kids' schooling options

I wouldn't actually convert just based on culture... but a drink sounds nice!

I have no idea what the homeschool community is like where we are moving. We aren't religious and it seems like a lot of the groups I see online are faith-based.

If there were a lot more diversity where we're going, I would be less hesitant. It is THE biggest reason I'm not just jumping in (with DD's shyness as a close second).

I always thought I liked Jada Pinkett Smith. Now, I know that I do!

She's gorgeous. And the ability to travel is a bonus. My dad travels a lot, and he, my mom, and my sister would load up and visit historical sites, incorporating it all in.

[DCJenn]

We struggled with the decision- ok, not true- I struggled with the decision- my husband didn't bat an eye. We enrolled him at a pretty crunchy pre-k program with amazing teachers- they'll keep the kids until they're 13. The problem was that it's a REALLY small school and had limited resources. They did and do amazing things with the kids though.

We ultimately sent our son to the public elementary school across the street that also happens to be a Spanish Immersion magnet school. The neighborhood kids get first dibs and then they open up to the rest of the district and then the rest of the city. It's been pretty good so far- they can't exactly teach to the test because EVERYTHING is in Spanish- arts, music, math, social studies, science- whatever it is, it's in Spanish. There is a standardized test for Spanish programs and they do take the Texas test but the school seems a little less rigid.

If we moved, I honestly don't know what we'd do- I guess we'd have to see where we were going and what the schools were like. I can guarantee that if the Army sends us back to DC, we'd buy only in the neighborhoods with good schools. I'm all for all of the changes that the DC Chancellor has been making but I'm not quite ready for my kid to be a test case, either.

Jenn

[Meenah]

I'm all for all of the changes that the DC Chancellor has been making but I'm not quite ready for my kid to be a test case, either

.

Just another reason I Luuurve you!!!!

[GrayMatterWife]

I talked to DH about the secular private schools. He's concerned that they will be too uppity, which I think could be the case at ANY private school, unfortunately. I think I'm still leaning that direction... We'll see what the DOE lady has to say.

I'd encourage your DH to be slow to prejudge. As I mentioned, my DS goes to an expensive private secular school. I was VERY uncomfortable with that part of the experience at first. I went to a public city school that most definitely was not affluent; DH went to a public suburban school that was somewhat affluent. Neither of us felt comfortable when we went to birthday parties (complete with rented ponies and bounce houses) hosted a million+plus houses, etc. I just assumed that we were the freaks--the ones who really had to sacrifice to make tuition happen. That turned out not to be true. I just went to a kiddo's BD party this weekend and hung out with the coolest two moms, both of whom were single moms (one of whom lives in an apartment, like us!) and definitely have to kill themselves to keep their kid in the school. They make DH and me look like we have oodles of dough. Plus, very few of the families are pretentious. I also was pretty dismissive of the "diversity" stuff the private schools babble about. It seemed forced and inorganic to me. Like they had their token "black folks" to make themselves feel "well-rounded," but weren't interested in much past the superficial. I hate "diversity" for "diversity"'s sake. It's usually just about a bunch of white folks wanting to feel self-congratulatory about their "broadmindedness" and self-perceived liberalness. But, at least as to DS's school, turned out that I was wrong about that, too--on several accounts. (Hahahaha! That is, everyone--except me and a couple of others!--comes from money, regardless of race--yeah, maybe the diversity isn't all that great after all--you may have good racial/ethnic/religious diversity, but you have little socio-economic diversity!).

Anyhow, I know private secular schools may sound insufferable, but my fears re: this were never realized and turned out to have been based pretty much on stereotypes and prejudices I had from my own childhood. Give people a chance. I was self-conscious and terrified about nothing.

Re: secular / uppity ...

Of course every area has it's wealthier area / groups, but it's not as though you're moving to Silicon Valley, the Hamptons, or NYC. There will be people with more money in your new area, but any private secular school there isn't going to be all big $$. There are degrees of everything.

[GrayMatterWife]

Re: secular / uppity ...

Of course every area has it's wealthier area / groups, but it's not as though you're moving to Silicon Valley, the Hamptons, or NYC. There will be people with more money in your new area, but any private secular school there isn't going to be all big $$. There are degrees of everything.

Yes. You hit the nail on the head. I grew up in the Northeast, where private secular schools are different. Much more consistent "monied" populations. I carried that assumption with me when we were looking for schools here in the midwest. I did not realize that it was not necessarily the same. I made a lot of presumptions about people that were unfounded. And, even the REALLY wealthy people with kids at our school are still very normal people. No "we're old money, you're not one of us" feel. I mean, I don't know if the Anheiser-Busch kids go to this school, but if they do, you wouldn't know it.

I agree with you--private/secular may be a different experience depending on your region of the country. I just wanted to offer the thought that it may not be as exclusive and snotty as you'd fear. I was really wrong thinking that.

[GrayMatterWife]

[Mild thread meandering...]

Something I would add: I have experienced a LOT of snobbiness/elitism from folks here from the 'burbs. I was shocked the first time I heard someone from the affluent 'burbs (with a fantastic public school system) tell me, "Oh, you don't want DS to go to a city school. It will follow him the rest of his life."

