kids' schooling options

I posted this somewhere else and then decided to start a new thread. (I also searched for previous threads and didn't find them, so feel free to point me to anything I missed.)

DH & I are trying to decide on school options for our kids. Right now, we figure our options are 1) public school, 2) private religious school, 3) private secular school, or 4) homeschool with lots of extracurricular/group activities.

We have one daughter who is pretty shy, and that is factoring heavily in to the decision. We're starting her in gymnastics next week, in hopes that some outside activities will help her prepare for school.

I wish we had a setup like my SIL in CA has. She sends her son to a charter school 2-3 days a week, and the other days she homeschools with the curriculum that they send home.

What do you do for your kids? How did you make that decision, and how has it affected them socially? Also, at what age did they start school? If your kids were able to skip a grade, did you let them, or do you think it's socially better for them be with their age group?

TIA for the input. We have 1 or 2 years to research our options & decide, depending when we start them.

Thanks, Rapunzel! I would love to homeschool, but a major hesitation is that I think I'd go nuts trying to fit in with the majority of that community. (I know you've expressed some mild frustration as well.) More importantly, I'm not sure it's best for DD#1 to be home so much. I would think it would work better for kids who were naturally outgoing. ??

I'm leaning more toward a secular private school, if I can find one that's not totally homogenous - and that doesn't break the bank for 4 kids. I have no idea what the cost is, and I assume there would be a wait list, too.

There's also a possibility that we would end up in an area with a smaller public school. The public school I attended was fantastic, and if I could find one that was as good, I'd consider it. That was an awful lot of years ago, though...

[GrayMatterWife]

FWIW:

--DS (our only school-aged child) went to a private secular Pre-K year. It was a very tony, "exclusive," (read: $$$...) school (at least, by the standards for this city). We didn't send him there because we "fit in" or wanted to fit in with that sort of money. We sent him there because we genuinely loved the school and we thought the people were unpretenious and a great mix of folks. We then switched to a Catholic elementary for Kindergarten last year. We switched him because we really wanted him to receive daily religious instruction and faith modeling. It was much cheaper (about a fourth the cost), but--again--that wasn't the reason. The school has great academics and is a nice blend of folks. However, the experience was an unmitigated disaster for DS. Because the way the school was structured, there was very little flexibility for any kids performing below or above the median. DS was bored and acted out a lot. The year grew darker and darker for him; by about March, I was seriously concerned that we were facing the onset of depression (by him and me!!). This year, we returned him to the school where he'd done Pre-K, which has a lot more flexibility and ability to individualize, and--lo and behold--no behavior problems. He is a happy, successful, well-adjusted, sweet-demeanored little guy again!

--In short, DS's education is expensive but WORTH EVERY SINGLE PENNY. I don't care what vacation I have to forgo or what luxury I can't have, or what grocery item I can't buy. This is money well-spent. I now know what it is like to have a bad schooling experience and I am deeply grateful that DS could return to his previous school.

--We live in a city with a VERY bad public school. As in, it has been stripped of its state accreditation. We never considered the local city public school. We considered two possible alternate options for public schooling: a magnet and a charter. The magnet has a fantastic reputation...for a city school. And it has great opportunities...for a city school. And it has very high reading performance scores...for a city school. But there is very little flexibility for any child who deviates above the norm (which DS was already doing--it's not a bragging point--the public school entry performance levels are very low). We toured the school and felt like it was really great...for a city school. But it was not even close to what you could get in private. I looked at a charter Spanish/French brand-new immersion school. MAN, was it fantastic!!! LOVED IT!! However, the well-experienced school head was honest: kids in the immersion program tend to lag a little behind the average in terms of math and reading scores--in the initial years (Pre-K - third), but then catch up. However, because it is almost certain that we will move in DS's second grade year, we did not want him in a situation where he might be a little behind, but fluent in Spanish. As much as we loved the immersion idea, the timing was not right for DS.

--We never considered homeschooling, at least not with DS. I think he very much benefits from the classroom environment. But, I also think that if it is a good fit for your child, it would be 100% worth it. And it would give you some control over some of the insane curriculum choices that you occasionally see in schools.

[spotty_dog]

Private school is not on the table for us, both because of the cost and because there isn't a viable option on our island.

The public school here is quite decent. There is also a publicly-funded homeschool support program (basically a la carte classes to supplement homeschooling for kids K-12: everything from violin to yoga, Creating with Clay to Guided Saxon Math Studies) that intrigues me quite a lot. Eddy will be eligible for kindy in Fall 2012 so we've got some time to decide. For now he's in a parent cooperative preschool program (the best of limited options but a pretty good fit for us) that he's loving a lot.

