I like hearing about other people's jobs, their hometowns, how they (a couple) first met, recent news events (non-controversial!)...

[planet]

I'm not so good at this. It seems like conversation is either natural or I am prone to babbling or just clamming up. But I am an absolute sucker for scientific american type news bits. Not gossip...but if you have the know on some cool science or nature type info...tell me!! I also just love when someone talks with passion. It doesn't matter what the topic is...if you are into it, I'll find that alone makes it fun to hear. Conversations about faith and interpretation of biblical material turn me on too, but not in a hokey way, rather a personal no bs understanding that means something to you. Anything that hits on fundamentals and why.

Other interests: Horses (but not so much to talk about), food, art, travel/cultural interactions, good hikes and climbs, ai. I'd be boring in a conversation about shopping or beauty tips.

Oh, and I am a totally tangential talker too. I'm sure I would drive some of you nuts.

[pstone]

Easy...

Talk about something that excites YOU! Find a way to show me how it really moves you.

Tell me something interesting you read, saw, did...

Except that LOTS of people are boring drivel, that like lots of people they can only talk about one thing, be that work, kids, etc....

Those people are not really needed in my life if you ask me, I want someone with passion as a friend, someone that shares what excites them, and then tries to find something in common with what excites me.

If I meet someone I like, I ask them about them, find something they talk about that I am even remotley intrested in and then go there. Perhaps I will find an article or save something in my mind for the next time I see them.

Takes work yes, but perhaps all those single topic obsessed people just need help remembering how to explore the world. Remind the next kid only talker about something else in life...shrug

[houseelf]

Conversation breakers can be hard.


Hey, we're new in town, what do you recommend? Where is the best sushi, pub, and place to eat with kids?

Are you going to wait in line for the new HP installment?

Tell me about the running community!

Did you see that tabloid story about ____?

Was that a Harley I saw you riding?

Where did you go on your last vacation?

And if I'm bored and lonely and need a little excitement and I want to forget all the rules of polite conversation in passing "Hey, I hear that Cincinnati has been cited as "Ground Zero for race relations". How do you feel about that?"

equally pot stirring alternative: I read that Cincinnatians are 2.5 times more likely to send their kids to private school than other Americans. Why do you think this is and what can we do about it?


Kelly

I like DCJenn's idea. I remember asking about dentists, vets, hair stylists (if you like their hair ), etc.

[peggyfromwastate]

It is sometimes hard as a mom to not talk about your kids, I've found. But, that being said, people almost always are surprised that I have the spread of kids I have, so I guess I don't talk about all of them too much. When I meet someone new, we talk about the area mostly and where we came from, where we met our spouses, and what we like to do. Also, we talk about the hours/schedules of our husbands, where we did med school, etc.

I am not good at small talk. Not at all. That's probably why I sometimes talk about my kids. It's familiar, comfortable. But it gets boring to talk about my kids, too. So I imagine it's not all that facinating for others...

LOL! Tara, when I lived in DC, I dated a guy who stopped just short of saying, "But enough about me. What do YOU think about me?"

Lily - you should've known better than to live in D.C. -- the lawyer per capita count was waaaaaaay to high to expect an interesting date. :P

I am an absolute sucker for scientific american type news bits. Not gossip...but if you have the know on some cool science or nature type info...tell me!! I also just love when someone talks with passion. It doesn't matter what the topic is...if you are into it, I'll find that alone makes it fun to hear. Conversations about faith and interpretation of biblical material turn me on too, but not in a hokey way, rather a personal no bs understanding that means something to you. Anything that hits on fundamentals and why.


Oh, and I am a totally tangential talker too. I'm sure I would drive some of you nuts.

Planet - you sound like someone who would be very interesting to have a conversation with!

At DH's first social in PGY1, I could have sworn I was at a sorority ice-water tea during rush week. Every conversation went like this:

Intro...Where are you from? What do you do?
Intro...Where are you from? What do you do?
Intro...Where are you from? What do you do?
Intro...Where are you from? What do you do?
Intro...Where are you from? What do you do?
Intro...Where are you from? What do you do?
Intro...Where are you from? What do you do?
Intro...Where are you from? What do you do?
BORING!!!!!!!!!!!
I am not exagerating this! The evening would have been more enjoyable to me if I could have just people-watched.

GMW - I like to hear how couples met, too. It kind of gives you a different perspective on them. It's usually a pretty good way to have a non-medical conversation with a bunch of medical dorks.

and UVAGRADK - I have had that same experience you did. We had dinner at one of DH's attendings houses and I was the only non-dawkter there besides Mrs. Attending. Never once in the conversation did anyone ask me ANYTHING! I was invisible. It was one of those "I couldn't get a word in edgewise" situations - thick with hospital talk.

I have had that same experience you did. We had dinner at one of DH's attendings houses and I was the only non-dawkter there besides Mrs. Attending. Never once in the conversation did anyone ask me ANYTHING! I was invisible. It was one of those "I couldn't get a word in edgewise" situations - thick with hospital talk.

So far, this has been an anomaly. Both docs and non-docs alike have been really interesting to talk to and have been very socially appropriate. LUCKILY!

The last social was a small sub-group and was disappointing (?) / excruciating because it lasted so long and I went to specifically welcome the new guy (spouse) who became only the second "monologuer" that I've seen.

I've been lucky. I can imagine scenarios where the anomalies for me are the standards for others.

I have only one recommendation in those scenarios (and I follow my own advice) ... drink hard.

Lily,

Well, how 'bout you relocate to Charm City? You can easily go to Annapolis on the down low. Then, we can hang out too. I didn't know / remember the arms dealing. Awesome. I owe you an apology...I thought you were cavorting with lawyers...but what is someone living in Baltimore really supposed to think (stereotypically) of D.C.? Forgive me.

ETA: I seriously was perusing the Midshipmen's football site. I'm figuring season tickets for Navy football is the surest way to get to go to the Army / Navy game. And season tickets not very expensive either.

I have only one recommendation in those scenarios (and I follow my own advice) ... drink hard.

here, here arty: