Mom Kicks Kids out of car

[Meenah]

I've definitely been tempted. My sister once told her kids (10 & 11 at the time) that if they didn't stop fighting in the car she was going to stop, get out of the car and yodel. OK, they live in a small town and she does not know how to yodel. THey didn't believe her and kept fighting, and when she got to a redlight in the center of town, she did get out and attempt to yodel. Both kids stopped in shock, and didn't say a word the rest of the way home. We still all laugh about it. I think it is the shock factor that works, you just have to be creative and legal. Of course, now in our Big Brother society children's services would probably take the kids away because of a poorly yodeling mother.

Well, she said she simply drove around the block and couldn't find her. But do you think she really did? And if after a loop around the block (if true), do you think she really couldn't find the kid? If she drove around the block, but then came back immediately, parked and looked for the kid on foot, what are the odds she wouldn't find her within 20 minutes or so?

I don't think she did just a block or so.

[SuzySunshine]

I thinks he went to far - when the 12 year old caught up with her she should have gone back and found the 10 year old. I also find it hard to believe that after 1 trip around the block she couldn't find the 10 year old and then to call and report her missing without giving the cops the full story is just irresponsible. I'm sure there will be many times when I'll threaten it and depending where we were I may even attempt it but I think this mother was totally out of line.

[GrayMatterWife]

Abigail,

. . . I think that you knew how to get home at age six.

HAHAHA!! My husband would DIE LAUGHING if he saw this post. I have absolutely, positively zero sense of direction. Literally, if he's not sure the way when he's driving, he'll ask me, then do the exact opposite...then we'll get there. For my entire first year in private practice, my secretary would have to print off maps for me to the courthouse. Which was eight blocks away. And I went to at least twice a month.

I was such a pain of a teenager, I am sure my mom was secretly hoping that my internal compass would delay my timely return...

Abigail,

Don't bring your hubby into this. It makes me feel dirty.

It's funny the turn this thread has taken. The folks who are more conservative (Tara, Abigail, Cheri, Nellie - yes, you) have determined this to be a bad judgement call on the part of the mother - at the very least.

It's interesting because the more typically liberal folks who you would think would be all over the charges for bad parenting aren't.

I think that us conservatives are definitely not into the government slapping charges on sensible parents doing sensible things within their own homes (e.g. spanking when necessary).

But the emotional connection with anyone called "mother" has clouded the judgement of others.

Yet, I know that those with more mixed feelings about this case would definitely not exercise the lack of judement this "mother" did in their own families.

Interesting.

[Tenacious_D]

I haven't had a chance to read everything but when my godsister and I were younger ~12 and 13, my godmother told his to get in the car after we went shopping at the mall and we kept playing around and refused to get in...she got fed up and drove off. We freaked out and promised each other to never cross her again. She pulled away far enough where we couldn't see her but she watched us the entire time and drove back 10 minutes later and we got in without a peep.

It's hard to say whether she really endangered her kids...I would assume all she really wanted was to teach them a lesson.

Now, I'm caught between a rock and a hard place. Between Abigail and Lily, either way I lose one.

I definitely can't say that I can read a 'tween girls mind so maybe I am wrong.

I would think that I'd stay still and act cool at ten years old even if I was freaked out. But the ice cream from a stranger does raise red flags.

Maybe I'd walk into a store and have them call mom. Especially in a cell phone world. Hmmnnn...

I thought the part about a stranger (assumed that was the case) taking her somewhere for icecream was also odd. Seems like you should stay in the place you found the kid.

I think that a 12 and 13 year old together is different. I'm basing this on having an almost 9 year old and what she might be like at 10. If I let her walk home from school, I think she would feel proud of that responsibility and have no problem walking home. If I forgot to pick her up and she couldn't find a friend's mom to help her or something, that walk home would probably be an unhappy one for her, maybe scary. Granted, that leaves out the behavior part. I think it is too harsh for a 10 year old, especially after letting the 12 year old back in the car, but not arrestable.

Lily,

That is great to know!

I just don't know why the mom in question didn't stop in her tracks when the 12 year old got into the vehicle and immediately stop and/or turn around for the 10 year old.

It seems that if she did that, there is no way the 10 year old could've vanished.

But if she drove on...without the ten year old...

I guess I just don't get why she couldn't drive them both home and exact a punishment there.

My thinking is that if the 10 yr old was normally a pretty good kid...she'd damage her by dropping her off...and if she was an unstable firecracker (still only 10 years old), mom should've forseen baby milking it for ice cream and attention.

Hell... the last time I thought about Scarsdale was when I read "American Appetites" by Joyce Carol Oates (my girl).

[PrincessFiona]

But Kris and others, just because you empathize with the frustration, doesn't mean you'd do the same. I know you wouldn't. So, don't bring yourselves down by identifying with a mom which you'd never be.

Ahhh...I know...why do I DO this to myself. I have been thinking about this all evening and even though it has crossed my mind I have never done anything like this and never would.

[PrincessFiona]

Also, I think the 12 year old chased after the vehicle and mom let her in. I wonder if traffic prevented her from stopping instantly and going backwards to get the 10 year old?

Either way....I feel so incredibly sensitive to all of these mommy things! LOL

Kris

I think there's a larger lesson here. That is, identifying ourselves as individuals and using common sense and judging others appropriately when necessary.

If you're white, well so what I happen to be so too. If you're Catholic, we'll so what I happen to be so too...etc, etc.. But I don't feel the need to defend your actions or identify with you much at all because you share one characteristic with me. We're probably different in so many ways.

So, I'm a "mother" and so are you....

[v-girl]

I just can't imagine doing this to my 10 year old. Now, with her going to private school all her life she's never had the chance to walk anywhere on her own (we go from school to ballet usually so she doesn't have many social opps without me driving her). I'm pretty sure my Mags would need years of therapy to recover from something like this.

Do I think mom was wrong? Hell yes!!!!! Should she go to jail? No. I think she needs to attend a parenting course that includes a lesson on appropriate ways to deal with your frustrations.

[PrincessFiona]

Naaah, Kevin...it's not because we're both moms...it's because I have felt the same way she has sometimes...though granted, I didn't leave my kids at the curb. LOL I'm sure, however, that there are things that I have done as a parent that could be harshly judged though and that goes for many of us here. Amongst my friends and neighbors, I can think of several examples of things that I have seen or been told that raise my eyebrows....though I wouldn't have these people arrested...and...I have done things too that later cause me to raise eyebrows at myself as I go back over it all and think about how I could have handled situations better.

That's why I think that this gets me. It takes a village to raise a child and for the most part, I think we spend way too much time criticizing each other and not helping and understanding each other. I just don't think she should have been arrested. Was it poor judgment? Yes.

No. I think she needs to attend a parenting course that includes a lesson on appropriate ways to deal with your frustrations.

Yeah - like turn around and scream at the kids in your best "Exorcist" voice and tell them no one is allowed to talk until you get home. .... Or, rather, that's what I'd do.

As long as the mom doesn't have any "priors", then I do think the charges are overkill AND a waste of time/money. I think it was poor judgement all around, but boy, I sure can understand the urge.