[v-girl]

DH & I were both public school kids. We now live in the same school district I went to elem school in. They teach to the standardized test and have a high school the size of a small city. Our daughters went to Catholic school (the only one in the metroplex with special services and a gifted/talented enrichment program). It was a hike, but it wasn't a fortune (tuition for the two girls was $750/month).

When we could no longer afford the gas (we were getting free tuition our last year), I began to homeschool. It is so amazing! We all love it -- including DH! Our plan is to do it until high school for the girls. I don't know that I will do it with Kenny, but he is a very different personality. And I didn't start teaching the girls until they were in 4th & 5th grades.

[houseelf]

What do you do for your kids? My kids were educated via private montessori schools until this September. I love montessori and it resonates with my parenting philosophy. However I did begin to feel that after third grade, my son needed more: bigger facilities, greater music options, more students, more teachers, etcetera. My dream school would be montessori from 3-9 with a gradual transition to traditional curriculum around age 10. We are in the number one school district in the State, per Ohio's ranking system, and the middle school has impressed the heck out of me. I'm thrilled we switched him now because he is getting that organizational piece that ten year olds lack. (e.g. Red folder for this class, trumpet on Tuesday, homework due next Monday). As much as I love montessori, I'm glad he is getting this piece now rather than in 7th grade. I know we made the right choice for him so far.

Because our property taxes are so high, we decided to put DD into 1st grade here instead of continuing with montessori. I can't tell you that it has been a resounding success. Unlike my son, she is not a middle of the pack or above average kid. She misses the individual lessons and freedom of movement of a montessori classroom. She regularly has her desk turned around for chatting up friends or is placed on yellow for getting silly bands out of her backpack. On Friday, DD told one of the dedicated teacher aides for a child with an IEP that she wanted one-on-one time with her and asked why did child X always get to work with her?

The teacher is trying to work with her to provide enrichment curriculum, but it is not frequent enough. I am monitoring this situation very closely. On one hand, I don't want her to bounce from school to school, on the other hand, I don't want her to think of herself as a bad kid. She simply is beyond the curriculum being taught. She is very social and likes going to school, riding the bus, and at least once a week goes to chat up the nurse. On the other hand, she hasn't learned a single new thing this year. She does enjoy helping everyone else with their work in the classroom.

How did you make that decision, and how has it affected them socially? This is where I am going to sound cult-like and state that I believe that montessori is a gift that you give a child for life. I love the cooperative and self-directed education. My two older children are both very social and like spending time with their peers. My whole objective until my kids reach h.s. is for them to like school. I feel like this is one of the most important things. Even with their individual struggles, they both report liking school.

Also, at what age did they start school? 3 is when most montessori classrooms begin.

If your kids were able to skip a grade, did you let them, or do you think it's socially better for them be with their age group? Absolutely not. DD has an August bday and I didn't want to send her when she was eligible even though three teachers, the school counselor, and pretty much everyone who ever met her was like "SEND HER!" because of her abilities and her outgoing personality. I hate that she is the youngest in her class and she legitimately is in the correct class. I want my kids to be kids as long as possible. You don't get to go back and do it again, you know. I tend to lean strongly in the "hold 'em if you can" camp on the summer birthday issue.

I'm going to make a bold statement which I hope doesn't offend anyone, but it is my observation. I never met anyone who skipped more than one grade who totally had it together socially. Perhaps, my interaction with people of this set is limited, but this is what I have personally observed. If you skipped two grades, I'm sure that you are normal.

Intellect will only take you so far. After that, other variables come into play. You can't trade one set of skills off for another.

Well, I looked into private school options. The cost for the lower grades seems... swallowable. But for high school - hoooly moly! During the one or two years that all four kids would be in high school at the same time, it would be $36,000 per year! I also emailed two other very promising schools that don't list their tuition on their web sites. We'll see if it's any lower. They do mention the fact that there is a wait list. Maybe I should add our kids to the list even if we're not sure yet.

I also need to find a way to assess what the public schools are like. There's not much to find online, so I guess I'll have to ask around after we get there.

Rapunzel and v-girl, do your kids attend classes or events outside the home? If so, do you find those to be friendly environments? I did find two school co-ops where the kids could attend regular (a la carte) classes. One of them gives me the heebie jeebies (obviously I'm having a bit of a crisis related to this), but the other seems less reactionary. Anyone I meet who homeschools loves the actual school part of it. My little sister was pulled from public school because she talked & joked nonstop and was not interested in learning (I don't know how we can possibly be related). Her subsequent home education was beyond amazing. That's the part I'd like, but the community aspect of it seems frustrating.