??What?? He's FIVE. You're telling me that in twenty years, someone is going to care? The answer is: "Well, of course. He won't get into a good high school if you send him to a city school."

Some of the elementary magnet/charters here are very good! Some of my 'burbs friends are WAY snobbier than anyone I've met at our private school, honestly.

It's usually just about a bunch of white folks wanting to feel self-congratulatory about their "broadmindedness" and self-perceived liberalness... I hate "diversity" for "diversity"'s sake.

You have great points, and I agree with you on paper. "Diversity" maybe was the wrong word for what I'm describing. I'm trying not to post details... but mostly I'm talking about a diversity of thought that doesn't have anything directly to do with race in this case. I'll send you a pm so you know why I think I have a reason to be concerned.

it's not as though you're moving to Silicon Valley, the Hamptons, or NYC

Very true! I think if we decide on a secular private school, I'll be able to talk DH into it.

I guess we'd have to see where we were going and what the schools were like. I can guarantee that if the Army sends us back to DC, we'd buy only in the neighborhoods with good schools.

Any ideas on how to tell which public schools are "good?" Right now I'm going with the realtors' descriptions - "located in the coveted xyz school district" with lots of exclamation marks. I have some idea of which ones might be good, just from living there for a few years, but are statistics available somewhere for public school districts? Or private schools, for that matter?

[Pollyanna]

I think we should note that assuming a private school will be uppity is like assuming all doctors are rich.

He's not making a totally blind statement, nor is he completely ruling this school out. Although we're not exactly in the Hamptons, unkind behavior can still characterize a school anywhere in the world - and we don't know for sure if it characterizes this one. There are variations in schools, even variations in the kinds of families who go there, and we'd like to find one that best helps our kids develop.

Anyway, he wasn't making a sweeping statement, although it sounds like *I* made one... Really, I'm sorry if I caused offense.

[spotty_dog]

Deb, try greatschools.net, I haven't figured out exactly how to interpret the info but it's a start.

Michele, searching for secular homeschool turns up lots of info and community groups and stuff. A lot of secular homeschool tends toward the unschooling model but an online acquaintance of mine writes http://smrtlernins.com/ to document her family's rigorous classical secular homeschool experience (basically the Well-Trained Mind method, like Rapunzel's family). They live in Georgia and have a great co-op and community going, so such things do exist in the South. (She's also a very vocal lactivist, and I believe she's a babywearing advocate and all that other crunchy stuff.)

[Michele]

Thanks Alison!

Schooling is as loaded a topic as religion or politics!! Just mentioning it to my mom almost got us in a fight! Both she and my sister are kinda in the anti-homeschooling, PRO-public school, only-consider-private-if-the-public-is-*really*-bad group....of course they both work in the public system and complain about the shortcomings and hoops NON-stop! They complain about all the required standardized testing, about the crappy teachers that get tenure and can't be replaced, about the kids who don't want to be there disrupting the learning for everyone else, about NCLB requiring them to teach to the lowest performers and leaving the other kids bored and neglected.....but when I mention homeschooling as an alternative, they get very defensive of "their" system. And they point out their one or two experiences w bad homeschoolers as evidence of why the government should crack down on it....like the mom who recently reenrolled her son to middle school after 4 years of "homeschooling" where she really just used him as a babysitter for his younger siblings while she worked. Yeah, well that sucks, but it's not the norm and I resent being grouped with her merely because I'm considering homeschooling.

Thanks for letting me get that out.

[GrayMatterWife]

...like the mom who recently reenrolled her son to middle school after 4 years of "homeschooling" where she really just used him as a babysitter for his younger siblings while she worked.

That's criminal!

No, I mean, that ACTUALLY criminal. It's called child neglect (for failing to school) and child endangerment (for leaving younger children in the custody of a pre-middle schooler).

Michele, you can find statistics on homeschooling that will help quell those assumptions. Homeschooled kids perform well above the national average. But I hear you on not wanting to be grouped with everyone else.

Deb, try greatschools.net, I haven't figured out exactly how to interpret the info but it's a start.

This was SO helpful! I found a school in our desired area that has a 9 out of 10 rating for student performance, plus great reviews. I called their secretary, and she has to be the friendliest person I've talked to in a long time. It's a public school (started as a charter school), but it's in a predominantly Catholic area and has a Catholic name. We're not Catholic, but I wouldn't mind my kids attending a public school with lots of Catholic classmates. Class size is almost always less than 20, sometimes less than 15. The secretary even took time to look up one of the houses we're interested in buying to make sure it's in their district. She knows the people who own it. It's a heartbreaking story, and she was willing to tell me that they're doing well. If the secretary is any reflection of the school (she says she's been there a long time and loves it), this is definitely high on my list of possibilities. YAY for options!

[HouseofWool]

Alison - thank you for the website. It totally confirmed my gut feeling about the schools Caleb has attended. His previous school (which I LOVEDLOVEDLOVED) scored a 9 and his current school scores a 5. It is a huge difference and saddens me because I can see it every day.