Home Birth OB/Gyn Experience

[Sheherezade]

Great insights, Rapunzel. I think the defensiveness could also have to do with her age. One of the gifts of being 40 ish is that you gain so much confidence. I don't think it is necessarily because you feel better about your choices -- you just realize that everyone else is stumbling through life too. So, make your choices and go for it. Judgmental types are really just individuals with no introspection - or big mouths.

[Laker]

What happened in this case: The doctor was surprised that she choose a homebirth and he asked whether she had any prenatal care from an OB/Gyn. That's perfectly reasonable. She states in her blog that "Anticipating what was coming I told him that I had switched from a previous provider because I had been lectured on my choice to birth at home and that I was just there to get some birth control and would appreciate not receiving a lecture on my choices." It appers that she is very defensive about her choice, that she expected to be judged, and she colored him with the same brush as the previous provider. Perhaps she would have been surprised by "what was coming next" but she didn't give him a chance. Telling him that she "would not appreciate a lecture" and that she is "just there to get some birth control" basically says that she is not interested in his professional judgment or advise and just wants the script.

This. I agree 100 percent. As a lawyer, if a perspective client walked in and started demanding things from me and telling me how to do my job and had a crappy attitude, I would do the same thing as this guy. She went into the appointment with a bad attitude and got what she deserved IMO. I feel bad for her husband.

[Chrisada]

I feel bad for her husband.

Ugh. I hate it when people throw around this line.

And I agree that she acted completely inappropriate and that that the doc should have turned her away.

[NYCHoosier]

Home Birth OB/Gyn Experience

Personally, I think it's just looney to care that passionately and deeply about OTHER people's choices. It's fine to be passionate about something (breastfeeding, homebirthing, cloth diapering, co-sleeping, whatever) and to share your positive experiences, but it's so weird to me that people get self-righteous about the decision or be judgmental of others who choose differently. Why would anyone really care? Sounds to me like people who do that are somehow actually a little insecure about being judged themselves.

Agree completely. I'm still years away from childrearing, but I've worked with kids in a number of capacities. I learned early on that every person seems to have strong opinions on how to raise/teach kids, and each person seems to think s/he's an expert.

[NYCHoosier]

Home Birth OB/Gyn Experience

...Accidentally hit "send" too soon. Anyway, it's great for parents to be their own advocates when it comes to their birthing and child raising choices, but there is no singular *right* way to do things. Just as different parenting choices are appropriate for different children, different birthing choices are appropriate for different mothers/pregnancies.

In general, I think people need to chill. out. Choose your choice, own it, and accept that not everyone is going to agree with you.