There is also a publicly-funded homeschool support program (basically a la carte classes to supplement homeschooling for kids K-12: everything from violin to yoga, Creating with Clay to Guided Saxon Math Studies)

See, this would be perfect. I emailed the state department of education (charter school contact person) to see if our state has any hybrid charter school options like the one my SIL has. I couldn't find any in my own search, but I'm anxious to see what she says. If they had something like that, I'd choose it in a heartbeat.

Intellect will only take you so far. After that, other variables come into play. You can't trade one set of skills off for another.

We cross-posted. I completely agree with the above statement.

I'm glad for your perspective on montessori. One of the private schools offers a montessori option that I kind of skipped over. I'll go back and look at it more carefully. This is one that didn't list their tuition, so I'm holding my breath that it's affordable.

[Michele]

D will be 5 next August, just in time to start Kinder when we move. I'm starting to learn about our options. My sister teaches elementary in the county we'd be moving to....though not close enough to our hopeful job location that she could feasibly homeschool our kids (my ideal scenario).

Homeschooling interests me but I'm kinda feeling like I lack the organizational prowess to pull it off.

And then I found this article:
http://www.suite101.com/article.cfm/...t_home/62377/3 How Can I Homeschool If I Can't Even Keep My House Clean?

D will be 5 next August, just in time to start Kinder when we move. I'm starting to learn about our options. My sister teaches elementary in the county we'd be moving to....though not close enough to our hopeful job location that she could feasibly homeschool our kids (my ideal scenario).

Homeschooling interests me but I'm kinda feeling like I lack the organizational prowess to pull it off.

And then I found this article:
http://www.suite101.com/article.cfm/...t_home/62377/3 How Can I Homeschool If I Can't Even Keep My House Clean?

That is an encouraging article! I imagine you will do a fantastic job if that's what you decide to do. My sister is a teacher, too, but not quite close enough to us to help. If you don't mind me asking, do you feel like you will be able to find support in the community?

I found this one: http://educationnext.org/home-school...es-mainstream/
It's a very interesting (and long) article. It makes homeschooling out to be a relatively heterogenous movement, and it has statistics to support it. I'm sure it varies by location, and I'm guessing your current experience, Rapunzel, is still pretty common.

I talked to DH about the secular private schools. He's concerned that they will be too uppity, which I think could be the case at ANY private school, unfortunately. I think I'm still leaning that direction... We'll see what the DOE lady has to say.

[v-girl]

Rapunzel and v-girl, do your kids attend classes or events outside the home? If so, do you find those to be friendly environments?

We are not in a co-op this year, but will most likely join one next year when Mags will be in 7th grade. The girls take a lot of dance lessons (4 classes a week per kid). We are having to homeschool religious ed this year because of the dance schedule we ended up with. Next year will be regular CCD at our parish. We are members of two Catholic homeschool groups. There are a lot of different homeschool groups around here. We went with Catholic ones since our girls have enough non-Catholic friends who are homeschooled and we wanted a semi-continuation of the Catholic schooling they were used to -- our Catholic homeschool groups go to Mass to start and end the year, celebrate holy days together and us moms have been known to drink wine at our monthly mom's nights out (depending on the location).

us moms have been known to drink wine at our monthly mom's nights out (depending on the location).

That's it - I'm becoming Catholic!

Seriously, a lot of the good alternative school options in our area are Catholic.

[v-girl]

Homeschooling interests me but I'm kinda feeling like I lack the organizational prowess to pull it off.

I'm not organized. But a friend of mine gave me a few Excel spreadsheets that totally helped organize at least the homeschool aspect of our lives. I'll email them to you and you can see what you think. Now, I really only use the weekly assignment sheets since I've found I need some flexibility and don't want to plan 40 weeks at a time.

[v-girl]

That's it - I'm becoming Catholic!

Seriously, a lot of the good alternative school options in our area are Catholic.

I think we're pretty fun!

[Michele]

I have no idea what the homeschool community is like where we are moving. We aren't religious and it seems like a lot of the groups I see online are faith-based.

I'll look for the email Veronica.

I try to do a twice weekly "school" with Daegan....mostly just talking about letter sounds, writing letters, and rhyming....normal parenting stuff, but I try to have him sit/stand in our "school area" to help him focus. He gets frustrated really easily though and once he gets frustrated he quits. 10-15 minutes would be a long session. He is only 4, so I don't expect much.